Episode 680: The Illusion of Happy Teams

 There’s an idea out there that holding your team members accountable for their tasks and deliverables creates unhappy participants. Kiera dispels this notion in this episode, sharing her experience seeing this in dental practices across the country, and what actually sends team members running for the hills because of your work system. She also lists out what your practice can do to create and keep happy workers — and avoid artificial harmony.

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Transcript:

0:00:05.8 Kiera Dent: Hey everyone. Welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast. I'm your host Kiera Dent, and I had this crazy idea that maybe I could combine a doctor and a team member's perspective, because let's face it, dentistry can be a challenging profession with those two perspectives. I've been a dental assistant, treatment coordinator, scheduler, filler, office manager, regional manager, practice owner and I have a team of traveling consultants where we have traveled to over 165 different offices, coaching teams. Yep, we don't just understand you, we are you. Our mission is to positively impact the world of dental, and I believe that this podcast is the greatest way I can help elevate teams, grow VIP experiences, reduce stress and create A teams. Welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast.

0:00:50.5 KD: Hello, Dental A Team listeners. This is Kiera and you guys, I hope today is a great day for you. I hope today you're just happy. I hope you're driving with me. Today is car casting day. I'm headed to an office right now, and so one of my favorite things to do when I'm consulting and traveling is car cast with you guys. I warn you... Guys I don't know if you know, but my super human power is I like to sleep, and I get all of my energy from sleeping. And so on the road, sometimes I get really tired, traveling between offices often means that you're in a different time zone, so right now, I'm on East Coast time and I'm used to being on Pacific time. And so my sleep gets real funky. [chuckle]

0:01:34.3 KD: And so podcasting with you guys often actually keeps me awake and it's something that I love to do. So thank you guys for keeping Kiera Dent alive on the road. Podcasting makes my brain think, makes me have a lot of fun with you guys. And it's something that I'm grateful I get to do. And also, I just wanna say thank you for being a part of our podcast family, thank you for sharing our podcast with lots of people out there. Thank you for listening. For tagging us as you guys listen.

0:02:03.8 KD: So today, if you haven't done so, send a picture, where are you today? And I want you to tag Dental A Team and just share what podcast you're on, it's always fun to see where you guys are at on your download journey and just go leave a review if you haven't done so. So tagging us, leaving that review, those things are really how we're able to help on our mission of positively impacting the world of dental in the greatest way possible. So if this podcast has blessed your life, guys, I'm saying a thank you to you for keeping me alive, and then asking you guys if this has helped you to go share this podcast with other people. It means a lot to me, and it's something that you can do to help our podcast reach more offices that you know could benefit. So please share it with someone today, if nothing else. With that I wanted to talk about a topic of the illusion of happy teams.

0:02:53.7 KD: And I think that this is something that you guys are really gonna love. Tiff and I were talking about this the other morning, we were talking about an office and don't worry, I'm gonna jumble it up because whenever I talk about offices, I do like to create on anonymity, so that way we don't exactly know who it is. So don't worry, I'm smashing multiple offices together. So you don't even know who I'm talking about. But Tiff and I were talking the other day about how a lot of times, offices and teams struggle to hold people accountable because they're so afraid of, if I do this, my team's not going to be happy, Kiera. My team's not going to wanna do this. And I actually think that that's an illusion. I think...

0:03:30.7 KD: The other day I was doing leadership traps, and maybe I'll do a podcast around leadership traps that I think we fall into, but I think this is a team and leadership trap of the illusion of a happy team. So when teams are truly happy and there's not this illusion out there, they're actually accountable teams. Now, again, this is where it's like a total paradox, right? You think that if I hold my team accountable, they're going to wanna quit on me. They're not going to wanna stay there, and I actually think that's a total 100% fallacy out there, that's actually not true. Because the worst thing you can do to great team members is tolerate poor performance from bad team players. Not saying that that team player is bad, but their behaviours are not within what we want it to be. And so you tolerating that poor performance is actually hurting your great players.

