Episode 795: How to Know What People Actually Need

 Kiera and Spiffy Tiffy shine a light on listening to understand—as a leader, team member, human being. This is an opportunity to stretch your intuitive muscles and learn how to observe situations for improved understanding of how those in your life function.

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Transcript:

Kiera Dent (00:00.71)

Hello, Dental 18 listeners, this is Kira, and I have the one and only Spiffy Tiffy back on the pod. We haven't podcasted in so long. I'm so excited to have you back. Tiff, how are you?

 

Tiffanie (00:08.638)

I know. I'm so bad. And I wanted to say, there's been a couple podcasts where you're like, oh, I'm gonna get a new nickname. And I feel like I can't have a new nickname because one, new offices that I've never even consulted before when they sign up with me will be like, Spiffy Tiffy, we got you. So that's kind of fun. And two, I have swag that says Spiffy Tiffy. So it can't change. This is my life long name. My boyfriend calls me Spiffy Tiffy sometimes.

 

Kiera Dent (00:25.984)

Hahaha!

 

Kiera Dent (00:31.447)

I mean, we do.

 

Tiffanie (00:38.006)

Literally. You should, yeah. You did. You did. I mean, that's fair. Okay. You know I love swag.

 

Kiera Dent (00:38.382)

I mean, I feel really proud on that. Actually, thanks for sharing that. I feel like I named my firstborn child Tiffany. Spiffy Tiffy. Well, if a better one comes along, I will not be shy and I'll get you new swag. Don't stress about that. I mean, we do. Listen, the new swag's coming. How jealous are you that I've got the shirt and you don't today?

 

Tiffanie (00:56.066)

I'm really jealous. I have my water bottle that's that color, my cup, that I'm definitely gonna find some more of, but I'm super jealous.

 

Kiera Dent (01:00.174)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (01:05.51)

Yeah, well, don't worry. They're coming. I have the one that's slightly off-centered. This is a sample one. So everyone who gets swag, it will not be this version. You'll get a little… Well, that's good because I was like, just tilt a little bit, make that A dead center. But for all of you listening, Tiff is… Oh, man. Tiff's my go-to. She's been my ride or die. This company, for those of you new to the podcast, if you don't know, I started the company in 2017. That got weird.

 

Tiffanie (01:08.005)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (01:13.246)

I didn't notice.

 

What?

 

Tiffanie (01:32.442)

17.

 

Kiera Dent (01:34.986)

I actually think it's 16 and you came on 17. Truth, I started in November 16. This is when you know you're getting old guys. Shoot, I mean, dental A team is about to be a decade. Shoot, that's exciting. So I started in November 2016. I didn't know what the heck I was doing. I literally wrote, curi at gmail.com and got that so long. I will never do that again. Dental A team is still quite lengthy, but like it's cool.

 

Tiffanie (01:39.329)

spare.

 

Tiffanie (01:42.662)

Hahaha

 

Tiffanie (01:54.368)

That's so long.

 

Tiffanie (01:59.818)

It is quite lengthy.

 

Kiera Dent (02:01.882)

And it's not just dental team, it's the dental team. So that was also cool. And then I'm at TIFF, gosh, and I didn't know what I was doing. I left TIFF in an office to consult on her own. I was like, she's got this, I gotta go to another office. And TIFF came in about six months after the company was started. So very, very early on, TIFF and I, we were giggling yesterday. The things we did at the beginning of this company, I'm still impressed.

 

Tiffanie (02:04.602)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (02:25.129)

Hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (02:27.806)

I mean, I still think we always delivered great value, but to where we are today, guys, I mean, those who have been with us since the get-go, I'm giving you a gold medal. Thank you for going through it with us. And for those of you joining us now, just know there's been a lot of love, blood, sweat, and tears completely always made up of what we would wish we would have had in practices, what we would think offices and teams could use. And Tiff, I'm just grateful that you've been here for the journey. We can giggle about so many things in the past. Like we just rolled out our Dr. Mastermind community and it's...

 

Tiffanie (02:30.726)

for sure.

