371: Own Your Zone of Strengths

“There’s something about women in dentistry…” That’s the topic behind this episode, which features Anne Duffy of the Just DeW It podcast! Anne, who has a long history in clinical dental hygiene and dental entrepreneurship, discusses with Kiera the magic in being a female, especially in the dental profession.

This episode is full of inspiration to cheerlead one another, overcome shaky confidence, and celebrate your own strengths. (Psst, take the StrengthsFinder quiz to find what makes you unique and a powerhouse in your own way.)

Episode resources:

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Connect with Anne

Reach out to Kiera

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Podcast Transcript

Kiera Dent:

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Dental A Team podcast. I'm your host Kiera Dent. And I had this crazy idea that maybe I could combine a doctor and a team member's perspective, because let's face it. Dentistry can be a challenging profession with those two perspectives. I've been a dental assistant, treatment coordinator, [scheduler pillar 00:00:21], office manager, regional manager, practice owner. And I have a team of traveling consultants where we have traveled to over 165 different offices, coaching teams. Yep. We don't just understand you. We are you. Our mission is to positively impact the world of dental. And I believe that this podcast is the greatest way I can help elevate teams, grow VIP experiences, reduce stress, and create A-teams. Welcome to the Dental A Team podcast.

            Hello, Dental A Team listeners. This is Kiera, and you, guys, I am so excited for this guest. Her and I actually met through the one and only Joanna Scott. She is the wife of Josh Scott, owners of Studio 8E8. And Joanna told me, "Kiera, you have got to meet this woman. She's incredible. You're going to love her." So, we actually got connected to Anne through Women Dentists Connect, our sister company that I owned with Summer Kassmel. And Anne Duffy, you, guys, she is incredible. She owns Dental Entrepreneurs, and she does Dental Entrepreneurs Women. So that's how we all got connected. And I had the most fabulous conversation with her. She literally influenced and impacted my life so much. And so I said, "Anne, we have to get on the podcast." So I am so, so, so dang jazzed to welcome Anne Duffy to the show. Anne, how are you today?

Anne Duffy:

            Oh my gosh, Kiera, thanks for having me. I'm doing great. It's a gorgeous day here in Charlotte, North Carolina. Spring has sprung, and I am loving it.

Kiera Dent:

So fun. Charlotte is such a beautiful place. My mom's going out there next month. She's graduating from [UNMC 00:01:53].

Anne Duffy: Really?

            Yes, yes.

            How cools it that?

Kiera Dent:

She is a rockstar. Her whole life, she wanted to get her Master's, trying to do Library Science. And so, all of her seven kids are grown, and she decided to take on her Master's Program. So she graduates in May. So shout out to Mama. So she'll be out in your area.

Anne Duffy:

Shout out to mama. Well, listen, if you need somebody to go and clap, I will be that person. I would love to meet your mom. Wow. That's so impressive. Seven kids. Huh? Man. I'm a slacker. I'm telling you what, that is something. When do you get your drive? I told you when we were just talking, chatting before, I said, "My gosh, you are one of the most accomplished young ladies that I have ever met in dentistry." And I've met a lot of great ladies in dentistry. You are driven, accomplished, and confident, and that's a great recipe for success.

            Well, thank you, Anne. I appreciate that. Yes, my mom... I mean, there might be a reason we don't have kids yet. I kind of feel like I raised five kids, being the oldest girl, but my mom, my family is incredible. Anne, let's talk, listeners have not met you, have not heard you. Kind of walk us through how you're connected into dentistry. Obviously you've got Dental Entrepreneurs, which I'm obsessed with. So, kind of just walk us through your journey and how you got into DeW. I love that you say like, "DeW you Kiera." Dental Entrepreneurs Women. So kind of walk us through your journey.

            Well, it's been a long one. Actually, I literally just retired from clinical dental hygiene after 46 years.

            Impressive.

