Episode 641: How to Have a Great Relationship + a Successful Career

The elusive Jason Dent, Kiera’s husband, is on the podcast! In this Valentine’s Day special, Jason and Kiera talk about their experience in keeping both their relationship and business lives successful — and respectful. They discuss understanding each other’s needs, what it takes to become a raving fan of your partner or spouse, how the workplace can benefit from positive relationships, and a lot more.

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Transcript:

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0:00:05.8 Kiera Dent: Hey everyone, welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast. I'm your host, Kiera Dent, and I had this crazy idea that maybe I could combine a doctor and a team member's perspective. Because let's face it, dentistry can be a challenging profession with those two perspectives. I've been a dental assistant, treatment coordinator, scheduler, filler, office manager, regional manager, practice owner, and I have a team of traveling consultants, where we have traveled to over 165 different offices, coaching teams. Yep, we don't just understand you, we are you. Our mission is to positively impact the world of dental, and I believe that this podcast is the greatest way I can help elevate teams, grow VIP experiences, reduce stress, and create A teams. Welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast.

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0:00:51.8 KD: Hello, Dental A Team listeners. This is Kiera. And you guys, oh my gosh, I actually have my husband, Jason Dent, here today with me. Jace, how you doing?

0:01:00.7 Jason Dent: [chuckle] Good. I... Getting a little bit nervous as the time got closer to this though.

0:01:03.3 KD: You shouldn't get nervous. You truly are the elusive Jason Dent, guys. Jace has... But we've been married, gosh, how long?

0:01:11.1 JD: Don't quiz me. [chuckle]

0:01:12.0 KD: I'm quizzing you on the live podcast.

0:01:13.9 JD: 11 years.

0:01:14.8 KD: 11 years, this is true. In this year, it will be 12 years in October, and we just celebrated 13 years from our first date which was a pretty monumental moment because Jace and I actually met on a blind date. True story.

0:01:26.9 JD: Yeah.

0:01:27.1 KD: And I am older than you.

0:01:28.8 JD: Yeah, that was almost a kicker actually, but you survived that quiz pretty good when we first met. And I found out you're older than me, and we were getting on the car and I was like, should we just call it and be like...

0:01:38.8 KD: Yeah, we both felt like we maybe should, and then we laughed and then took off to dinner, but...

0:01:44.0 JD: And you wanted a free meal.

0:01:46.0 KD: I did want a free meal.

0:01:46.6 JD: There was no going back by then.

0:01:47.3 KD: I mean, guys, when you've been engaged twice... Jace, tell them what you told me at dinner. So Jace and I, we had never met each other before.

0:01:53.4 JD: But I already knew she'd been engaged twice.

0:01:56.0 KD: Don't say it. It's not appropriate for podcasting. [laughter]

0:02:00.4 JD: Oh, okay.

0:02:00.4 KD: And so he had already known I was engaged twice, true story. The guy I was working for, it was actually at an oil... It was weird, my brother is a geophysicist, and I was working at this place. Jason had built the lawyer's house for them, his family owns a custom home construction company, and so the guy asked Jason how he felt about someone who had been engaged multiple times is a more politically correct way to say it. So Jace knew it had happened.

0:02:24.0 JD: I didn't care.

0:02:24.6 KD: So we were on a blind date and we went to dinner, and Jace, tell them what you told me when you found out that I had been engaged two other times.

0:02:33.7 JD: Oh, yeah. That's what I was gonna say earlier.

0:02:35.9 KD: Okay.

0:02:36.6 JD: Yeah, when you stopped me. So I was like, well, two times, right? You've been engaged, so one time could happen to anybody, two is fishy, but I mean, there's a lot of stress on three, 'cause if it's three, there's something thing wrong with you.

0:02:46.7 KD: So Jace told me, he's like, you have got to get married on number three, otherwise something's wrong with you. So there was no pressure. I truly did not think that we would get married, did you?

0:02:55.3 JD: No, this is just a blind date, dude.

