Episode 724: What Are Your True Reasons For Not Delegating?

 In this part one of two, Kiera discusses the art of delegation — specifically, overcoming your fears of delegating out tasks. She walks through how to find the root of your fear, how to figure out what you should truly delegate, what not delegating tells your team, and how to have a system to make it all happen.

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Transcript:

0:00:05.8 Kiera Dent: Hey everyone, welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast. I'm your host Kiera Dent. And I have this crazy idea that maybe I could combine a doctor and a team member's perspective because let's face it, dentistry can be a challenging profession with those two perspectives. I've been a dental assistant, treatment coordinator, scheduler, filler, office manager, regional manager, practice owner, and I have a team of traveling consultants where we have traveled to over 165 different offices coaching teams. Yep. We don't just understand you, we are you. Our mission is to positively impact the world of dental. And I believe that this podcast is the greatest way I can help elevate teams, grow VIP experiences, reduce stress, and create A Teams. Welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast.

0:00:49.8 Kiera Dent: Hello Dental A Team listeners. This is Kiera and... All right today's podcast is gonna be Kiera's Deep Internal Thoughts. These are things I think about. This one actually came to me while I was, you know, cleaning my house and putting things away. So I hope you guys are ready for one that I think is a personal application to a professional application. So, as always, I hope all of you are living your best lives. I hope you're remembering that right now is the time to be living your life. I hope that you're enjoying the life you're living, and if not, I hope you are intentionally making changes to live your best version of your life and accept the fact that we are all evolving, all growing, and give each other just the benefit of the doubt. Today. I would encourage you guys just to be a little bit kinder.

0:01:35.2 Kiera Dent: There was a sign and it was on my phone for a really, really, really long time and it said, "Be kinder than necessary." And I just think in a world today, why not be a little kinder than necessary? And with that guys, if you haven't been blessed or laughed or cried or found some tactical practicals from this podcast, please go leave us a review. That's how you're able to help me on my mission to positively impact the world of dentistry in the greatest way possible. My goal is to truly have the podcast in over a million people's hands. That is a big feat. It's a big goal, but I know with your help, it can be possible. Why not spread a little goodness? So if you believe in our mission, if you believe in what we're talking about, please go share it. Give us those five stars and share it today on whatever social media platform you're on.

0:02:16.4 Kiera Dent: Just snag this podcast. Pop it up on there. Say you're listening. And who knows? Dental A Team swag does tend to come to those raving fans. Surprise and delight is my style. So with that, I wanna actually talk about delegation. Delegation is a tactical, practical piece. So many people don't wanna delegate. And I'm actually gonna talk about the two sides of delegation because I was thinking about this. And so I'm gonna start with the people who don't delegate first, let's talk about why don't we delegate? 'cause we don't think people can do it as good as we can. We're afraid of following up. We're afraid that we're not gonna be liked if we delegate to other people. We're afraid that, "Oh my gosh, no Kiera, they have so much on their plate." "I can just handle this. I don't need to delegate." you, I'm gonna ask you right now, what is your reason for not delegating?

0:03:01.4 Kiera Dent: Is it that you don't trust people? Is it that you don't believe they can do it as well as you can? What is your reason? I'm gonna give you a second right here. Why don't you delegate if you're in a position where you should be delegating. Now all of us, I think, have opportunities to delegate. Think about our personal lives. You could delegate to a personal assistant. Even if you're single. You could have, ooh, a dog walker. You can delegate tasks to other people. Other people... I know my husband, he doesn't like to delegate things because he doesn't wanna be cheap. Delegation, outsourcing, whatever you wanna call it. Those are different things. But in the workforce, that's where I'm gonna talk about, why don't we as leaders, office managers, doctors, team leads, why don't you delegate. Answer it. For me I know oftentimes I'm like, "Mm are they gonna do it as well?

0:03:46.3 Kiera Dent: What happens if it doesn't go well, I'm gonna have to have this awkward conversation then they're not gonna like me." And I want you to really down-dig deeper to what is really your reason for not delegating. I did this exercise yesterday with a client on a coaching call and she said, "Well Kiera, it's because I don't follow through." And I said, "Okay, so what happens if you don't follow through?" And so I want you to play this game with me of then what? Then what? Then what? Then what? So for me, I'll use me in this example today. The reason I don't delegate is because, "Oh, if they don't actually do it right I'm gonna have an uncomfortable conversation." "Okay, Kiera. So if you have to have an uncomfortable conversation, what does that mean?" "Mm, I'm gonna make them feel really bad."