0:04:19.9 KD: So there's this, like I said, a paradox and illusion that these happy teams, we're actually thinking that they're happy, but the reality is it's just a facade. And so people like... I'm not saying work to the bone, but people don't enjoy being bored, people don't enjoy being lazy, people don't enjoy not knowing what they're supposed to be doing. So this whole idea of if I hold my team accountable, they're not going to be happy is just a story that you tell yourself. And then you're finding evidence to make it true, which is not actually true. You're finding evidence to support your case because you want to make it true when in actuality that's not what's gonna run your team off. What will run your team off is lack of consistency, of not holding people accountable, of not having clear expectations, those things will run your team off. Not holding them accountable. One of my favorite things I love to remind people is empowerment without accountability leads to entitlement. And so there's this whole idea, and I know right now people are super scared and are like, "Kiera, you don't even know how hard it is to hire." And I'm like, "Hey guys, I don't know if you remember, but I'm still in the same boat you are." I don't know if you remember that I also run a business and I also have the great opportunity to hire team members. So I also understand how hard it is to bring on great team members and to retain great team members.

0:05:44.2 KD: And so with that, I just think it's something where we have to look at this and say, "All right, if I don't hold my team accountable or If I don't expect them to help grow our practice, what am I actually doing? What is the true problem that I'm creating?" Because that is where the problem is, that's what's gonna run off your team members. So when people are like, "Kiera I'm having a lot of turnover." I'm like, "Okay, let's go back to the basics." Number one, do we have clear expectations of what does winning the day even look like? What does it look like to win in our practice? Do we have that set up? Do we know we need to hit for our production goals? Do we have job duties for each position? Do we have that set in stone, so our team knows what it looks like to win? And if we can't say yes to that, then I would encourage you, let's start there.

0:06:31.6 KD: Next piece is, do you have regular check-ins with your team? If you don't, again, I might suggest that you look into that because that's how you're actually gonna find out how they're doing. It's not that they actually wanna quit guys, it's that they either don't feel seen, they don't feel heard, their expectations aren't being met.

0:06:48.4 KD: There weren't clear expectations, but it's not about holding people accountable. So when I go... And also, let's just take this down a step further, when offices have team members that are not doing their jobs, that actually creates more stress and strain on the practice, which then creates this whole circle of chaos. Because now we're thinking, "Well, gosh, we can't do that. We've gotta hire somebody else." So then that means there's gonna be more stress on the business because now we have to bring on another teammate. Then that's gonna be less cash flow that we're not producing as high as we need to, and it just becomes truly, in my opinion, a spiral of death, if not caught soon enough. So for your team it's just like I said, it's this illusion of happiness, and I walk into offices and it's... In Patrick Lencioni's book Five Dysfunctions of Teams, he talks about it being artificial harmony. And artificial harmony is when we're not really saying what needs to be said. We're not actually telling teammates when they need to rise up or how they can change. We're not having clear expectations. There is truly what is called Artificial Harmony. You guys know it. Think about when you go to your in-laws house [chuckle] I love my in-laws, but there is time when its artificial harmony when maybe I don't wanna eat what they're making for dinner.

0:08:04.7 KD: That's artificial harmony when I'm like, "Yeah, this looks super great." And in reality, I have no desire to eat anything that they're having, but I'm not willing to say what I wanna say because I don't have true trust to be vulnerable at that level with my in-laws. Now, my question for you is, how is your team? Do you guys say what needs to be said? Or do you guys sit there in artificial harmony? That artificial harmony, I think people like to think that they're actually happy and that their team is happy, when in reality guys, you are just one bad day away from people quitting. And it's because we chose not to create clear expectations. It's because we chose not to be up front with people, it's because we chose not to tell people what we needed them to do.

0:08:48.7 KD: Those were choices because we thought artificial harmony was better than true accountability and true honesty and trust. So when you really look at this, I want you guys to think about, number one, do I actually say what needs to be said to my teammates and to each other? Do I say it or in meetings, do I sit there and nod my head, but in reality, I actually just go gossip with someone else? And I know we don't like to admit that we gossip, but guys, if you say yes to something in a meeting, but then you go to someone else and disagree with it, that's gossiping.

0:09:22.7 KD: So do you actually say what needs to be said? Do you have trust and transparency with your teammates and with your leaders? I can tell you I have trust, like pretty full trust with probably two team members on my team, where I know I can say pretty much anything to them and not worry about what's gonna be said. I don't mind telling them when anything's changed.