0:02:58.4 KD: So Jace, he put me on a pretty hard test on our first date because I actually... I had been set up quite a bit, people feel sorry for you when you are disengaged, is what I call it.

0:03:08.4 JD: Disengaged.

[chuckle]

0:03:09.4 KD: And so they felt really bad, I think, so I got set up quite a bit. So what I found was a way... 'Cause I don't know who's the blind date person and blind date people can have a reputation for being a little odd. I think you might know that too, that's why blind dates have a bad reputation.

0:03:26.2 JD: Yeah, and that you're set up as you're living with your grandma at the time.

0:03:29.2 KD: Yeah, she's not even my real grandma.

0:03:31.1 JD: I know.

0:03:32.3 KD: She was my adopted grandma, so that was also another fun fact to the piece. So there was a lot of pieces, but I had actually texted Jason and I said, "Tell me five random facts about you. I surely throw out my height." You guys, I'm five feet, eight inches, and I'm okay with a shorter guy than me, however, I definitely was hoping for someone a little taller than me. Jace definitely did not meet the cut off that I had always hoped for. My family is all very tall.

0:03:53.7 JD: I'm five feet 10 inches, but I'm coming up to 6 foot if I put socks inside my shoes.

0:03:57.8 KD: Yeah. Sometimes when I wear real tall heels, I'm like, Jay, you better where your tall heels today because I am real tall. But it was something... And Jason, I knew he had a good sense of humor when we met, because Jason told me that he just made a really funny joke in his five facts about him, I think it was that you love Justin Bieber.

0:04:14.5 JD: Which is not false. I really like Justin Bieber actually. He's got some great music.

0:04:19.8 KD: But Jason I... Jace is truly the person behind Dental A team Podcast, behind me, he's been my biggest fan, my biggest supporter, and so I thought for Valentine's Day, the Day of love, Jason knows I'm totally like a quirky person and I love holidays.

0:04:34.2 JD: You do, and you are a very sappy, a hopeless romantic. Which is great. Which is good. So Valentines Day, I had red wraps all that.

0:04:42.2 KD: Jason, when we first got married, thought it'd be really funny to pretend like he forgot my birthday.

0:04:47.6 JD: We shouldn't go over this.

0:04:50.3 KD: And so when that happened... And if you don't know me, my birthday is like an entire month-long celebration, my mom, it was like full-blown experience of a lifetime, every person's birthday and Jason's for his family it was what? Dr. Pepper and a pack of gum, if you're lucky.

0:05:06.4 JD: Yeah. No, that was great.

0:05:08.1 KD: Maybe on the day of or the month of.

0:05:10.6 JD: Just a difference in families is all. With my family we'd be eating dinner and my mom would be like, "Hey, I remember it's your birthday, so I got you pack of Dr. Pepper and some gum," and that's fantastic. I didn't expect anything more. I didn't realize with Kiera's family birthdays are close to a national holiday.

0:05:25.1 KD: It surely is. There's no...

0:05:26.9 JD: There's a lot of stress.

0:05:28.9 KD: So there have been some growing pains, there have been some learning, but I figured for Valentine's Day, I am a sappy, hopeless romantic, I definitely love watching The Vow, The Notebook, you name it, those are all the ones. But I thought with Jason, one, it'd be really fun to get him on the podcast since he's never been a guest, but secondly, Jace and I were actually talking about how can you have a relationship and a business? Or for team members, how can you have a relationship and a successful career or job? And so Jace and I decided we'd kinda dive into that, share a little bit about us. Truly grateful Jace is on the podcast, but Jace, let's kind of dive into it because I don't know what it's like to be the spouse of a business owner. I have no idea what that even feels like, how that is, 'cause I'm sure there are times that I am so engrossed in my work that I forget about you truthfully, and I'm just curious if like, do you have any thoughts, do you have any tips, ways that maybe I could be a better spouse or any thoughts you've got around this spouse of...

0:06:20.0 JD: I don't know about ways for you to be a better spouse, but I think for me, it kinda helps that I'm okay being alone a lot. No offense, right?

