Episode 820: Ramp Up Communication to Improve Relationships

 A common thread among Dental A-Team offices right now is a decrease in communication. In this episode, Kiera and Tiff talk about why this is happening so often, and how to bring that openness and trust back into your practice. They give insight on how often different positions should be meeting, the right way to approach difficult conversations, why we should look at our work relationships like the other relationships in our lives, and more.

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Transcript:

Kiera Dent (00:00.802)

Hello, Denly Team listeners, this is Kira, and today feels like an extra special day. I think it's probably been at least six months and this has happened. Spiffy Tiffy and Kira Dent back on the pod today. Tiff, how are you doing?

 

Tiffanie (00:15.113)

Good, six months, I think you might be right. And that makes me so sad inside. I cannot, one, that six months went by that quickly, and two, that it's been that long, obviously.

 

Kiera Dent (00:19.054)

I know.

 

Kiera Dent (00:24.874)

I know, Tiff and I, so Tiff now does podcasting with the consultants, so you guys are hearing her, but Tiff and I are like ships in the night. And I feel like today we can thank Shelby for this. You know, every team has a good person on their team. We have a lot of good people on our team. Shelby's just super observant and awesome. And was like, hey, Kira, you're podcasting. Tiff's free, do you want me to add her? Heck yeah, Tiff, we haven't podcasted for years. I think it feels that long. I mean, I haven't given you a new nickname.

 

Tiffanie (00:45.825)

Hehehehe

 

It does feel that long.

 

Kiera Dent (00:52.33)

and the nicknames have always come on the podcast. So Spiffy Tiffy back today, super happy to have you here. Tiff, tell me like, you've been consulting, I've been consulting, guys, Tiff and I, we're going on seven years working together this year, aren't we? Snap, crackle, pop. That's so long. And you would think that Tiff and I would talk to each other all the time. And I actually feel like as the company's gotten larger, you and I talk to each other less. Would you agree with that?

 

Tiffanie (00:54.849)

That's fair.

 

Tiffanie (00:58.954)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (01:05.889)

Mm-hmm, we are. Yeah, 2024 is seven years. I know.

 

Tiffanie (01:16.605)

Yeah, I think absolutely, I think we talk to each other the least.

 

Kiera Dent (01:21.13)

I would agree. Like we actually have to call each other. You called me last night, which I appreciate. I was like, Hey, how are you? Because I only talked to you about business and you're doing your thing. I'm doing my thing. But I know you've been real busy consulting. I've been consulting. I wanted to dive in because I feel like, and I'm sure you notice this too, when we consult, there are, I would say themes and patterns that just tend to happen consistently with offices. Do you notice that?

 

Tiffanie (01:25.447)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (01:33.918)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (01:45.209)

Oh, for sure. For sure. It's it makes it. This is not bad, but it makes it my job easier, right? Because it's like, there's always a theme and a pattern. And it's like what someone is what someone is going through. Other leaders and other doctors, other teams are going through something super similar, if not the exact same thing. So I'm like, oh my gosh, by the time I get to the second, third, fourth, fifth office or 16th office, I'm like, I know this like the back of my hand at this point. So it is it's really fun, but it's really interesting. And it kind of

 

Kiera Dent (01:51.639)

Is this?

 

Kiera Dent (02:10.606)

Yes.

 

Tiffanie (02:14.429)

It just reminds you that life is so cyclical and it's in everything.

 

Kiera Dent (02:17.898)

Yes, and I also, I didn't think about this until you said that, how similar practices are. I think every practice when they come to us, they're like, oh my gosh, I'm the only office experiencing this. Like, I bet you've never seen that. And I'm like, no, like the last seven calls have been the same topic. So high five, I've already given great advice. Let me just give it to you as well. But helping offices realize like, guys, you're all in this together and it is cyclical and it will end and it will come back up again. I mean, you and I were talking yesterday too. And I said, Tiff.

 

Tiffanie (02:23.988)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (02:31.53)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (02:36.053)

For sure.

 

Kiera Dent (02:47.062)

You asked me how I was doing and I said, I'm sick of hiring. I just, and I said, I had an epiphany on the phone with you of, I think I have to realize that being a business owner means that hiring will always forever be an like undone checkbox. Like I will forever be hiring, will forever be adding people and realizing that, I think that we have to realize that so many things that we might check off the box, check off and do this thing.