            In December, I came back after COVID or during COVID, I would say. But I graduated from Ohio State in Dental Hygiene. I met my husband in college and we moved all over the country. I took six State boards and I continued to practice, raising three kids with my hubby. And we'd landed in Charlotte, North Carolina, about 27 years ago. And that was great. I really was disappointed that the two-day Chapel Hill Dental Hygiene Exam was just like, "Ugh, I'll never get there." So I didn't work for about a year when we moved to Charlotte with the kids were little, and we were racing around for soccer and all that kind of stuff. And anyway, when I finally ended up taking the test and started working on my two days a week, I loved working. And for all you moms out there, in hygiene and even dentistry, I really enjoyed, as a young mom, working Tuesday Thursday, because the kids, if they got sick, they could make it through the day and I could take care of them the next day, and then get them off on a Thursday.

            Smart plan.

            Yeah, it worked out for my schedule, but there was... I guess in a way, I think at that point, Kiera, it's kind of funny. I think I realized the dental hygiene. It's funny when you first... I always took ownership in every practice. I'm digressing. I'm just thinking about this. And so, you get into a practice as a hygienist, and I always felt like I was the vice-president. There was nowhere to go. I got tapped out. So a side gig came along my way. And I said yes, and it was with a company that was selling toothpaste and mouth rinse. And that's how I got my chops on leadership and personal development. And through that journey, I was at a trade show and met a guy that was starting Dental Entrepreneur, going to all the dental schools, Dental Entrepreneur Business Beyond the Classroom.

            And he thought I could sell ads for him, advertising. And it was print. We went to all the... drop shipped to all the schools. So I came on board and we were very successful right from the get-go. And I loved it. And I think because I worked with so many different dentists and across the country, I had a love for the young dentists in the business of dentistry, because that's what you teach, right? And it's like, if you're not successful in business, you can't be successful in life or clinically or anything.

            It's just a weight on your shoulders. So that resonated with me, didn't resonate so much with a guy that started it, because he was a journalist and had no dental passion. So I bought it from him. Well, I built the biggest networking group in the company, the toothpaste and mouth rinse company, of female dental professionals. So that's one thing I had going. Then I had the Dental Entrepreneur. And so I was reaching out to authors and also to all sorts of different authors, accountants in practice transitions, I mean, is all the business, and young dental owners and things like that. And then the marketing people selling advertising, I was kind of a one person show. And so I knew a lot of females in the dental arena in all different career paths.

            And about four years ago, one of my dearest friends that I've known since I started Dental Entrepreneur, just came out of her review and she was crying. She was so berated and belittled in that review. I was outraged. I'm like, "Dang it. I am going to start something to highlight all the amazing women in dentistry," because we're sitting in the backseat. And it was really an Erin Brockovich moment. I mean, don't get my dander up or I will [inaudible 00:06:49] DeW something, right, DeW. It's funny, Tom and I were on the back porch that night. And I said, "You know, I'm just going to call it DeW, because I'll have a sister publication for Dental Entrepreneur, so Dental Entrepreneur Woman. And that has been the best name and so much fun because we are DeWing us DeWing you, DeW you, and we're just going to do it. And so it's really morphed into a movement to raise women in dentistry, to inspire, empower, and really, the neatest thing about it is the connection.

            And I wouldn't know you if I didn't know Joanna Scott, and wouldn't know Summer. And you're going to meet so many amazing women at our retreat, if you can make it in November, that walk in a different lane, but they're so powerful. I so believe. And again, love my dudes. Listen, I love my husband. I got two boys, two grown men that I raised and a grown daughter. But there's something about women in dentistry. They're so strong. They're driven. They're smart. And yet I feel even more strongly now than I did when I started DeW, that we are still behind men in this profession.

            And it seems like the decision makers in mostly men and in every aspect of dentistry. So, we've got a lot of work to do, but it's not like we want to replace anybody. We really just want to sit there at the table with them and be part of the decision-making and part of the fun and excitement of this amazing profession. So that's pretty much it. We DeW Life is our movement and we publish four times a year in that publication. So that's a lifestyle magazine for women in dentistry. Women first, and you just happen to be in dental.

            Yes. I love it. Hello, Dental A Team listeners. All right. One of my absolute favorite quotes is, "You are always one decision away from a totally different life." So what life do you want to have? Do you want more accountability? Do you want a team that's trained? Do you want to have somebody who thinks outside the box and creates just for you? Do you want to have a coach? Do you want to have team training? Do you just need somebody to kick you in the rear and get you going?