0:06:26.5 KD: That's fair.

0:06:26.9 JD: With your business, you're used to fly a lot, you hit all 50 states in one year, you're on your computer till 9 o'clock at night on a good day, right? So things...

[laughter]

0:06:35.3 KD: It's gotten better.

0:06:36.6 JD: It has gotten better, but you're always tightened to those kinds of things. So for me, I think it what's really important for me was to just have things that I wanted to do, some YouTube shorts are really fun to watch, do things for my own self-improvement, move myself professionally forward as well, so not always expecting you to be there all the time, but I think what's helped a lot is that we have set aside time for each other that... Like Sundays, you don't work on Sundays, which is really, really great, and I don't either. So we just have that time together, and I think that's it. Other than that, I don't think there's a silver bullet or one magic answer for all of it.

0:07:10.9 KD: For sure, and I appreciate that because I do know that the business can demand a lot of time, it can demand a lot of physical, mental, emotional energy that I know even when I'm on the road, Jace, you told me a while ago that you said, "Kiera, I don't care if it's just like one or two minutes of where it's truly dedicated time rather than trying to talk to you while I'm answering 100 different emails."

0:07:32.9 JD: Yeah. Things are coming through your phone all the time, and I'm sure it's really easy just to have the phone go off and you pick it up right then. We would be talking and then all of a sudden we get interrupted and that kind of got old, so I just really asked for just 10 minutes where you don't pick up your phone, because as you know, anybody who picks up their phone while they're talking to you, they're gone, they're not listening to you, they're not talking to you, there's just kind of placating you. It means nothing, but that's my needs, I don't think that's what everybody wants or everybody needs.

0:07:58.1 KD: Sure.

0:07:58.6 JD: But for me, I just needed that dedicated time, get it in, be done. And I was good.

0:08:02.7 KD: Yeah, and I think that that's actually something that I've been thinking a lot of is a piece to this of how to have a relationship and how to have a business or a career is, number one, I think you need to know what your needs are. And Jason and I went to a really awesome event. I took Jace to his first Tony Robbins event.

0:08:20.1 JD: Yeah, it was great.

0:08:22.2 KD: It was a really last minute ditch effort, if you know our engagement, Jason was like, "Listen, this happened one time, two times, I'm not gonna be the third time," so we got engaged to married in six weeks. Don't worry guys, I'd already planned two other weddings, it was pretty fast for me.

0:08:35.6 JD: Actually, I don't mean to play it down, but I think weddings are really easy to do if you don't over think it. Six weeks is not bad.

0:08:40.9 KD: That's valid.

0:08:41.8 JD: I think it was the best way to do it.

0:08:43.0 KD: And that's also a man speaking versus a woman speaking.

0:08:44.2 JD: I know. Go on. And tangent, go on.

0:08:44.6 KD: But it's fine. So based on that, and our engagement being very short, you can only imagine when I joined Tony Robbins, signed up at I think 9:00 or 10 o'clock at night, and we were flying out the next morning at 6:000 AM to go to the event. So that was a really exciting time, but when we were there. I think the piece that I really picked out of it that I hope is a tangible of how to have that relationship be successful, and Jace and I have our fair share of non-successful. Jace and I... I hope this isn't too much to share, especially with you sitting next to me, we did have divorce papers drafted and on the line. There was a time that we were separated and so... Well, yes, we're cute and fun on the screen right now. I think that every marriage goes through hardships, and I feel grateful that we were able to work through that, but I know a lot of marriages don't make it through that, but I...

0:09:29.8 JD: I think it's important to share that we know what's going on behind the screen. I feel like you see a lot of couples being completely surface depth, you know what I mean? And I don't know of any relationship that hasn't had something that's been really hard, and I think that's what makes it a relationship.