0:04:23.7 Kiera Dent: And if I make them feel really bad, then what happens? "They're probably gonna think I'm a jerk of a boss." "Okay, and what if they think you're a jerk of a boss?" "Then my whole team's gonna quit on me." "Okay, and then if your whole team quits on you, then what?" "Then I'm gonna have to do everything on my own." "Okay, and if you have to do everything on your own, then what?" "I'm gonna get really depressed." "Okay, if you get really depressed, then what?" "I'm gonna feel like I don't have a purpose." And then what? "If I don't have a purpose, why am I here?" Okay, now you guys see why I don't delegate? It's not because I'm actually afraid to do, it's because I don't wanna have these uncomfortable conversations 'cause I don't wanna feel like I don't have a purpose.

0:05:07.5 Kiera Dent: That's my real root cause. And oftentimes we don't do things because we're not willing to go a little bit deeper and dig deeper as to why we're not actually doing things. And so for this, I want us to think about why are we not doing it, for me if I don't feel like I've got a purpose? Well, that's a pretty good motivator for me not to delegate. Now here's the actual antidote to that, is is that true? "Kiera if you don't have a team, is it really true that you don't have a purpose?" The answer is no. That's not true. That's a story that I'm living over here. That's an agreement. That's something that's psychologically going in my mind that's actually not true. So if that's not true, now I can say, "Okay, well for me to delegate, I'm gonna have to have an uncomfortable conversation.

0:05:46.7 Kiera Dent: And that's going to build trust between me and that team member. I'm gonna delegate to give us those opportunities." Do you see how he's able to flip the script, change it, find out why I'm really doing it, and then ask myself, "Is that really true?" And now I can find a better way to actually resolve it, to figure it out and to now start delegating. So for a lot of office managers, your real reason you don't delegate is because you feel like if you don't do all these tasks, you don't have a purpose. Am I right or am I right? You're afraid that someone will replace you. And if someone can replace you, then you don't have a job. You're not gonna be able to provide for your family. You're gonna be homeless. Go down the scenarios. And most people don't wanna get uncomfortable.

0:06:27.1 Kiera Dent: I did it and it seemed like, "Nonchalant da da da Kiera's going down this path to, 'I don't have a purpose.'" Do you know how many times I've worked through this and I've been so scared to actually say what's holding me back that I don't get to the real root cause and therefore I stop? I don't delegate. So office managers really ask yourself, doctors really ask yourself, why don't you actually delegate? "Because they have too much on their plate." Okay. So if I give them this and they have too much on their plate, then what? "Then they're gonna quit." Okay, that's your fear. And what happens if they actually quit? "Then I'm gonna have to hire somebody else." okay. And if you have to hire somebody else? "That's gonna take so much time, Kiera." okay. And if it takes so much time, then what? "Then I'm not gonna be able to do any type of dentistry and then my business is gonna close and I am literally gonna be bankrupt." Bingo. That's what you're really afraid of. So is it really true that if you delegate this one task to your office manager, that you're going to be bankrupt?

0:07:21.4 Kiera Dent: No. But in your mind, you're connecting from here to here, which is from this little task going to this extreme without you realizing what the extreme is. And that's why we often don't delegate. So with that said, I want you guys to try this exercise. It can feel scary. This is why I love coaching because sometimes you need a coach to push you. I was doing this, like I said, with a client and she was avoiding it. And as soon as I found her trigger, I said, "Ooh, that's why." And she was like, "Kiera, I don't like talking about this." And I said, "Yeah, of course you don't like talking about this." Because we don't like to admit, "I'll be bankrupt. I'll be a failure. People won't like me." That's uncomfortable. But if you can get to that uncomfortable space, you'll realize why you're not delegating.

0:08:00.8 Kiera Dent: What happens office managers, if you don't have a purpose and your doctor doesn't need you anymore? "Then great, I'm broke. I don't have a job." Whatever it is, whatever your reason is. But that's actually not true. It's just a story you're believing. And so if you can figure out what that is, you are gonna be able to delegate more accurately, more consistently, more freeing and realize that by me delegating, I give people a better opportunity to be empowered or whatever you wanna flip that script to. So for me, instead of it being, "I don't delegate because I actually don't want to have no purpose and my whole team quitting on me," is, "I delegate so I can have uncomfortable conversations and empower my team to expand and be more than they ever believed that was possible." "Ooh, okay, let me go delegate today." It's just a flip of the script and it's crazy how many internal dialogue stories we're living and believing, that's actually holding us back from what we really need to be.

0:08:51.1 Kiera Dent: I know as an office manager, I didn't delegate because I thought, "Oh no, I'm the office manager. I should be doing these tasks." When in reality my real task as an office manager was holding people accountable, figuring out better systems in flow, things that don't seem like they matter because it's not on a checklist checkoff, but things that no one else is doing. So in leadership, we have to realize our biggest task and our number-one job is to do the things that other people aren't doing. Therefore, we need to delegate tasks that other people are fully equipped and capable of doing. Believe that they can do it just as good if not better than we can. I'll say that again. Believe that they can do that just as good if not better than we can and delegate it with a system for success. That is this side of the coin of delegation as to why we don't delegate, how to overcome it and how to move forward.