            Okay, don't worry. I'm in every single one of those boxes. And that's why we created Dental A Team Silver, Gold, and Platinum. it's going to be customized team training for you, on the terms you want. So Silver? Silver is more for accountability. Gold? Gold includes all of our online training, plus the accountability, and Platinum includes all of that, and in office. You guys, I would strongly suggest you go join Dental A Team Gold today, because you're always one decision away from a totally different life. So, what are you waiting for? Hop on over to thedentalateam.com today. You guys, we only have so many spaces. So get over there today, and sign up for Dental A Team Silver, Gold, or Platinum.

            Love that so much because obviously, Summer and I have Women Dentists Connect, female doctors. I remember when Summer came to me and said, "Kiera, do you notice anything different?" And I said, "Yeah, I absolutely do." And also myself. And the first time we met and... I think this is like a honesty moment with the Dental A Team listeners. For a long time, Taylor Swift just had a song that came out. All you, guys know I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift.

            Love her.

            I love Taylor Swift. She came out with a song that said If I Was a Man, and that song resonated with me so much, because for so much of my life, I wish that I would have been born a boy. I wished, not because I actually like want to be a boy. I just felt that if I was a guy, I would be able to get further ahead in life.

            I felt guys are the ones who are successful business owners. Guys are the ones who are strong. Women are weak. And that was kind of my mantra for a lot of my life. And so when Summer asked me, "Hey Kiera, do you notice anything different?" I'm like, "Well, closet, over here, yes, me too." And I started realizing, talking to a lot of our female doctors, a lot of our female associates, a lot of just female in general, that there was just a different needs, than, I would say, that their male counterparts were needing. I think a lot of times I would also watch at conferences. A lot of women would not raise their hand when they had a question and said, they'd pull me to the side and ask a question for fear of looking dumb. And for fear of like, I should know that.

            And I remember Summer and I had a time where we told somebody about Women Dentists Connect and somebody said, "Whatever. Are you just going to have a pink PNL?" And we said like, "No, there really is that empowerment piece in." And I love that you do this so beautifully of, we'd love that. Men? And we also love the women and just having a space where women really empower each other. And I will say from my own personal experience. The first time Summer and I ran Women Dentists Connect in person. And then our second time, I just felt this overwhelming gratitude for being a female. And also just so much love for so many women who had incredible breakthroughs and realized they could run a successful business. I told you, Anne, that my book came for. I don't know if this was a compliment or a bash, but he told me, he said, "Kiera, when I first met you, I did not think that your business would be that spectacular."

            He said, "I thought you were just going to be some business owner. It wasn't even female-directed based, that I just thought you would just be this little business owner." And he's like, "Now I actually use your businesses. One of my examples of one of the most successful businesses I've seen." And I was like, flabbergasted. He works with hundreds of doctors. But I think that there are so many women, like you said, with that DeW's mission is of empowering and inspiring women to be great, and to not take a seat back, and that they don't have to be a man to be successful. And to really embody that soft and nurturing side of being a female versus I was resenting. I used to, I literally would say, "I hate being a girl. If I was just a guy, this would be so much easier and I'd get all the business deals." And then finding that there is magic in being a female, and that you can be equally as strong in your own way is something that I just think is beautiful that DeW does incredibly well.

            Yeah. And, so many things you just said. First of all, I want to go back to the raising of the hand. This is what happens. And this is why women don't raise their hand is because they put their hand up and no one calls on them. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from doctors, from dentists, that they are in there. They're kind of basically flapping their arms around saying, "Call on me, call on me," and they call on the guy behind them. So that's one thing and I've heard it so often. So it's so interesting.

            The other thing is, you're just cute as a button and I can't even imagine. You're like six feet tall and bulletproof, it almost reminds me of that. It must be like growing up with all those boys, all those brothers, it gives you that strength. But the neat thing about it is, is that in DeW, and I think this is what you're doing with Women Connect because the word connect is what I see is so powerful, is that we're supporting each other. It's lifting each other up, cheerleading for each other. Women have a reputation of being bitchy or... I don't know if I'm allowed to say that [crosstalk 00:13:57]

            Anne, you can just be yourself, girl.