0:09:43.9 KD: Right, exactly. So with that, I feel one of the biggest takeaways that I took from that event was to make your spouse a raving fan and... So back to what Jason needs, what I need, I felt that something I really learned and really grasped from it was the fact that I needed to pay attention to Jason's needs. So if Jason's needs are that he wants uninterrupted dedicated time, even five or 10 minutes a day, how can I make Jason a raving fan? And I think in our businesses and our practices, we are obsessed with having our patients be raving fans leaving as Google reviews, but if right now I were to ask you if your spouse or your partner or your best friend or your parents, whomever your closest relationship is, if they were rating you on a one to five Google review right now of how good you who are, what would that rating be? And I'm not gonna put you on the spot, Jace, nor do I want you to put me on the spot. [laughter]

0:10:37.2 JD: It did look like you had a question and looked at me.

0:10:40.1 KD: I could.

0:10:42.1 JD: Which I'm fine to answer.

0:10:43.4 KD: We could do a live here, but I just would think of that, posing that question, and I know for a while, Jace would probably have given me a half a star. True, full transparency. I was not a good spouse, I didn't care about you.

0:10:52.1 JD: Yeah. Both of us though. Both of us have been in the bucket, so don't feel like it's just one way.

0:10:55.5 KD: So I really think it's a good idea for you guys to question what's happening, what is your relationship, how are you guys actually interacting and then how can you make each other raving fans? So Jace and I actually made a vision board together where we put his goals, my goals, and then the biggest thing that I put on mine was make Jason a raving fan. And sometimes I don't want to be... [laughter]

0:11:21.3 JD: The same.

0:11:22.1 KD: I'll be honest. Sometimes I'm... So the business to me sometimes feels like I can see a tangible ROI, where a relationship is an emotional ROI, that's hard, I can't see Jason's love bank account of all my deposits growing versus a business, we can tangibly see it. So Jace, I'm curious from your perspective, how can we check those bank account statuses, if you will, of our relationship, what are some ways that we can see. Is it just having that open communication, is it... What do you feel?

0:11:50.4 JD: I don't know if there's a way to actually check that account, I think you just kinda know, but sometimes you don't. Sometimes you seem totally fine to me. And then when I ask you to do a little bit of inventory with you, find out, whoa, things were way off and they're bad. I don't actually know how to do that yet. I don't know. I've just been luck on that so far, but something that you were saying earlier that really resonated with me is how important it is to have a relationship while having a business with relationship. The opposite is true too. I really don't have my work without a relationship, so for instance, on days that you text me and you're having a really bad day or things are falling part, internet goes down, power's out, stuff's hitting the fan at home. I can't focus at work. Or I see a patient every 15 minutes changing. I usually see patients for diabetes, I'm not present with them, I'm not helping them, I'm trying to care about them, but I don't nearly as much because I know my wife's at home struggling or something's going on somewhere in the country, so it's a two-way street. I think your business can thrive better when you have a solid foundation with the relationship and vice versa. I think the other way around is true as well, but your question was, how can you have that inventory? I don't know.

0:12:58.9 KD: I think you actually answered it, Jace, without realizing it. Jason, when we met on a blind date, I kind of thought he was dumb guys 'cause he is so brilliant, even right there where he says he doesn't know. But at the same time, I think you did answer it, of having that open communication and truly checking to see and checking in, and I think when you and I were struggling, something I felt we really learned was how to have unfiltered communication. I just read The Subtle Art of Giving an F, guys.

0:13:26.7 JD: Not giving an F.

0:13:28.2 KD: Of not giving and F, thank you. Yeah, do that one, not what I said. And I'm kind of embarrassed 'cause if my mom knew I listened to that book, I think she would probably cry that I listen to a book with that many F words in it, and if you could... I don't love the F word by any stretch. However, I loved the basis of that book and something they talked about is in your relationship, like you can't have a relationship where you lie to that person, even on subtle things of like if they ask how they look and I remember he said in there, he said, of the most intimate, the most, I would say, profound relationship, if I can't have that honest transparent trust, what do I have? And I've thought about that, 'cause I do think you and I used to filter our communication with each other, especially at the beginning.