 

Kiera Dent (02:56.526)

so freaking rad. Like we have it on an amazing platform, but you and I were talking reminiscing when we finally released it. And I think that thing has been trying to come since 2018. Like we have had that thing trying to come to fruition and it finally got here, but gosh, something just take a little bit longer. So thanks for being on the journey with me, Swiffy Tiffy. It's been a good time.

 

Tiffanie (03:06.474)

It has.

 

Tiffanie (03:14.674)

Yeah. Thanks for having me. Thanks. I will never forget the day that you called me and you were like, I have an idea. And I was like, wow, this sounds kind of cool. Let's do it. And then from that day on, every time Kira calls me and she says, Tiff, I have an idea. Hear me out. And I say, all right, let's do it. And then we need Shelby in the middle to say, I think we should table this for a second. I'm like, oh, we're already halfway there. So could we just finish it?

 

Kiera Dent (03:18.386)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (03:24.531)

I did.

 

Kiera Dent (03:38.766)

Yesterday I had HR Brit on me and I was like, gosh, HR Brit, I used to be able to have run all my ideas away with like, Tiff's always on board. I mean, it's probably good that we do have Brit and Shelby in the mix because, honest to goodness, Tiff is your best. You want to try something out. Tiff's like, yep, I'm in, I'm in. We don't even think about it. I think, Tiff, you would probably jump out of a plane with me without checking for a parachute. We probably would just be like, and off the ledge we went and it was a good ride. So.

 

Tiffanie (03:42.502)

I'm gonna go to bed.

 

Tiffanie (03:54.298)

D-D-

 

true. It's so true.

 

Tiffanie (04:04.006)

I know. I literally, you text me the other day and said, should we try for half a soup pie? And I was like, yes. And I was like, wait, hang on. I think I need to be a responsible adult here. I had to delete what I had already there and be a responsible adult.

 

Kiera Dent (04:16.618)

And my thought is, can we just try? And if we get it, then we know and we'll figure it out. So, you know, this is usually how it works out. But for those of you guys who's joining us, welcome to the podcast. I hope you guys loved, just thanks for being here with us. And do us a solid, go leave a review. Tell us how much you love it, how much this has changed and helped your practice. Because today, Tiff, I love podcasting with Tiff. I often do solo, she does it with the other consultants.

 

Tiffanie (04:19.581)

Hehehehe

 

We deal with it.

 

Kiera Dent (04:43.218)

I do it with a bunch of guests and now we get to come together and bring the brilliant minds who created this company back together. And today, Tiff, we were talking about observation and listening and I think this is your zone. I think it was funny. We were actually interviewing some new consultants yesterday and I'm like every consultant has a tool in their tool belt. TIFFS is like relationships and communication. Mine is growth and overheaded numbers. Britz is operations and systems. Danae is like traction galore. She loves doing the EOS life. She loves growing the numbers.

 

Dana is like systems galore, that girl, she can get systems into play and get a team on board and just track, we all have like our tool of choice. Lisa's about marketing and relationships. Oh my gosh, I'm always like, hey, we should do this. And she's like, what about this idea to get a community? And I'm like, that's a great idea. Did not think about that. We all have our tool of choice, but Tiff, I really wanted to dive into this observation of what people actually need and listening, because I think that this is something that can really just enhance in our personal lives, but also our professional with case acceptance, with handoffs with.

 

Tiffanie (05:14.842)

That's so true.

 

Tiffanie (05:25.073)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (05:32.759)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (05:39.538)

leadership with communication in the office because the number one thing that we get told as Consultants is I need to improve my communication in my office. So tiff let's talk about this observation You had a kind of interesting experience the other day

 

Tiffanie (05:47.231)

always.

 

Tiffanie (05:52.434)

I did. Yeah, I did. I actually I have to start it out by saying that I have always and I do think I am intuitive, but I've always thought gosh, I'm just so intuitive. Like I just know things without knowing them. Right. And that's always that's been my whole life. I've been incredibly intuitive air quotes there. And I was taking a personality test actually the other day, one of my favorite ones 16 personalities, and I take it every once in a while. And it

 

Kiera Dent (06:02.326)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (06:17.038)

Hehehe

 

Tiffanie (06:17.922)

actually told me, that's my favorite, it actually told me that I'm not intuitive. Like, I had like 23% intuitive or something like that, but I'm observational. My observation piece was like 85%. And I thought, wow, it's so much the same of what I thought, right? Intuitive, but it makes so much sense. I'm incredibly good at observing and I'm seeing things constantly that are happening.