 

Tiffanie (02:49.733)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (03:10.002)

will come back around and that's normal and that's good and it doesn't mean you're failing. So I'm glad you brought that up. Another aha epiphany, but let's epiphany from Tiffany. There you go. That's a goodie. I'm telling you that this is where all of them come out. But, Tiff, let's talk about what are some of the patterns and themes you've been seeing in the practices. I'm sure I've seen them too, but guys, like I think this is fun. It's kind of like office

 

Tiffanie (03:18.829)

Ooh, I like that. It is the podcast.

 

Kiera Dent (03:36.062)

but like as a collaboration of so many offices. And let's just see what are some of the themes and different pieces that have been consistent with all your offices lately.

 

Tiffanie (03:44.861)

Yeah, I think, well, I think one of the biggest themes, right, we're coming up, we're in the new year. And so going to the end of the year into the new year, obviously, something is always one of the big things is always goals, right. So goals, setting them, like, did we meet them, but really coming up with new, new ways to meet new goals and really new goals to set. And part of that, that I saw the last quarter, and then this first quarter is really

 

Kiera Dent (03:58.46)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (04:13.393)

I see a lot of business owners, a lot of practice owners, a lot of entrepreneurs really looking for that next level in their team and their practice in general. So being able to tie those into the financial goals and things that can be measured is always a big piece. But one of the themes that I've recognized really recently is a theme of trust within practices and especially within leadership.

 

Tiffanie (04:42.761)

trust factor there, you're not you can't move forward. I had a doctor. Actually, you were there, Karen, you were the one that was like, Why are we still doing this? Like, why is why are you still doing this? Right? And I'm pushing along because I'm like, this girl could be a really great manager with the right resources, right? But has she been given the right resources? And finally, you were you know, you were chatting with him, we were all chatting, and we were in the same room. And he's like, you know, tiff, like, I just don't trust her.

 

And at that point I was like, that's the bottom line. That's it. It's trust. It's not that she's not doing a good job. It's not that she's not managing the team or hitting goals or doing anything. She could do everything right. But the fact that you don't trust her, that's the problem. And so we moved on and I was like, well, I said, do you feel like the trust could be repaired? And when he said no, I said, well, then that's your answer. It's time to move on. But I feel like that's super common.

 

Kiera Dent (05:14.919)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (05:28.184)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (05:37.745)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (05:40.101)

And I've been seeing it a lot and I've been seeing it a lot with office managers where they're like, gosh, like, I can't do this anymore. I'm stressed out. I'm burnt out. I'm tired. And I'm like, why? I'm like racking my brain. Like we've been doing everything the same. What's changed and what's changed is in the moment of busy. I think that we tend to distract ourselves with work and we lose that relationship.

 

Kiera Dent (06:02.624)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (06:04.745)

that we once had with someone else. Even if it's someone you're sitting right next to every day, you start to get that separation. And really what happens is your reality of the situation changes. You each share a reality in one moment, and then you have different realities in a second moment. And when that reality is different, when you don't share a common reality in a situation, there becomes separation.

 

So communication starts to dwindle, we get busy, we stop communicating as much. Like Kira, you and I, we hardly talk, right? We really hardly talk. And so if we break that down, right? And we look at that, like what comes out of that is that when something does happen, when something is upset, you and I both on separate sides of states will be like, what does she mean by that? What really does this look like? And I think they're doing that in practices too.

 

Kiera Dent (06:37.279)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (06:55.061)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (06:59.981)

I see this all the time. So our communication, we get busy, our communication starts to become less frequent because we just don't have the time or the need sometimes. I don't need to always communicate. So office managers and doctors, the leaders of the practice, they stop communicating as much. And then I hear practice administrators telling me, I can't do any more meetings. And I'm like, you have to do these meetings because this is your FaceTime, this is your communication and how you're building that relationship. And when the communication,

 

starts to decrease, the affinity for one another actually starts to decrease as well because we move further and further and further and further apart. And then that shared reality that we once had also shifts and changes. And now we're making up stories in our head and we're like, is this where I want to be? Is this where I need to be? And I feel like towards the end of the year, last year, that's a huge theme that I saw.