            Be myself. Okay. DeW Me. But they can be just rough with other women and just not support them. And it feel like there's this big scarcity mentality that it is not enough for us, but there is. I believe that that is at the core of what you're trying to do. And what I'm trying to do is let it all come together, because together, we're so much stronger. And it goes back to the strengths. I mean, we were talking about that, Kiera, the other day is like, "What you do, I can't do. And when I do, you can't do, but together we can do great things." And the fact that women are overtaking dentistry, look out, guys, here we come. But it's more than 52% this year. Tufts is 62% graduating, the graduating class of females.

            And our teams are female, right? I mean the majority, I mean, 90, I don't even know what the percentage would be, but I would guess 99% of all the teams out there. So, it is really a great profession for women and why we're not all working together, why we're not leading together, and I see it changing a little bit. I don't know if you've noticed this... Well, actually there's a conference coming up. There's only one female speaker in the whole conference and that's still going on. So Summer and I were talking this morning about empowering women. That's important to me. I know that that's important to you, and it's a little bit deeper than that. Isn't it? It's like we have to show them why they want to be empowered.

            Right.

            How they can be empowered? Because so often, and I would speak for myself. I was 42 when I started into the networking arena. And the only reason I went into it was because of the toothpaste and the mouth rinse. So, I mean, I'm a dental geek all the way, but I never realized that I had other things outside of that operatory to give to the profession, until I actually got desperate enough to say, "Yes, I will do this. Or I have to do this." I think sometimes that that's a motivating factor. I mean, as I was saying, Tom came home and said he's going to quit his job and start his own business. And I said, "Great." I was a corporate mom and a hygienist or corporate wife. And I loved being a corporate wife. I'm really good at playing tennis and having lunch, but [inaudible 00:16:25] I really didn't like it. I think back on that time and I'm so thankful sometimes that I had those obstacles in front of me that pushed me to work so hard.

            And like we were saying, I don't want to lose. I want to win. And I think I'm so fortunate that I had some motivating factors other than just, "Oh, I think I'll try this." No, I had to win at what I was doing. And we all have that mindset. And then once you see the fruits of your labor, then it's just easy. You get out of the bed in the morning and you're like, "Okay, I can't wait to get started again on today." I'm sure you probably feel that way when you're going into a dental team and you're working with them or working with your events that you put on.

            Totally. I think there's so many pieces to what you just said, Anne, that for me are hitting home. I think so often we talk about empowering and inspiring other women. And it's like you said, going deeper than that. And for me, I can say on the surface, this is where I'm just going to be real honest Kiera over here. I can say on the surface that I want to inspire and empower other women. And there is a piece of me that sometimes still goes back to what I've been. Customed to living of, there's a jealousy piece. There's a scarcity piece. There's a worry piece. There's a comparison piece.Okay. So I want this doctor to do so well. And it's easy when it's doctor, because I'm like, "I'm not a doctor, guys. I'm just Kiera Dent from the block. It's easy. You guys rock on."

            But when it's a peer that's very similar to me, or I know there have been times even with Summer. We'll be at events and I worry, "Do people like me as much as Summer?" And "Am I bringing enough to the table because I'm not a doctor." And so I really think it's important that... Because I was thinking of like, "Okay, what's the how?" And for me, I think my takeaway from what you had just said is, the how is being around women who have an abundant mindset, being around women who want to be the way you are. Because I think for me, at least, it's a reprogramming of a lot of past beliefs that I've held, that aren't necessarily true, but I'm holding onto them so strong that I believe that they are true.

            And so I was thinking, be around people. Like when I'm at Women Dentists Connect, every ounce of my being is so dang proud of those people. And I don't care if you are better than me, I don't care. Because there is really no better. It's just we're all here together, and we really are supporting each other. But then, it's easy for my mean girl in my mind to say like, "But, Kiera, are you dressed as well as them? And are you doing this as well as them, and how come they can be doing all those things and you're not doing enough." And I think that that's not what this is about. And I think so many women get into this cyclone, so they almost pull back, as opposed to embracing and realizing, "Hold on. I can be me in my own special way."

            And I think this also goes for men. Men, I hope you're listening to this as well. I think that it comes down to what is the pattern belief that we're holding onto, and can we get around other people who maybe don't believe that that can help us challenge it, so we can find that freedom and that beauty and that grace and the excitement, where you genuinely can be cheering other people on, recognizing that by cheering them on. It's literally not taking anything from you. It's just building you up right alongside of them as well. So those are kind of my takeaways, and I'm not sure what your thoughts are on that. That's what I was taking away from what you had said though.