 

Kiera Dent (06:20.568)

Yes.

 

Kiera Dent (06:32.96)

Mmm.

 

Kiera Dent (06:38.589)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (06:46.51)

without even realizing that I'm seeing them, that they're happening. And I think that's what makes me a good consultant, number one, and that's what makes me really good at relationships and listening, just communication in general, is that I'm constantly seeing things going on without even knowing that they're happening. And as I'm realizing this in myself, I start paying attention to other people.

 

Kiera Dent (07:06.033)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (07:11.478)

And I start paying attention to the people around me who are struggling with relationships, struggling with communication, struggling with their business tactics and, you know, just different people in my life, different clients. And I'm like, oh my gosh, like you're listening, you're listening, but you're listening to respond, right? So I love teaching active listening to my, to my teams, if you can be an active listener. And I think observation comes along with that. And really listening to.

 

Kiera Dent (07:29.838)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (07:40.534)

understand, listening to see what's needed rather than listening to assume what my agenda is, is correct. And I think it takes a little bit of skill to get outside of yourself because we go into everything. We go into everything with an expectation, right? Whatever the situation is, I have an expectation of what that result is going to be. And it's usually self-serving, which is completely normal.

 

But if we can go into situations knowing that expectation may or may not happen, but I want to learn more. I want to gain more knowledge about whatever the situation is so that whatever the outcome is, whatever that end result is, is the one that we need, not the one that I thought we needed. Because oftentimes what I thought we needed isn't actually what we need. Sometimes I'll go into a conversation with practice.

 

Kiera Dent (08:16.949)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (08:29.738)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (08:37.038)

and I'll have an agenda beforehand, right? They send me their agendas and they're like, these are all the things, these are all the pieces, and I'm like, I got this. I know exactly what I'm gonna talk about. I'm gonna train them on how to do their billing, right? And then we get there and it has nothing to do with the billing or whatever I thought it was going to be. And if I'm not good at observing or I'm not good at listening to what their pain points actually are and helping them.

 

Kiera Dent (08:45.142)

Hahaha!

 

Kiera Dent (08:51.694)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (09:02.714)

to find that out in personal or business life. I'm gonna continue on the agenda of what I thought they needed. So I'm gonna keep telling this practice how to do their billing. When their billing rep may already know how to do it, her actual issue is that they're short staffed and so she can't get to the billing. And I'm over here saying, well, if you just do this.

 

Kiera Dent (09:11.16)

Right.

 

Tiffanie (09:24.694)

You just talk to the insurance companies every couple of weeks, they'll pay eventually. If you just send your statements like this and she's like, yeah, that sounds cool, but like, when am I supposed to do that? But if I'm not hearing it because I'm not being observational in my listening, I am just listening to get my end result taken care of. I'm not actually resolving anything for them. And I'm normally, normally what happens.

 

Kiera Dent (09:30.01)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (09:53.834)

is that you push that person away and they stop listening to you. Because one of our biggest needs to be fulfilled as a human being is to feel seen and feel heard. And when we don't feel seen or feel heard, we step away from the situation. And so as a coach, if I'm coaching a team and they don't feel like I'm hearing them or seeing their struggles, and I'm just like, no, I have my agenda, this is what I need to teach you, they're gonna be pushed away.

 

Kiera Dent (09:55.79)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (10:22.946)

And now I have a team that doesn't want to work with me anymore. And I have a doctor texting and saying, Hey, we're going to go ahead and cancel that zoom call, um, because my team says they're good. And I'm like, what, they're, they ain't good. They got a lot to work on. Um, but it's because I didn't listen. I didn't see and hear them. I was not being in observation and learning mode. I was being in. I know everything.

 

Kiera Dent (10:22.998)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (10:34.565)

You're welcome.

 

Tiffanie (10:47.042)

And I know where I want this to go. And I think it takes a humble person to be able to say, all right, I'm gonna put my agenda aside and I'm gonna do this. And I think that, I think it relates obviously to our coaching. That's a really easy space of life for me to talk on it, to speak on it, but then think about doctors and office managers and leadership and teams. And so many practices come to us and they're like, gosh, Kira.