 

Kiera Dent (07:46.612)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (07:57.417)

within leadership teams in general is just exhaustion. And we push so hard to finish out the year and we push so hard to meet goals and to make each other proud and to make ourselves proud and we get lost in that shuffle and we don't communicate it always to one another. So within my practices, I had a lot, I saw a lot of practices last year in general, but really the last six months of the year, I saw quite a few practices and most of them

 

or within leadership development. And most of them, it was me preaching to them, just ramp up your communication. If you just communicate more, your relationship will start to mend. And I think that goes with any relationship, but the biggest one I see in practices is an office manager and a doctor. And when a doctor starts second guessing, an office manager's intentions or their abilities.

 

their capabilities, their time management. When a doctor starts questioning those things and doesn't have the conversation with the manager, that's when things start to really get shuffled and shake out. And that's when I've got office managers calling me like, what is going on? I'm like, well, you just need to schedule a meeting.

 

Kiera Dent (09:00.779)

Hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (09:08.434)

Yeah, well, you know, and I think like, okay, so I'm going to ask questions. There were so many pieces you brought up on that. And I think, I don't know, I think we as human beings think that sometimes communication and meetings feel like we already do this. We're sitting next to each other, but it's the intentional conversations. It's the intentional, let's hash this out. Let's build that trust. So my question to you, Tiff is agreed. And I'll just kind of air mine and chips like dirty laundry. We tend to do this often and always in a respectful way.

 

Tiffanie (09:35.764)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (09:37.942)

But I think Tiff and I even got to that level of, like you said, we're on opposite states and when you don't know what's going on and you haven't communicated or you haven't, and again, it's not, I think it happens so subtly. It's like lack of communication by degrees. I mean, we were talking, we deal with the business. I almost think it might be like parents where they're so committed with the children that their relationship starts to crumble even though they're incredible parents. So you could be amazing dentist and an amazing office manager but the dynamic leadership duo

 

Tiffanie (09:57.546)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (10:01.455)

share.

 

Kiera Dent (10:07.842)

could be deteriorating and you don't even realize it's happening. And so what do you do Tiff in those instances? I know what we've done, I know what we do in our company, but what do you coach these offices on? And I love like before we started the podcast, you mentioned how when people trust each other, that's when growth can happen. But when we don't, it feels stagnation, it feels hard, it feels like things aren't moving forward. But really it's about trust, which is about communication. So how do you bridge that gap? How do you-

 

Tiffanie (10:10.415)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (10:16.629)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (10:25.706)

Hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (10:34.986)

start to repair that because I mean, I think about that doctor who said, I just don't trust them. And the bottom line was that person could have been a great office manager. It was just wrong person, wrong seat. But I always question like, these are Kira's deep inner thoughts of, was that like because of the situation or was it because they really weren't a fit? Like, right? Like, is it like the chicken or the egg? Like, did this happen because they didn't communicate?

 

Tiffanie (10:55.599)

Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (11:02.11)

or was it they just weren't a fit from the get-go? And of course, there's probably no way to find out, but I think about that often, because I actually think more people could fit better together, we just aren't willing to get that trust. So how do you coach people to getting more trust in their relationships?

 

Tiffanie (11:16.201)

Totally agree. Yeah, yeah, well, I think I love your parent example because I think that's like so, it's so easy to relate to whether you're a parent or not. You've seen that dynamic. You've literally lived that dynamic. You've at least been a child, right? And so you've seen it. So it's so easy to relate to that. And I tell my practices all the time, relationships are relationships. They just look a little different depending on who you're relationshiping with.

 

Kiera Dent (11:26.966)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (11:42.721)

But a relationship is the freaking same. And if we just treated them the same and poured ourselves into relationships, the same but different, if that makes sense, things would work out so much easier. And you know, in my life, I want the easiest path possible. No matter what, I want the easiest path possible. So for me, if I'm coaching a practice on this, I love that example because I think you need to date night. Right?