            Yeah. I agree with everything you said. I mean, the mindset of, "Am I enough?", it ebbs and flows in everyone's life, I think. I think I'm almost over that, and a big part of that, and you and I were talking about that with the strengths, because once I realized what my God-given talents were and what I was really good at, and I read it and I soaked it in, and I thought, "I'm good at this." It does give me the armor that I'm like, "You know what, I'm good at this. I'm not good at that. And that's okay." Then I looked at other people and I say, "Well, they have their strengths too." And I really feel like being in the dental office, I mean, I admire anybody that can go all the way through dental school, start the business, have this amazing.

            That is really something. One of the most powerful relationships I've ever had in my life made me a better person, was our sterilization assistant that I worked with side-by-side for probably 15 years, Carolyn. I would imagine she's probably 75 right now. She retired eight, 10 years ago maybe, but she was the most valuable person in our practice. She kept everybody together. She was like our second mom. And I look at that and I think everybody has their own individual strengths. It helps me with my confidence, I think. And I think a lot of women need that, because we do come up against people that... There's always going to be somebody smarter, better looking or dress better, right? I mean, and when we all bring something really cool and really special and unique to every situation and when we love ourselves, then we exude love and can easily love others. I mean, that's another thing is you can easily experience and appreciate other people, I think. So, I don't know if that answered anything, but it just made me think about that.

            Yes. And I'm always big on tactical, Anne, and something tactical that you've just brought up a couple of times, because I'm hearing you say that. I know I was like, "Okay." And how did you gain that confidence of, "This is what I'm really good at." And I know you are a huge fan of StrengthsFinder, correct? That's the one that you love?

            Yes, yes. That's the one.

            Yes. And I loved, Anne, that you told me, because I was like, "Oh, I probably should retake this because these are fine." And you reminded me that usually the first time we take it is probably the most accurate time for us. And so I would say if any of you are kind of looking for that. Anne, you and I had a great, great conversation about this, of taking StrengthsFinder and figuring out your top five strengths and something, Anne, that you've said on our last call that we were on, that really just impressed me was you said to own those strengths and because I... You guys, I remember literally saying this to Anne and I'm like, "Empathy, that's stupid."

            Literally that was one of my strengths. And I'm like, "Empathy is such a weak sauce, dumb trait." But as I've been watching that and looking at that, and you helped me unpackage that so beautifully and helping me. See, I don't like to execute. I only execute because I'm highly competitive, but I'm executing out of competition, not because that's something that I thoroughly enjoy doing. So it really helped me also realize, "Fantastic. I need to hire executors around me," because it's just not something I naturally like to do. And there are people out there that love, love, love, love, love to check off checklists.

            And that's not me. I don't want to. And so, I think for any of you wanting to do this, take the StrengthsFinder. Anne, you were amazing. I also think you, guys, should join Dental Entrepreneur Woman. I think being surrounded by people that have that abundant mindset that are speaking in that way. I love chatting with Anne because I walk off that call every time, and I'm going to do it again today of like, "I love being a girl. And I think it's so fantastic to just be who Kiera is. And I'm just going to own my strengths." Because, Anne, you exude that and you live that. And I can tell that you have owned your places well, and then there isn't as much of that competition. It's a very confident, I hope, while still being humble and then just full of that grace and love for other people. So that would be kind of my takeaway tangible. Anne, do you have anything you want to add to the strengths or how people can kind of just own their zone of strengths even better?

            Well, I think so many people will take the StrengthFinders test, like probably any other personality tests. And then they look at them and they see empathy, and they put it in the drawer. I don't really like these. I've had so many [inaudible 00:24:21] My number one was woo, which is winning others over, which is the downside, the basement of that as being really shallow and people think, "Oh my God, she's just a blonde. And blah-blah-blah." So I really didn't like that. But what I would suggest is if, when you take it or if you decide you want to go back to some of the other personality tests that you've taken that resonated with you, then read that description of you everyday. It's almost like, you look in the mirror and you say, "Who am I not to be gorgeous, talented, fabulous, and brilliant?"