0:14:11.0 KD: I don't think you were honest with me about how hard the business was on you, and I don't think I was honest with you of what I really needed to feel supported. And so I know there came a time, especially when divorce papers were on the line when we had separated and there was really nothing left to lose that we decided to just start speaking honestly, but do you have any tips from your side? Because I feel women oftentimes are very good at expressing, but do you have any tips or things that have helped with our communication, because I do feel that something that we really had to work through, we're still working through it, I'm not by any chance saying we're great guys. I do think we're happier, but any tips on how to have that communication, 'cause I actually think that that's how you take your emotional inventory.

0:14:50.6 KD: If you know me, you know that I am obsessed with our Dental A Team Podcast family, and because of that, guys, I wanna give you guys a little bit of love for this season. So from today, Valentine's Day, all the way through March, I am giving our podcast family sneak peak access to Dental A Team's virtual summit, April 28th and 29th. You guys, this year, we are doing secrets of the multi-million dollar practice. Full team, nine hours of CE. It is going to be explosively epic, amazing. You guys, you are not going to wanna miss this. Full team day on Friday, where we're going to go through true practice life examples, case acceptance, your gap on your systems and how you can fix it from a full team's perspective, plus I'm bringing in lots of offices that are truly going to come here and teach you guys exactly what they do. Saturday is going to be full leadership. You got it. I'm bringing in the best of the best popular, proficient, amazing CEOs who are going to come tell you exactly what they do day in and day out, from hospitality to their ways that they're going to structure their lives, to how to make an incredible associate. You guys, the speaker line up is top notch, so right now, head on over to thedentalateam.com/summit2023, read up all of our speakers and use podcast code LOVE2023.

0:16:11.0 KD: And you guys are gonna get early access. Tickets are not going on sale until March 6. So from today until March 6, guys, you have early access and we are only saving 50 spots at this price point, so go sign up today, thedentalateam.com/summit2023 coupon code LOVE2023, and I will see you at summit April 28th and 29th.

0:16:36.3 JD: I think mine's more non-verbal. I think I wear my emotions on my face. I'd never play poker. I'm terrible at that. Everybody knows when I'm having a good day or a bad day. I don't know, I think that's how you probably could read me, but are you asking how could women know the status of their husbands, is that the question?

0:16:55.1 KD: Yeah. Or how can... So I'll speak from a female side, I think that a lot of women are actually reasonably good at expressing their needs, I think oftentimes we might do subtle hints, so women oftentimes are trying to test their spouses, we like to test. I like to check to see are you going to be a doting fan of me? But I think more than anything, what I've learned is to just be very open with what I need, and then I think Jace, something you do really well for me, is you say, "Hey Kiera, what I've heard is this, is this what you are trying to say?" So you almost do that active listening with me without being condescending, and really, I feel you're truly sitting there trying to understand my world, trying to understand what I'm trying to say, so that way you can solve the true problem rather than an assumed problem.

0:17:39.8 JD: Yeah, and I really don't think... At least I don't think men do, but I don't have a hard time telling you what I need.

0:17:46.0 KD: That's valid.

0:17:47.0 JD: You're asking me how do I give that subtle hint? I don't. I just usually just tell you what I need.

0:17:53.3 KD: That's fair.

0:17:54.1 JD: And when I'm hungry, I eat whether you're ready to eat or not. I will go make food.

0:17:57.4 KD: I do think that that's been a change though because I think before you used to... You used to almost have your happiness around me, and if I didn't want to eat or if I didn't wanna go do something, you would sit there wondering like, "Well, like when is she going to be ready?" And I think one of the biggest pieces you and I both learned is live your own life and be super happy, 'cause I think when you internally are happy, you can also show up better for your other person, whether that's your business or your spouse or your partner.

0:18:24.0 JD: Yeah, no, spot on. I wouldn't even try to rephrase that. It's perfect.