 

Kiera Dent (11:42.784)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (11:53.665)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (11:59.215)

Yes.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (12:10.309)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (12:11.837)

Parents, you start to separate and then you start thinking, what is he doing? Is he really at work that late? Like, who's this person calling him? Is that really a work call? Where'd that trash in his car come from? You start questioning everything, right? It's the same thing. So when you're a doctor and a manager and you start communicating less and less and less, you start questioning everything. Did she really do that thing she said she was going to do? Is it the level of my expectation? Did she?

 

Kiera Dent (12:34.615)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (12:40.249)

tell the team member that thing. Is she even reprimanding anyone? Like you start questioning all of those things. So for parents who are so invested in their kids and their work lives and they start separating, a therapist would say, go on date nights, schedule a date night every week, at least once a month, but every week would be ideal, right? Until we at least get back on track. You need one-on-one alone time to just communicate. You need to hash out hard conversations. You need to get back to the two of you.

 

Kiera Dent (12:55.56)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (13:08.401)

And for an office manager and a doctor, it's not that different. You have to schedule meetings. I think a doctor and an office manager should be meeting at least once a week for at least 30 minutes to just review what the practice looks like. What happened this week? What's going well? What's not going well? What expectations were met? What weren't met? And when you're in that phase of separation, when the trust isn't there, you know when that's there, because you start feeling it in your body right away.

 

Kiera Dent (13:11.214)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (13:36.565)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (13:37.577)

So when that trust starts separating, that's the time to say the thing. That's the time to be like, hey, I think something's going on because I'm starting to question everything you do and I don't wanna live in that space, I don't want us to live in that space, we need to communicate and get on the same page. What if you did that in every relationship that you have? When you started feeling that separation, what if your husband, your wife, your whatever at home.

 

Kiera Dent (13:53.9)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (14:04.145)

You start feeling that separation and you look at that person and you say, you know what, honey, I want better for us. I want us to thrive. I want us to not only survive, but have the best lives possible. And I feel like I'm separating from you. I feel like there's a distance between us and I, we need to bridge that gap. I, we need to sit down time, me and you, we need to fix this. Like it would just would make life so much easier, but we don't face those things head on because we are so afraid.

 

Kiera Dent (14:21.154)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (14:25.035)

Yep.

 

Kiera Dent (14:29.122)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (14:33.001)

that what we think is wrong could be true. We are so scared that they're not doing the thing that we asked them to, that they're not the right fit of an office manager, and we chose them, and we poured so much into them, and what am I gonna do? How am I gonna rehire? Am I gonna have to pay more? Am I gonna have to do all of these things? Instead of just facing head on that something could be fixed there, we are so afraid that our biggest fear is true.

 

Kiera Dent (14:36.142)

correct.

 

Tiffanie (14:59.721)

we keep running from that and distance ourselves further and further and further until we prove ourselves right, and they either quit or we have to fire them because it's just not working. And my question would be, who knows, it's the chicken or the egg, right? But can you say at the end of the day, when that person leaves or you let them go, that you poured everything you had into that relationship to make it work? Or are you walking away?

 

Kiera Dent (15:09.55)

Correct.

 

Kiera Dent (15:14.396)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (15:28.393)

saying my fears were correct. I didn't face them. I didn't talk about them, but I knew they were there. My intuition was right. And I'm so glad it finally shook out. Is that what you're saying? Or are you saying, I'm so glad we had these hard conversations because even though this isn't working out, we're leaving on fantastic terms because of those conversations that we had.

 

Kiera Dent (15:40.604)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (15:51.542)

Totally. And as you said that, I think like so many truth bombs were dropped there and I hope people were listening and they picked up on them and they heard that because I think so often we prove ourselves right when it wasn't actually right. I think we so often are like, well, yep, that just didn't work out like I knew. When am I? No, you just didn't want to have the conversation. And Tiff, I love that you said that we're afraid to have the conversation because we're afraid that we're going to prove it right. Well, why not rip that bandaid and get a better-

 

habit of we rip the band-aid sooner. So if it's not working, like at the end of the day, if it's not working, it's either gonna end now or it's gonna end in six months and you're gonna save yourself a lot of pain, heartache and sorrow if we end it now as opposed to waiting six months longer or we can fix it now and move on and make it better. And I think it just comes to like being committed and opening and saying that. I mean, Tiff, you and I have talked about this. Like I brought up the fact that we've worked together for seven years and it's crazy because I, I mean, I think I also, this is something I would say, be careful of.