            I mean, well, who are you not to be? Right? You are a child of God and you are supposed to make manifest the glory of God in your life and in what you've been given. So we all... If you're an achiever and you want to get stuff done and you're driven, then you don't want to leave anything. You don't want to leave anything behind, right? When you skid into the end of your life, you say, "Good job, good job. I used everything up." And I think that that is something to be happy about and to be content with is to know that you have been given something that you can build on. And I think that's where confidence comes. And also just no judging for other people because everybody's different. And the funny thing was when Tom took the test, my husband, I was like, "Okay, he's an entrepreneur. Quit asking him to go back to corporate so you can go have lunch and play tennis." He's perfectly an entrepreneur. So I think it helps in relationships too. I really do, knowing yourself and knowing that others have specials gifts.

            I love that so much. So, Anne, if people want to connect with you, which you, guys, everybody should, I mean, you have the male side and you've got the female side. I am so about this mission because personally speaking, this is something I've struggled with for years. Like I said, I literally wanted to be a guy because I saw my brothers. You, guys, I was four years younger than my older brother, but I put on my freshman year of college or freshman year of high school, what my goal was to be valedictorian. You, guys, I didn't really actually care about being valedictorian. It was just because my brother was actually valedictorian. He was a senior and I was a freshman, and so I put it on there because I had to be just as good as him. I cheated on my spelling test in first grade, so that way I'd get a hundred percent like my brother. [inaudible 00:26:39].

            Oh my God, that is-

            I think from someone who grew up that way so much, and also just in my, I think I've seen it with so many women. Get around people that resonate with you. Get around people that think differently than you do and break that cycle that's just a false belief that you've chosen to pick up and believe is true. And it's actually a falsehood. So, Anne, how do people connect with you? How do they find out more about you? How do they attend that awesome retreat that you're having? Give us all the pieces.

            Well, it's perfect timing. We have our website and you can go to check us out at dew.life. L-I-F-E. There's no .com. dew.life. And there's a Join The Movement there. It's actually being released next week. So I'm glad the podcast will be after we get everything up and running again for the membership, and a lot of membership benefits on there. And then also just, if you want to write for us. There's a lot of you out there that have a story to tell, and we want to tell it. That's really important. So dew.life. The retreat is November 11th through the 13th in Charlotte, North Carolina. And we'll have some stuff on there about that. That's when we all get together. We're going to cap it at 200 amazing influencers in dentistry. And if you want to get pumped up, you need to come.

            And if you want to pump others up, you need to come. And then Dental Entrepreneur has dentalentrepreneur.com, and again, write for that as well. Reach out, anything we can do to inspire and really lift up the whole profession. And we all come together. So it's an exciting time to be in dentistry. I think COVID was good for us. In fact, you just step back a little bit and realize we are essential, and that we are important, and that people need their smiles, and people need a healthy mouth and all the things that go along with that for just having a great life.

            I love that. I love that you just circled that all the way back around to COVID, because I thought, you, guys like right now is the time to almost like re-invent yourself. We just came out of COVID. I believe it's a great time. So all those pieces, instead of waiting, DeW life. I love that it's DeW life. That's adorable. So you, guys, connect with Anne. I love that you're wanting people to write. I know there are so many women out there who are probably listening, thinking like, "I don't have much to tell." We want to hear from you.

            You're the person who doesn't think that they have a story who most likely has this story, that 95% of other people will connect and resonate with. So, Anne, I love that so much. You, guys, connect with Anne. Anne, thank you for just taking time. I know you're a very busy woman and I'm excited to write for you, guys. I'm excited to be a part of your movement with you. And thank you just for being somebody who's influenced and inspired me just in the couple of times I've chatted with you. You truly are one of those people that set a mark on my life, and I'm truly grateful to have met you and to have that influence in my life. Thank you.

            You're so welcome. Ditto. And I can't wait to watch your career. You are in the midst of taking off and soaring, so I'll be right behind you and lifting you up. So, thank you so much for having me, Kiera. It was just fun.

            I agree. I agree. Thank you. All right, you, guys, as always thank you for listening, and I'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team podcast.

            And that wraps it up for another episode of the Dental A Team podcast. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll talk to you next time.