 

Kiera Dent (10:59.155)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (11:14.21)

My team won't do what I asked them to do. Why? Right? And well, because you're not listening to them. They have things that they need heard. There are things that you're not seeing and you're just trying to get your own agenda completed, which is totally fine. But what if you could get your agenda completed by seeing and hearing them first and you still get the end result that you wanted because you saw and heard them?

 

Kiera Dent (11:16.442)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (11:34.429)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (11:39.266)

and helped find the path that they needed to get to, to get your end results. And I don't, I truly don't think you can get there without being observational.

 

Kiera Dent (11:44.627)

Totally.

 

Kiera Dent (11:48.97)

Well, I think I love how you painted this because as you were saying that, I thought, well, it's funny because what people actually think when they're in that mode is I'm amazing. Cause I thought back to you with like the example of coaching. You think as that person, like I knocked it out of the freaking park because you didn't hear that you missed it. What you heard was I'm amazing. They gave me this agenda. This is what they asked for.

 

Tiffanie (12:06.916)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (12:14.838)

but we didn't miss for what they actually needed because we were so set on that. And so it's crazy, I'm a type eight person, Tiff, you know, I freaking love to win. And I even think about winning in conversations, like did I go in there? Did I crush it? Like, did I get my team where I want them to be? Like literally these are the thoughts that I have on the backside of it. And one thing that's helped me to give some tactical to it is going in with curiosity as opposed to quote unquote winning. Going in to make sure it's not Kira's agenda, it's-

 

What is the ultimate thing not being said that I need to find? Same thing with the treatment plan. You might think like I smashed that treatment plan, like I gave them exactly what they wanted and they still said no to me. You didn't. You missed it. And I'm just going to call it straight. Tiff's way sweeter than I am. I'm very like, let's just cut to the meat of it. You miss it if people are pushing you away, if you're not hearing what they're saying. And it's crazy because and I even do this and I'll catch myself. Tiff, you've heard me on many meetings. I'll interrupt because I think I know where people are going. And then I'm like, well, I interrupted you.

 

Finish your thought, I'm like here to actually listen to you and not think that I can respond without you telling me. And I say that as like a joke, I say that to call myself out on it because what it does is it tricks me out of like, stop thinking you know what they wanna say and actually listen and respond to what they're truly asking not what I think that they want to ask. And so if those help people who might be a little more like Kira in this scenario, maybe a little less observational, it's crazy how much more efficient my life is, how much happier I am.

 

Tiffanie (13:17.559)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (13:42.274)

how much closer I feel to people and how much more ease I think is in my life because I'm not trying to guess agendas anymore. I was thinking like, well, this is like reading between the lines. I'm like, no, it's actually just reading the lines. When we come in with an agenda, we're trying to read between the lines and guess what's being said versus like they're actually telling you if you'll listen. And then you can repeat back. And it's crazy because you hear this all the time. I'll sit in meetings and it's.

 

Tiffanie (13:54.17)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (14:08.142)

quite entertaining to me. I used to go from wanting to be the star of the show to I genuinely love to sit back and watch. Because if I will sit back and watch, I will learn more about that office, about that team, about that manager, about that doctor, than I will ever get by them telling me. And you can learn so much about a person, but I just thought it's crazy, the missed perception of you think you nailed it and you think you took it. And like, shoot, Tiff, she thinks she nailed it. Like they asked for billing, I'm gonna go teach them billing.

 

Tiffanie (14:36.127)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (14:37.014)

But that's when clients cancel, that's when patients don't come back, that's when cases don't get closed, that's when team turns over. And so if you're getting those experiences, that's when you feel disconnected from people. And I don't know, Tiff, like, how can people know if they're observing or if they're just responding? How do you actually, how can you be self-aware about that rather than just listening to this podcast and checking yourself?