 

Don't get so comfortable with the people you've worked with as well, thinking that you're rock solid and that nothing can ever happen. Because I think that that's when we become complacent. We think like, oh, no, I know Tiff got it. Like, we've been together for so long. There's nothing that can rock it. And I think that that's actually where we get sloppy. And that's where things can start to go awry if we're not careful. And so it just really brings back like the five dysfunctions of a team. And the bottom one is trust. And I also think like not gossiping to other people. Jason and I were actually talking yesterday.

 

And he said, Kira, how often do we make what we think become a reality? Because we start treating that person that way and we stop trusting them and we stop sharing with them and we start to pull back ourselves. And so we make this become a reality versus like, Hey, let's just chat about it. But I think both people have to come to the table committed that they want this to work and they want what's best. And like you said, I want better for us. And I think when both people are there, cause you can tell when it's genuine and when it's not.

 

It really does flourish, but I think dentists and doctors and owners, yes, OMS, you can do it as well. I'm not saying it's just one sided, but I think doctors take that on. Like for me, I just refuse. It started out because we had a virtual company and I'm like, I can't handle drama, like multiple States away when I don't really know what's going on. It has to always be this very open communication. And I think that that's translated over the years. But what I think it really is, is I'm just not willing to sit in a company where I walk on eggshells. I don't want it to be where, and I'm like, we get off of.

 

Kiera Dent (18:17.358)

call and I don't have to know what's really going on, but you can still feel it. So don't disillusion yourself into thinking like, well, what they said, like we can feel things, but make sure it's really true. And if you have that awkward feeling, like Tiff said, have the conversation, communicate more, have the quote unquote office manager, doctor. It's not a date night. We're not going that weird, but set meetings to where you do communicate. It's set meetings where we're same team. Like we're headed for the same results. How can I support you and how can I show it better for you? How can

 

Tiffanie (18:20.937)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (18:35.645)

Hehehehehehe

 

Kiera Dent (18:45.206)

Like what can I change to make your life easier? And I would say on both sides, you really have to listen and implement because if they're willing to share that, you've got to also be willing to change and morph and not be offended. And I think that's something Tiff, you and I have done an excellent job but it will have to credit us. Just over the years, because we were so committed that like, hey, if you tell me something that hurts my feelings.

 

Tiffanie (19:00.821)

Hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (19:06.086)

I know you didn't do it to hurt my feelings. I know you genuinely see me as a person. You see where I'm going. You have the best intentions at heart. And if I don't listen to you, I'm being a downright fool. And I think like when you can get that type of relationships within your leadership team, the whole rest of your team feels it and they'll move. Just like back to the parents and the children. Children can feel when their parents are off. I knew when my parents were off, like I could tell that. Your team can feel when the doctor and office manager.

 

Tiffanie (19:16.436)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (19:23.625)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (19:32.978)

and the leadership team is off. You can feel it, it's awkward, it's eggshells, it does not feel good and your results are hard to hit. But when it's fluid and there is trust, things move very easily.

 

Tiffanie (19:44.905)

For sure, I totally agree. And I think, as you're talking, there are so many things that are coming up. But I think one of the pieces that I held onto there is you saying that both parties have to come to the table willing to do it. And I totally agree. I think moving past something, you both have to be willing to put the work into it with any relationship. But I think the fear.

 

I think a lot of people, and I've done this in personal relationships and business relationships, like the fear of not knowing how they were going to respond, are they going to work on it with me? And is it just going to be me? Can tend to hold me back too. So I think just going in courageously and saying, no matter what, at the end of the day, when I walk away from this, I have to be able to say that I gave it my all. So I think you have to decide what is your all? What does that look like? Yeah, exactly.

 

Kiera Dent (20:33.11)

And I would say, Tiff, like it's your true all. It's not a facade of an all. Please don't lie to yourself to make yourself feel better.