0:09:45.2 KD: I have really honest trust. But I have nine team members, so there's six more 'cause I'm number three of that duo, there's six people on my team that I don't have true trust and vulnerability with. So how do we get that? We start saying what needs to be said, we start speaking honestly to them, we start saying the things that need to be said, we start having clear expectations instead of just holding back. And you can start it out and say, "Hey, I'm trying this. I'm trying to speak more truthfully of what I'm actually feeling, and I know it might land wrong. And so just know this is what I'm working on, and I'm asking for you to give me feedback on how it lands for you and how I can say it better." That way, the other person on the other side can be a little gentler as you're starting to practice through this. But really look at your team, think about each team member, and do you actually say what needs to be said in front of them, or do you hold back?

0:10:37.7 KD: Then number two, are you actually asking for those one-on-ones and checking in with each person? Now, if you don't have true trust in vulnerability with them, it's gonna be really hard to get those one-on-ones for them to tell you what's really going on. So you don't have this artificial illusion of a happy team, but you truly know the pulse on your team.

0:10:54.9 KD: So that would be my second piece, check in with them, ask them. Why are we guessing how they're feeling rather than just truly asking them in a place where we've actually developed trust to where they'll tell you. Can your team tell you when they're not happy? Or is it something where they just need to quit? The answer for me is, I've actually had some team members think that they have to quit and I'm like, "Do you actually wanna quit? Do you not like our company? Is it that? And they're like, "No, I just felt like I didn't know how to say that I needed help with this." Well, to me, I know now that that team member does not have trust with their leader. Because if they would have, they wouldn't have thought that they had to send in a resignation letter, they don't wanna actually quit. So I would ask you, does your team feel confident that they can have those conversations with you or are they just going to give you, "Hey. I'm leaving, notice," because you've got artificial harmony. That's how you know.

0:11:46.0 KD: And any time you get "blind-sided by someone quitting," you need to check and see what did we do to make it to where it was artificial harmony rather than knowing. 'Cause I feel just like team members should be able to expect like, I'm not going to fire anybody without them knowing, I would expect team members to let me know that they're on their way out and not just give me a notice. Team members, I'm gonna speak to you really directly from an owner's perspective, it gives us a lot of fear and anxiety wondering if you're going to quit on us. It's very terrifying. Just like you're scared that we'll be able to fire you.

0:12:19.0 KD: So I'm like, if both of us can agree that, "Hey, I'm never gonna fire you without you knowing. You'll be on at least a 30-day probation." And any team member who wants to quit, can you not say that, "Hey, I'm going to be up front and honest with you that I'm going to let you know if I'm having struggles." That way, I don't just come and give you a notice of, "Hey, I'm out of here within two weeks." It can go both ways, and that can then create safety and security on both sides.

0:12:44.4 KD: I hope you guys are understanding how this works for both sides of the coin. If both people know, if both people can have that true, authentic trust and transparency, that's when you actually have a true happy team. You could take this into relationships, 'cause I think so many of us can relate to relationships. Do you have that true trust and authenticity with your spouse to where you know what they tell you and what you tell them is actually what you mean? We're not reading between the lines. We're not trying to guess what the other person is trying to tell us, we actually know what they're saying is true. Do you have that in your relationships? What about with your parents? What about with your siblings? I could say with my mom, yeah, for sure. With my dad, kind of. With my siblings, not really. I'm just gonna smile. Smile and wave, right? I'm not gonna ruffle any feathers there. Why? Because with my siblings, I don't see them that much. This is me justifying to you guys, in case you're wondering. I'm hoping you hear it. I'm justifying. My family is my family, I should be able to have honest conversations with them.

0:13:47.3 KD: But for some reason in this moment, Kiera Dent does not think that it's worthwhile to invest in her siblings. She thinks, "Hey, I can have artificial harmony 'cause all I do is really see you about once a month on Zoom, and then in real life I see you maybe once or twice a year." So is it really worth rocking the boat? Depends. Depends on what kind of a relationship I wanna have with my siblings. Do I wanna be close to where I know I could call them at the drop of a hat and tell them everything? Or do I wanna have a superficial relationship with them? That's a decision for me to make. It's a decision for you to make with your team members, with your family members, with your spouse or significant other.