 

Tiffanie (14:52.322)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (14:57.238)

Yeah, you're like, I'm aware now. I know. I heard them say it. I got this tool now. Yeah, I think they're, I think, exactly. Yeah, I totally agree. I totally agree. I think some of the ways that I check myself and the ways I know that I have not been in observation mode and I've been in like egotistical, Tiff knows everything mode is in my results, right? Or if I feel like I'm not,

 

Kiera Dent (15:00.568)

Got it. And then that's the person who thinks they got it and they actually are still missing it.

 

Tiffanie (15:26.414)

connected to someone. I'm really big on connection and relationships and feeling that connection. So I can tell personally, I can tell normally when I don't feel connected to that person or I'm like, gosh, I haven't heard from them in a while. I wonder what's going on. I can usually tell that way. But for practices and for doctors, for tactical pieces, for patient related items, I honestly think it's in your treatment planning and your schedule. So when your schedule starts slacking.

 

When you've got low case acceptance and maybe high diagnosis or low diagnosis, I really feel like that's when you're in a space of like, I'm just trying to accomplish something. So I'll see a lot of doctors and I'll work with a lot of doctors. One comes to mind specifically that I worked with for a long time. I know when he has something personal going on.

 

Kiera Dent (16:15.196)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (16:15.934)

I always know when he has something personal going on. Even now, I haven't worked with him in years, but I always know when there's something personal going on because it starts showing in the other spaces of his life, because all of his attention and his observation is going towards something else, right? And so, like, it's a misbalance, it's out of balance. So then when things start tipping in a different way,

 

For that doctor, I was always really cognizantly aware of the amount he was diagnosing. And I knew as soon as his diagnosis started to tank, something was going on and I just had to bring him back. I didn't have to solve anything for him. I didn't have to talk to him about whatever it was. I mean, sometimes it was as simple as like, he needed to buy new tires on the truck and he couldn't figure out where to take the truck. Sometimes it was that simple, right? So I didn't need to dive into it with him at all. I just needed to be like, hey doc,

 

Kiera Dent (16:47.652)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (17:04.034)

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (17:10.862)

these are the numbers trends and is there something I can do to help get these back up? And he would be like, nope, got it. I haven't been, like, I haven't been present. And I think that might even, Kira, as I'm thinking and talking through that, like that might even be a more relatable experience for people because being in that observation and that, like you said, that questioning and learning, it's just being present. And I think everybody knows what that looks like and feels like and how to do that. And when you're present,

 

Kiera Dent (17:35.219)

Agreed.

 

Tiffanie (17:40.41)

you're with the person, you're with the situation, and you're truly observing what's going around because you're only in that moment. You're not in the future answering them, solving the problem, or in the future in the next chair, right, we're not in the root canal room right now, we're in the exam, and we're here present, and we're observing, and when you can do that, when you can be with the person.

 

Kiera Dent (17:57.203)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (18:05.138)

Now you're seeing their body language. Are they looking at you while you're talking or are their eyes over here? Are they uncomfortable talking about money? Are they uncomfortable talking about treatment? Are they upset? Like now you can truly observe where that person's at and gauge where the conversation needs to go because if you diagnose a crown and somebody's totally disengaged, their eyes are over here. They're like, yeah, sure doc, whatever. But you're standing behind them saying all of these things about a crown and you're like, okay, see you when you come back. They ain't scheduling.

 

They're not gonna be back. They're over in some other dentist office and their brain's getting a second opinion because you aren't paying attention. But if you were observing and you were talking with that person about the problem they were having, you could find out that the real issue they're having is that they're afraid of the dentist and they don't even brush their teeth, I don't know. But I think that present, that like, I think as I was talking, I was like, that's what it is. It's easier for people to relate to being present.

 

Kiera Dent (18:36.743)

Agreed.

 

Kiera Dent (18:42.211)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (18:57.558)

Totally. Yes.

 

Kiera Dent (19:04.47)

Agreed. And I'm so glad you said that because ironically, as you were saying, I was like, oh my gosh, it's when I'm present. I'm not there when, because when I'm present, I'm focused on Tiff. I'm focused on that person. But again, it's being present in that moment. Tiff, I think you did a beautiful job of, it's not me guessing where Tiff's going with the conversation so I can respond in the future. It's truly just sitting here listening and asking the questions and being curious to really gain.