 

Tiffanie (20:40.669)

Absolutely. Like what does all mean to you? Like what is it for me? Like I have to know from the bottom of my heart that I poured everything that I have into it. That I said everything I needed to say. I looked for solutions. I tried my hardest to mend what felt broken. And if that person, if you meet that person on the other side, you come to them and you're like, hey, like we got to talk about this. They're like, why? Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Okay. I feel.

 

Kiera Dent (20:59.406)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (21:10.594)

Hmm

 

Tiffanie (21:11.085)

Like I'm not being my true self with you. And I don't I don't know how to fix that right now. I'm wondering if we can communicate through that. When you come in humble enough to be like, I think this is a me thing. I'm totally on board with this being something that I'm creating. I just need to ensure that and I need to see how we're going to get through it together. It's much harder for the other person to get to get defensive, right for them to be offended.

 

Kiera Dent (21:35.541)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (21:36.617)

When you come in, like, hey, the way you've been talking to me has been a little bratty and it's making me feel like I'm so far from you, probably not going to get too far, right? Like, they're probably going to be like, okay, great, right? You're not going to get real far. So if you come in and you're just like, hey, like, I think my communication has been off. I think there are things like I said this to you last night, Kira, I said, I think I haven't given you everything that's in my brain. Like sometimes I hold on to things.

 

Kiera Dent (21:43.521)

Mmm... Ha!

 

Kiera Dent (22:01.739)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (22:04.141)

not even realizing that they need to be said or that I didn't say them. Right. And I said that last night, like, I think there are things that you're unaware of that have happened or not happened that I need to bring awareness to. And it eased your mind just in that moment of me sharing those things. And I think that's the key is being able to see

 

Kiera Dent (22:08.128)

Right.

 

Tiffanie (22:27.153)

What can you do differently? What have you done that has created the situation or added to it, rather than sitting in the seat of this is happening to me? They're doing it to me. They're not good enough. They're not communicating. Like, well, guess what? It takes two to be in a relationship, no matter what the relationship is, business or personal. So what can you take out of it that you've done that you can then offer mending solutions for?

 

So then I would say, right seat, right person, right? That's your ultimate question. And so if you can say, I did these things and I'm still not getting the results that I want, I've asked multiple times, I've offered solutions, I've asked them to work through it with me, you can literally say, I have poured everything into this relationship and it's still not working, I think they're just not the right fit.

 

Kiera Dent (23:00.302)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (23:19.541)

then walk away. I would never tell someone who's out in the dating world to be like, just push through a little bit more when they're like, no, this really isn't for me, right? I would never be like, just try one more time. Like if you feel like you've explored all of the options and you've done your due diligence, whatever that looks like for you, that's when you know the answer. It's either going to work or it's not working. And if you can push through those hard conversations, those difficult pieces, you can be humble enough.

 

Kiera Dent (23:24.986)

Right.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (23:48.173)

to grow through it with another person, that's when the trust comes. Because now you've told that person, hey, you can trust that I know I'm not perfect, that I'm growing, that I'm learning, that I'm a leader, and that I will lead by example. You can trust that I will always talk to you, that I will always be here with you by your side, and that we will do this together. And that I think is ultimate trust.

 

Kiera Dent (24:14.752)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (24:17.085)

Right? Because then when things go askew, they're like, Oh, that's weird. Like, how can I help you with that? Instead of being like there she goes again, right? It's more like, well, it's odd. I wonder why that happened. Let me help you.

 

Kiera Dent (24:22.161)

Mm-hmm.

 

Right.

 

Kiera Dent (24:29.546)

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just think, I think we don't realize how much our working relationships are relationships and how much all the things that we put into our marriages and to our relationships outside of work are also a breeding ground for at work too. They are relationships. They don't have to be romantic relationships, but we have relationships with our kids, with our parents. And I just think like...

 

Tiffanie (24:38.042)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (24:54.562)

How much greater would our lives be if we had this type of communication with all the people in our lives? How much better would it be if we had this much trust? And I think once you do it more, you realize that the fears that you have usually don't come true. And if they do, like you said, you end on really good terms. I don't think relationships ending are always the worst thing that can happen. I think the worst thing that can happen is that you guys sit there in a boat without talking to each other and you're both on awkward eggshells and you're not even working towards the same goals and it just feels yucky.

 

Tiffanie (25:14.294)

For sure.