0:18:27.9 KD: So I think one of the other sides to this coin is talking about business owners, how can you have that relationship, and I would say number one, for me, some pieces that I have learned is to... Every single week I actually... My favorite color's pink, and Jason can attest to this. In my planner, I do map out pink things for my relationship and for me, so there are things I do for myself like working out, going and hanging out with friends, reading a book, I will schedule that time in my schedule. And then secondly, I always make sure that I've got something about Jason to make him a raving fan. So whatever that is, we try to do a date night every Thursday, it doesn't always happen.

0:19:02.5 KD: Try to do different things that I know will really speak to him, not for my satisfaction, but for Jason, some things make no sense to me, like I don't eat guys, I could go all day long. My mom used to feed me bananas and bread when we'd go shopping for 10 hours a day, and Jason cannot handle that 'cause his family revolves around food. But yet, if I know that that Jason's need, looking for ways that I can do that. So I think as a business owner, those are some of the ways, so I can still rock and roll with the business, I can rock that out, but I can also then look for ways to invest in Jason. 'Cause like I said, if I were to ask an inventory of what my spouse thinks on a Google review, would they be a raving fan of me or would they not? And I think that that's a really important question.

0:19:44.2 JD: Let's just get it out there, it's a five, or something like that.

0:19:48.7 KD: I do.

0:19:49.0 JD: I mean, at the beginning, we didn't answer that, so it probably left this looming cloud over like huh, I wonder what it really is. It's definitely five. And the opposite is true too, when I was trying to find out what you needed, I really have appreciated the events that we've gone to, and one thing that I learned that's real important is making your needs my needs. That was never the case. I always kinda felt like there's my needs that I need to fulfill and then Kiera's needs that I need to fulfill. It's just balance. When they talk about work-life balance, okay, I balance me, I balance my spouse, I balance my work, you can't really all be one and can't be doing all of them at the same time, but you can. And once I made your needs my needs, it was much easier. Something that I've done, it doesn't mean that everybody needs to do this, but you shared with me that you really wanna have three compliments every day. I thought that was great.

0:20:34.2 KD: This is true guys. This is true. And you might think that I'm the most vain person.

0:20:36.1 JD: That's okay.

0:20:36.5 KD: And I'm gonna just put out there, I think having unapologetic needs and not being ashamed of it, 'cause I remember one night at dinner, I told you. 'Cause I used to ask Jace all the time, I'm like Jay, why do you love me? Guys, I am a words of affirmation kinda gal. I love to be told I'm amazing. If you wanna make my day, email us hello at thedentalateam.com, or leave me a review and just tell us how awesome I am. You guys, I'm not gonna be unapologetically asking. I truly love to hear how I'm doing a great job, and so...

0:21:03.8 JD: And that can land wrong on me though, right?

0:21:05.0 KD: Yes.

0:21:05.5 JD: Like hey, I need you to tell me three things why you love me right now. And it did land wrong the first couple of times. I'm like...

0:21:11.5 KD: That's fair.

0:21:12.0 JD: Oh, wow. Okay, sorry Queen. I will get you everything that you need right now, but I think learning that your needs are my needs, and then realizing how easy is that really. It was a switch for me. I don't know why I was lucky to have that switch, but really... How easy are words, right? We talk all day long. If I can just say three things to you and that makes you happy, man game over. This is easy. So I missed a few days here and there, but most of the time, there's three things that I love you, I'll either tell you or text you every morning and just make it, this sounds bad, get it out the way. But that's not...

0:21:47.4 KD: I don't feel that way.

0:21:49.8 JD: Just get it done, just get it done, put it out there and it's really easy, and I think it's made a difference for me and for you.

0:21:55.0 KD: For sure. And I actually have loved that because that's something that I've just really valued and cherish and something I appreciate is when Jason finally saw it as that's something Kiera needs, and that's something that I can do because I want her to be a raving fan and I love her so much. And for me with Jason, it's like, let's make sure we eat at a normal time, and let me make sure I don't have like five minutes just dedicated to him. Again, to Jason's point, words are easy, five minutes a day is truly very easy. And I think when we really boil it down, our partner or our significant other or the person we're in a relationship with, or even our kids, their needs really aren't that long, I think we sometimes make them harder just because it's not comfortable or easy for us. So I feel like in that realm, those are some tacticals hopefully that you guys can see of how to have that business and have a relationship, but I also wanted to spin, Jay, 'cause you and I talked, I'm a business owner and you're an employee, are there any things, if we're gonna take this to the workplace, that you can have a business and a relationship and really empower your team members. What can bosses do to more empower team members? I know you actually manage tons of people, so yes, you're an employee, you're also a boss. You and I definitely go the rounds on that a couple of times, but is there anything from your perspective...