 

Tiffanie (19:09.571)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (19:30.77)

a true understanding of that. And I think that that's one of the greatest things we can offer people. And something I've done, this came from another coach that taught me this, when you're not there call yourself out because it becomes entertaining and you can like break the pattern. You can stop yourself from doing it and be like, oh, Tivi, can you go back? Because I was a hundred percent not listening to you. One, it's awkward to have to say that, but two, it forces me to then become more present. And I think asking more questions because I also think if I know I've got to ask questions instead of respond.

 

Tiffanie (19:49.795)

Yeah.

 

Tiffanie (19:55.459)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (20:00.882)

I'm way more in tune with listening than I am because I'm going to be asking more questions to really get a grasp of where they're at. So I think those two things could help you. But agreed with you, Tiff. I'm so glad that you dug into intuition because I think so often people are like, well, they're just intuitive. I can never be that way. I'm just not that way. But it's like, no, everyone actually can because it's being observant. It's being present. It's being aware.

 

Tiffanie (20:18.624)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (20:25.334)

and then it's listening to understand and not to respond. And I will say that I think that this is a practice. I think it's a muscle. I just hired a personal trainer and I'm freaking sore. And I think about this all the time that I'm like, I have muscles I didn't even know existed in my body that I'm like, oh my gosh, that hurts so bad. I did not know my hamstrings could hurt so bad in my entire life until I hired this girl. And I think about that, I'm like, these are muscles that I'm strengthening, just like muscles of being observant. We're strengthening them and it's going to feel awkward. And you're, I mean,

 

Tiffanie (20:34.678)

I'm sorry.

 

Tiffanie (20:53.091)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (20:55.418)

Shoot, the first time I tried my hamstring exercise, I looked like a downright idiot. And Jason and I were giggling about it because he's like, do you think she just watches these videos and makes us look like idiots? Like, I truly thought that that's what she was doing. No, I just wasn't doing the exercise correctly. As soon as I learned how to do it correctly, whole mother, like I hurt for days after I do it. And thinking about when you learn to really listen and observe, not to respond, not to be right, but to understand.

 

Tiffanie (20:58.31)

I'm gonna go to bed.

 

Tiffanie (21:13.524)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (21:21.974)

The world, I think, I feel like you go from black and white picture to full color. And it's a complete different experience in life. I don't know how to explain it, but it just feels like a more rich, a more fulfilled, a more connected. Like I'm saying, I think that my best analogy is going from a black and white picture that you think is gorgeous to this full vibrant, almost immersed experience that you can't even understand until you live it. So just like me with the hamstrings, I had no clue I just was going up and down with a band. And then when she's like, no, no.

 

Tiffanie (21:27.002)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (21:51.702)

Blossom that booty out. And I was like, oh my gosh, I can't walk for a week. I couldn't even understand that at the beginning. And I think it's the same thing with being observant. Until you've understood this, until you've done it, until you've done the work, you're not going to get there. So call yourself out. Be present in the moment. Listen to understand and not to respond. And see how much more you actually hear in this world because you'll hear so much more and you'll feel so much more and you'll see. And you'll become that intuitive person.

 

Tiffanie (21:55.971)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (22:20.406)

because you're actually listening, you're reading the lines as opposed to trying to read between the lines. Those are my last thoughts, Tiff. I don't know if you have any others, but my hamstrings are still sore for the record. Like I'm still sore. So, you know.

 

Tiffanie (22:24.798)

Totally. Yeah. Totally.

 

Tiffanie (22:31.926)

Yeah, no, I think I think it just makes life more fun. Like I have so much fun in every situation that I come across because I'm just like, I feel like I'm like a kid in every everything. I'm just like, what do you what? Why is this that way? Like, why? Why is this happening? Like, let me learn more. And I was reading a book the other day. This reminded me as you were talking, I was reading a book the other day. And it's a it's

 

she's going through therapy and she's like going through all this stuff and she realizes finally the difference between sympathy and empathy. And as you're speaking and you're like being present and like it's just a different experience, that's what it makes me think of is and I think that's another relatable thing, right? Everybody knows what it feels like to give sympathy where you feel sorry for someone like, gosh, I feel so sorry for you. Let me help you. That's not empowering to either one of us, right? But if you can be empathetic, you can give empathy where you're like, wow, I can.