 

Tiffanie (25:21.153)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (25:24.162)

To me, that's more of a hell than breaking up and moving on. Like, so why not commit to that? But I think if you're noticing you don't have that trust, number one, I would say check your mindset and can you ever mend that trust? And if not, you owe it to the other person to have that conversation and put them in a different seat because it's not fair for either person. And then I want you to really take a huge assessment and see how did I get to this place and what am I going to do differently next time? And I think...

 

Tiffanie (25:27.178)

Absolutely.

 

Kiera Dent (25:52.706)

To me, the thing I've learned the most is have the conversation sooner than you think you need to have them. Don't just wait for it to shake out. It doesn't hurt to say, hey, I just feel off. Is this a me thing or do we both feel this way? Because I'd rather solve it and be able to move on. And both of you commit that you're always going to tell the truth. I really do think that dynamic leadership teams come from excellent trust. And you've got to have it to where I think about, right now we're reading extreme ownership and...

 

those Navy SEALs have each other's back and they have to know that they're going to protect them through battle and that they're going to be there. And I'm like, do I have that much trust with my leadership team that they would take a bullet for me, that they would watch me going through it, that I would watch their back in a life or death situation because I think we can also equate that to work. That no, it's not life or death per se physically, but it can be life or death of relationships and of a team. Very, very, very non-physically. So Tiff, I just love that. I love that you brought that up. And I'm grateful to hear that.

 

Tiffanie (26:34.919)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (26:40.094)

Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (26:47.246)

It's not just one office. Multiple offices deal with this. So if you're in that boat, sometimes a third party, just like a marriage therapist can help. Sometimes having an outside source, like it was Tiffany like going through it and I was like, what the heck, you guys are still working on this? Like, whoa, as an outsider, you've been going down this path for a long time to just then have the honest conversations to ask. And sometimes consultants not being in your practice can help you feel safe to say what you really feel because we have no like.

 

Tiffanie (26:49.705)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (27:00.605)

Yeah

 

Kiera Dent (27:14.39)

We're not in the team. We're not gonna go gossip to your team members. We're not gonna say anything about you. And we can be that sounding board of, yeah, you're spot on and this is what needs to happen, or this is how we can fix it. Let's mend that. So Tiff, I just appreciate you. I appreciate one, you and my life that we're willing to do that. Cause I think it's fun to, I hate podcasting or listening to podcasts that aren't real. Like I hope that like you always could peel back the thing and Tiff and I will tell you, this is where we are. This is what it is. Like always, always being upfront. And the fact that you and I are willing to work on it, I think...

 

Tiffanie (27:34.037)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (27:43.522)

helps people see this is how we resolved it, this is how we've worked on it. It doesn't come easy. Like I still remember, gosh, I think it was two years ago now, you and I were doing a podcast and I like put you on the spot and people were like, how could you do that to Tiff? And you're like, listen, we've been together for so long. I know she'll never put me in a spot that's going to ever embarrass me. That's trust where it's like I said, that free fall. Like if I were to put my hand out, well, I know that Tiff will always grab it, protect me, take care of me and vice versa.

 

Tiffanie (27:47.446)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (27:58.545)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (28:09.174)

And then you just keep never taking that for granted and becoming complacent because it can slip away if you're not careful. Feel like it needs to constantly be fed and nurtured. So, Chip, thanks for being on today. Thanks for the combos. Any last thoughts you have to wrap up today?

 

Tiffanie (28:15.292)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (28:21.965)

Oh my gosh, I just challenge everyone to take a really hard look at your relationships and what you're contributing to your relationships. Like, what are you, what value are you adding for the other person, whether it's business or personal? What value are you bringing? Because I think that's a good space to also say like, oh, freaking rock star, like, I killed it. This is really cool, what I can contribute to this relationship. Then it's also a space to realize that maybe you could contribute a little bit.

 

Kiera Dent (28:37.102)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (28:43.336)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (28:50.538)

Agreed. And if we can ever help reach out, hello at thedentallyteam.com. Tiff adore you that, you know, all the pieces and for all of you listening. Thank you all for listening. And we'll catch you next time on The Dental Team podcast.

 

Tiffanie (28:56.597)

Thank you.