0:23:09.0 KD: I know Adam, your boss is a huge mentor to you, what are some of the things as far as that relationship, no, not a romantic one, guys, let's keep that hopefully out of the workforce. But what are some of the ways that you can have a thriving business or a thriving practice and still have these really powerful, awesome relationships that have open communication, that have that trust? What are any of the things that you've seen with your team members or with your mentor or as a team member that can really make you feel more secure, more safe, because like you said earlier, pre-show, as a boss, I've got more security with the business, I know what's happening, but as employees, they don't necessarily always... They don't have full control over it. So what are some things that we can do?

0:23:47.3 JD: Yeah. So just to confirm, so you're wondering what are some things that you can do in the workplace to have good relationships with the people that you work with?

0:23:55.2 KD: Could you just hear that clarifying, guys, that's how Jason and I communicate. [laughter]

0:24:00.3 JD: Well, it's because I'm pretty simple minded. I have to make sure I really understand what's going on before I start talking. So in order to have those good relationships at work, I feel like relationships are the key at work though. I was thinking of today I'm behind, I've been doing a lot of covering other sites for other people, and this is my first day back really seeing my team again, and I thought, "What's the most important thing for me?" And the most important thing for me is to check in and see how they're doing. I don't say that team like I'm a leader, but honestly, just as one of the group, just to see how they're doing. We've had birthdays go by that I forgot about. We have had people who have been sick, who have been out, who have had some issues that I just wanna check in on, and honestly, when people are happy, this is so cheesy, but you know when people are happy, they're just gonna be doing better at work.

0:24:47.8 KD: Yeah, I love that. So it sounds like just having that genuine, authentic love and check-in with your team members really can make a better relationship for all of them.

0:24:56.6 JD: Yeah, and also something I've kinda noticed in the workplace is it's always great to have somebody on the team who's ground level who has a great attitude kinda like a culture leader, does that make sense? I'm not trying to boast, but I think that used to be me.

0:25:09.5 KD: It was. You guys, Jason is a little prankster.

0:25:13.6 JD: Oh, I love pranks. But I moved out of my position into a new position, and you can't really do that. Once you become a supervisor, you try to have those same relationships, or when you become a boss, you try and have those same relationships, but they aren't. Leadership's lonely. You're just different. It doesn't exist. So trying to have somebody to cultivate that culture is really important. So we do have one or two people who really keep it up beat and positive in our group, and I get it. It honestly can't come from me. Not to shove off responsibility, but what I do is I try to continue to give them praise for like, hey, thanks so much for being our culture lead, you're like thanks for getting parties together. Thanks for doing this for the whole group. I really appreciate it. You're such a great influence because that influence from inside the group is way more important than somebody outside the group.

0:25:57.7 KD: Interesting. So it sounds like really building those relationships internally, encouraging that to happen, but I also think as a boss Jace and as an employee, I think it really helps to just genuinely check in, check in and see how they're doing. And then I think you really have loved true, honest feedback. When your boss is giving you feedback also in a relationship myself, I really do value... It can sting. I think you and I process very differently. I like to hash it out, let's solve it, let's solve it right here and there, and you like to go and process, which sometimes drives me...

0:26:30.0 JD: Quietly, quietly.

0:26:31.9 KD: Absolutely crazy, 'cause I wanna chase after him and just solve it right then and there, and I've had to learn that that's not your way, but I think it's... I think at the bottom line from everything that I'm gathering from relationship to workplace is having true authentic communication with each other, really, really speaking, having that great culture, making raving fans, I think having your spouse or your partner be a raving fan and also your team.