0:09:43.5 Kiera Dent: So with that, I'm probably gonna turn this into a two-part series because as I'm watching the time, I wanna do the other side of delegation, which is the flip side of delegation. But for right now, I'm going to continue on this delegation side of why we don't delegate, how we can delegate. And then I'll do a second part to this podcast, that you guys are gonna listen to next. The second part of this is the other side of delegation for those who delegate a lot. So I've got another side to that. Okay, so with this, why don't we delegate? How can we do this? Now we realize how you can figure out why you don't delegate, what your true reasonings for not delegating are. And then I said set 'em up with a system for success. So I wanna dive into that a bit more for this tactical, practical side for you guys of truly how to delegate.

0:10:25.7 Kiera Dent: So we've now figured out why you don't delegate or so I hope that you did this experience. I hope you pushed pause. I hope you went down the path. I hope you asked yourself then what? Then what? Then what? And it's okay to giggle at yourself. It's okay to think you're dramatic. It's okay because if we can giggle about it, we can actually break it because in our mind we think this is truth. And if you can giggle about it, break it and realize that's actually just a story, it's not a fact. You can set yourself free and delegate. So then when we delegate, and like I said, you've gotta figure out what are your most important things. I want you right now as an office manager, as a doctor, as a team lead, as a team member, what is your most important task that no one else besides you can do?

0:11:08.6 Kiera Dent: A dentist, guess what? You are the only person in the practice that can diagnose and prep teeth. Period. That is your most important job. You're also the only person that can set the vision of our practice, period. That's your job. An office manager, there's lots of things for you, but what are the most important things? If you could only choose three things that no one else besides you does, it's probably to look for the efficiency pieces that are lacking within the practice and figure out, "Where are our gaps in our holes that can make our practice better." It's probably the person who is watching and overseeing all the accountability measures to make sure the entire team is staying accountable, following through and executing. Whether that means from you or from your leads. But no one is probably watching over the entire organization but you, I remember there was a quote and they said, "CEOs do your job".

0:12:00.5 Kiera Dent: And I wanna say to each of you, do your job, the job... Yes, of course we're team players. Yes, we do these things that help each other out, but the number-one job is the job that no one else does besides you. That's why you have a job. But yet those usually are not the flashy, those ones are usually not the fun ones. They're usually the ones that are not as self-gratifying because we can't check 'em off a checklist because how do you know if a whole team is being accountable? How do we know if our whole practice is running efficiently on perfect systems? Those are hard jobs. So what I'm trying to say is once you pick your three things that are the most important things that only you can do and identify that, things that no one else, but you, are doing, then from there we need to delegate the rest of the tasks or a few of those tasks and we wanna check ourselves to figure out why.

0:12:44.8 Kiera Dent: I'll also say for those of you who choose not to delegate, I wanna let you know that what you're actually telling your team is, "I don't trust you. I don't believe in you. I can do this better than you. So you're just not capable of doing this." And you wanna come to me and say, "Kiera, why doesn't my team ever take ownership or stay accountable?" Well bingo, you just told them they're incompetent and dumb 'cause you're never willing to trust them with anything because you're the only one that could do it. There is Kiera's really truth serum for you right now and I hope that came with love and I hope you know that it came with love because most people aren't willing to say that. That's why I actually enjoy coaching. That's why I believe every person needs a coach because you need someone who can call you out, can tell you that that's BS, bad stuff.

0:13:22.9 Kiera Dent: You guys can choose what you wanna believe BS stands for, but you need someone to call you out and tell you that this is not actually true, that this is why you're doing it. Let me call you out on the carpet and say, "No, that's not true. This is what you're telling your team by not delegating." So whether you wanna think that you're being nice and saying, "Oh my gosh, there's so much on their plate," you're actually saying, "You're incompetent and you're not able to do this." Let them tell you no. Let them tell you, "Hey, I'm overwhelmed and I got too much on my plate." Let them actually have an opportunity. You've gotta trust and believe that your team is capable of this if you want your team to be this way. So when we delegate, we empower them, we believe in them, and we set up a system for success.

0:14:02.5 Kiera Dent: I also have a rule that 'anything I delegate out never comes back to me'. Do you know how long it's been since I booked my own plane tickets? Do I feel incredibly awkward? The fact that I don't book my own plane tickets now? Yeah, for sure. But guess what? That was a task that someone else could do just as good if not better than I could. And I need to empower and trust someone to be able to do it, to free myself up to do things that they weren't able to do, period. That is the secret to delegation you guys. That is why we delegate. This is why we empower our team, but you gotta set up a system. So for me, having someone book my plane tickets, I could just say, "All right, Shelby, book my plane tickets. I wish you the best." Guess what?