0:14:23.9 KD: Those are decisions to make. What about with your children? How are you with them? This topic right here is not just for teams. I think teams allow us a great place to practice on each other with people that we're only tied to through a universal work. We're not tied to them through family ties, we're not tied to them through marital or children ties. We're tied to them solely because of the proximity of where we work. But I think those people can actually teach us the most because equally we don't have as much "vested in them." But if you give it a chance, you can.

0:14:58.0 KD: And this is how you prevent that constant team turnover. This is how you prevent, is by having true trust and vulnerability and really asking, saying what needs to be said. That way you're not just like, "Well, I'm gonna quit." Or, "Well, I'm just gonna fire them." It's this illusion, and I wanna let you know, teams actually thrive when there's accountability, when there are clear expectations, and then they're allowed the autonomy within those two parameters. Like I said, set the expectation, give them the road map of where we're headed, and then let them be creative. To me, I feel like it's... I need to create the outline of a colouring page, right?

0:15:38.1 KD: So let's pretend we're drawing a picture of a sunflower, I'm gonna create the structure and the picture. So I'm gonna say, "Okay, it's on an 8.5 by 11. It's going to be a picture of a sunflower. And from there, team, you get the creative liberty." I don't care if you paint those petals yellow, I don't care if you paint them pink, I don't care if you paint them black. You get to choose the colours, you get to choose the type of crayons. You get to choose if it's crayon or marker or construction paper. I don't care how you choose to colour it. We're doing it on an 8.5 by 11 and it's a sunflower picture.

0:16:09.1 KD: Just like within your practice. I don't care how we wanted to do this amount of production based on what our hourly providers are, this is what we can produce within this practice and based on industry standards, and this is the profitability margin to make sure that our practice is profitable. Beyond that, it's up to you guys to determine what's our culture? How's it going to be? What do we wanna do? What things do we wanna try? Those are decisions your team can help make. But if you don't have clear expectations of what that person's supposed to do, job duties. Again, that's the 8.5 by 11 and that we're doing a sunflower. Here's your job duty, you are a scheduler and these are your metrics of how you're going to know if you're crushing it or if you're not crushing it.

0:16:48.9 KD: Now how you do it, how you choose it, that's all up to you. Here are the expectations and the results I expect, and you're gonna move forward from there. And here are our core values to live by. That's how you set the parameters, and then let your team colour however they wanna do it on their own.

0:17:05.6 KD: That is how you allow a team to have true harmony, this is how you set expectations. This is how you're able to grow a practice, these are the things that get rid of the artificial harmony and start to create a truly happy team. If you guys want help with that, 'cause I know sometimes these conversations can be awkward, sometimes it's hard if you haven't been used to having this type of a conversation. Sometimes this can be a zone where you just feel very inadequate, and if that's the case, reach out [email protected]. That's why I made Dental A Team guys, is to give you guys the tools and the tips and the structure to help you be successful, even if it's not something you're naturally already born into this world with. Most of us weren't.

0:17:47.2 KD: And so if you're in that boat saying, "Gosh, that sounds really great. I don't even know where to start." Reach out, [email protected]. Or click on our website, the dentalateam.com, click book or call. I'd love to chat with you, I'd love to help you. If nothing else from that call, you will get tips, I will help you. Our team will help you at least give some type of tip. So reach out, I'd love to help you.

0:18:06.9 KD: And today, guys, commit that you are not going to have the illusion of a happy team, but a team that you truly do know is happy. That you know that they're thriving, and a team can only be happy and thriving if the business is happy and thriving as well. It goes hand-in hand. It's like peanut butter and jelly. Unless you're allergic to peanut butter, then do almond butter, all right? But that's how this works out.

0:18:28.4 KD: So I want you guys to try reach out if we can, but today commit. You're no longer gonna live an artificial harmony in the areas of your life, you're gonna have true relationships with true commitment, that way you guys can thrive. All right, guys, as always, thanks for listening and I'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team Podcast.

0:18:46.8 KD: And that wraps it up for another episode of The Dental A Team Podcast. Thank you so much for listening and we'll talk to you next time.

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