0:26:54.1 JD: We hear authentic language a lot, I feel. But I think so long as it's come from a place of love, which everybody knows, we're like, yeah, I really appreciate what you're doing or you have love towards this person, when you share that information, it doesn't sting as much, for some reason. So many times I'm thinking like, how do I word this? How do I do that? How this is not effective? But then if I tell them this, then it's gonna fall back on somebody else, it's like this weird poker game, which I don't like to play. I think if you just have that honest, true care about the person, then share the feedback, it's not as bad as you think.

0:27:26.2 KD: I also think saying exactly what you just said, of saying. I know you've said to me several times you're like, "Hey, Kiera, I don't want this to land wrong, I really care about you a lot, and you say it," and I think that that comes over time. I think it's putting that emotional inventory into that well, I think having that open communication and like you said, really coming from a place of love. I think as a leader, Jay, you really do love your team. I know for me, I really do love my team, and I think for all of us, we really do love our teams, and I would just ask, because the topic today is how to have a business and a relationship of, do you genuinely love your spouse and your family too? And I'm not gonna make you guys answer that, I know for a while I could say that I didn't, that I would rather be at work, that work was more fulfilling, work gave me guys more... I was the cat's meow at work, people loved me, I had raving fans on the podcast, and at home, I didn't have a raving fan and someone who didn't necessarily wanna see me nor did I wanna see them.

0:28:24.8 KD: And so I think it's really important for you to ask yourself of where are you at and what are you willing to do? I know for us, we decided that we wanted to just dive into it and make each other raving fans, and I don't think that that's always the case, but I would say wherever you're at, take an inventory right now. Really, I visually can see this like one, two, three, four, five, what are they going to give you, what's going to be the review that they're going to give you? How can you make it better? But again, remember, I don't think it has to be hard. It's small things. For Jason and I, we just talked about our needs, and it's literally three things that he loves about me every day, and for me to give him five minutes of uninterrupted time, that is very minimal, guys, to make a raving fan, just like, think about your patients. Most of the time, it's taking them back on time and not having a painful injection. If you can do that and not mess up their bill, your patient's gonna be probably a raving fan and love you, you don't have to have the most exuberant everything. It is truly doing the simple things that matter that can make raving fans.

0:29:20.7 JD: Yeah, no, it's that easy. Just five minutes.

0:29:24.3 KD: So with that, Jace, thanks for being on the podcast. It was real fun, guys. I hope that you guys... One, it was fun to share Jace with you. I know he's always behind the scenes supporting, but just know...

0:29:33.2 JD: Building this.

0:29:35.2 KD: Yeah, Jason, he put all this back here. Jason is a handyman. Thank heavens, he's around, but thank you for being on the podcast. I truly...

0:29:43.4 JD: Yeah, thanks.

0:29:43.5 KD: I'm just grateful for you.

0:29:43.4 JD: Yeah. I've listened to you a lot, so it's gonna be weird hearing me.

[laughter]

0:29:44.1 KD: And all of you guys, take an inventory and look to see where are those raving fans and where can you create more raving fans and remember, let's do it easier, so you don't have to do more work, let's do... How can you do less and create more? And with that guys, you truly can have a business, you can have a successful career. Jason has an amazing career with patients that he loves, he is a clinical Heart And Vascular pharmacist, and he loves his patients, and he's able to do that with ease and grace, especially like you said, when you that have that strong foundation. So if you don't have that guys, I would encourage you to figure out why and to maybe increase it and to improve it, and just start small, start in those small ways and really start speaking authentically from the heart at work and at home. And guys, thank you for being on the podcast. Thanks for being part of our Dental A Team family. We truly love you. And as always, guys, thanks for listening. I'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team Podcast.

0:30:36.4 JD: See ya.

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0:30:40.8 KD: And that wraps it up for another episode of The Dental A Team podcast. Thank you so much for listening and we'll talk to you next time.

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