 

Kiera Dent (23:10.524)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (23:28.086)

I can't, I can try, but I truly can't even imagine being in your situation. I can't believe that you're going through that. That's empowering. And that feeling right there of giving empathy rather than sympathy. That's the same feeling that I get in my body. I elicit when I'm present and when I'm really truly connected with someone, it's that empowering feeling of, wow, like I am in this moment right here, right now.

 

Kiera Dent (23:44.672)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (23:56.822)

and you guys can create that anywhere, literally anywhere. I have a doctor who sucks at it. He's so bad at it. He's so bad. And so what I did with him is we got him color-coded those bracelets, right? The like rubber bracelets. They're not rubber bands, but they're bracelets. And every morning, he's got seven, and every morning he's like, I'm gonna do blue today, I'm gonna do red. He picks a color.

 

Kiera Dent (24:11.625)

Mm-hmm.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (24:22.074)

He has to wear that band all day. And when he walks into an operatory, whatever color he chose that day that's on his wrist, he has to find something in every operatory of that color. And he's instantly now in that room. And he's more observant, he's more aware. And he's been doing this now, gosh. I think I've had him doing this for two years, maybe a little longer, literally. And I can always tell when he's gone off the bandwagon because I'm like, bro, your diagnosis is crap.

 

Kiera Dent (24:36.139)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (24:46.274)

Mm-hmm. Now!

 

Tiffanie (24:52.134)

What's going on with this? Where's the you know, where is this your new patients are up? Your diagnosis is still low like your schedule sucks. Where are your bands? He's like I haven't been wearing up. I'm like I know So we all just need to practice and I think that right there, right? That's your that's your hamstring Workout right there is like find something that's gonna just trigger you to be like no I'm actually right here because we all have a really

 

Kiera Dent (24:54.574)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (25:00.526)

Ha!

 

Kiera Dent (25:08.61)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (25:16.482)

really bad habit of distancing ourselves from the present moment and being anywhere else. That's why social media is so fantastic and why it works so well and why it's so relevant and prevalent in the world because it takes us to a place that we're not in. And so we're so used to being outside of our bodies and outside of the moment that we're in. Sometimes we just need something to remind us to be right here. If it's a rubber band on your wrist, a different color every day, like let it be, whatever it is, just find the thing that's going to work for you because being the observational

 

Kiera Dent (25:22.877)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (25:28.885)

Mm-hmm.

 

Tiffanie (25:45.946)

person, it changes your whole life. Your relationships will be different. Your business will be different. Everything, everything will be better.

 

Kiera Dent (25:54.71)

Yeah, I can't agree more. And I think having people like Tiff in your life or having a coach in your life like this to help you. I mean, the band's is such a brilliant idea. I love that idea. And I think that that's something I enjoy as consulting is we try to find a way to help you get there based on who you are, not based on just like textbook. And that's how our consulting has always been and it will forever be is very custom to you as a person and custom to what you guys need. But Tiff, thank you for that. And thanks for, I hope all of you just like.

 

Take the challenge on, let's see if we can get your life to be in like vibrant color as opposed to that black and white and how much more rich and fulfilled you'll be, how much more fun you'll have in life because you're not guessing anymore. So it actually takes the stress out of it and you can truly just be with that person. And it's a habit, it's a practice, it's a muscle that you're going to develop. So I encourage you to try it out. If we can help in any way, reach out hello at thed But Tiff, thanks for being that example to me. Thanks for showing me. Thanks for being a friend who calls me out when I'm not present.

 

I think we all need good friends like that who are also willing to say like, hey, I'll do it to you, Tiff. I like will send you a message on Slack. I'm like, girl, pay attention. Like I'm talking to you and you're like, I'm here, I'm here. And I think we all just need to have people like that will call us out and remind us because it's easy to get distracted in this world. So Tiff, thanks for being on the podcast today. Always enjoy a good podcast with you.

 

Tiffanie (26:56.678)

Hmm.

 

Tiffanie (27:00.985)

I'm sorry.

 

Tiffanie (27:11.171)

Yeah. Thank you. I love being here.

 

Kiera Dent (27:13.979)

Of course. And as always, thanks for listening and we'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team Podcast.