0:14:40.0 Kiera Dent: I'm being really angry when I'm in the back row, in the middle seat because that was the best one available. That is not Kiera's system for success. That is not how I like to fly. I have flown to every 50 states, all of the 50 states in one year. I have seen all seven continents. I fly like a freaking machine. Thankfully I don't do it as much as I used to. I have some pretty strong preferences on how Kiera likes her travel to be booked, what times I like to fly out, what airlines I like to fly on. So I need to create a system if I'm going to delegate this to somebody with success. Now, this is oftentimes why we don't delegate because we think, "Oh my gosh, do you know how long it's gonna take me, Kiera, to write up a system for success?"

0:15:14.1 Kiera Dent: I write you type A OCD people, we're doing an 80% there, not 100% there, because it's okay, it's never gonna be a hundred percent. We write up our general idea of it and then we go to that person and say, "Hey Shelbs, I got a task for you and I know you're gonna be way better than even I am at this and I know you can do it. And I'm curious if you are able and open to help me with booking my travel? If not, no big deal. There's other people, I totally think you can do it. Let me know your time span." Shelby says, "Yep, I'm good Kiera. Take it on." "Awesome. I need you to start booking my travel for me. Here are my preferences of what I've got and I'm confident I've already missed something within here. So when you go through it, it's gonna be a learning for you and me.

0:15:51.5 Kiera Dent: But we're gonna fine-tune this, fix it, prioritize it, and make it really awesome. So that way you are actually better at this than I am and it's gonna be incredible. And I'm super appreciative of you." Shelby's like, "Yeah, bring it on. Let's do this. Game on." We go through it. She starts booking travel for me. I let her know I've got a little simple one-page protocol typically, if that's appropriate. But make it simple because too many details, too many facts aren't gonna help. And notice I said 'Shelbs, I probably forgot something so you give me the feedback, I'll give you the feedback. And together we're gonna make this into an incredible system'. Now I've delegated, I've empowered her and I've given her the system for success. Let's move on and off we go. And my role is once it's delegated it never ever ever comes back because by me going in, "Shelby," so it's not Shelby, let me go back in time.

0:16:40.5 Kiera Dent: I had Kaylee who first started booking my travel. She was the first person. And lo and behold, Kaylee would book me like 30 minutes, 40 minutes past an office. I would literally drive past the office to a hotel and then I'd have to drive back to the office. And if you know me, sleep is my number one piece that I need to function in life. So Kaylee and I finally had a conversation. I'm like, "Kaylee, what is going on? I am driving so far past these offices and then I'm coming all the way back. What address do you have," come from curiosity not from judgment. And I asked her what was going on and she said, "Kiera, I've got this address." Well, lo and behold, the address she was booking towards was the doctor's home address, not their office address. But we both didn't know that, I gave her a list of all the addresses.

0:17:24.9 Kiera Dent: I didn't even know that that was their home address. And that's where the broken piece was. I could have yelled at her, I could have been mad at her. I could have said, "Kaylee is so incompetent. I'm the only person who can book travel. She's making me drive an extra hour." But instead we came from curiosity. We came from, "Hey, let's solve this. Let's fix this. And I'm not taking this back because Kaylee, I trust you, I empower you and I want you to succeed. So let's help you succeed. Get what I need and what you need." Bada bing bada boom gave her the right address, and instantly my travel was perfect with no issues. So I want you guys to look at why don't you delegate? What do you need to delegate? What are your top three things that you do that only you can do?

0:18:04.2 Kiera Dent: And then I want you guys to stay tuned to the flip side of is delegation a form of procrastination? So stay tuned guys, as always, if we can help you, if you need a coach to call you on the carpet, to tell you those things, if you want to be like these offices where I push them and we drill them and we get them to be there, we help them realize what can they delegate, what can other team members have? What does it look like in other practices of what can be delegated? Reach out, I would love to help you, [email protected], because you don't have to do this alone. These things are things that I didn't learn on my own. These are things that I've had coaches teach me and other people drill into me and I still have them drill into me.

0:18:41.0 Kiera Dent: I still have coaches, to this day, who challenge my belief system, who question me, who call me on the carpet, who say, "Kiera is that really true?" And you need to empower them and you need to give this away. And I'm gonna help you build a system for success so you know how easy it is to do it, how little time this takes, and therefore you can be free and empower your team. And if I can be that way for you guys and our team can help you reach out [email protected], go to our website, book a call, we do a free strategy call for you. So it's literally a no risk and we'll help you with your practice. And I guarantee you, even if it doesn't seem like it's a fit for you or for us, I promise you we will still leave you with tactical practicals for you specifically. And as always, guys, thanks for listening. I'll catch you next time on The Dental A Team podcast.

0:19:26.8 Kiera Dent: And that wraps it up for another episode of The Dental A Team Podcast. Thank you so much for listening and we'll talk to you next time.

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