Episode 650: Stressed? There’s a Solution For That

We all have major stressors in our lives. In this episode, Kiera shares her own experience with recent trials, and proposes a plan of action to fight through the hard stuff. The steps:

1. Brain dump: Write down factors causing stress in your life.

2. Identify: What’s the biggest one?

3. Find the exit strategy: Who can help you with your stressor?

4. Go to work: Make the call, send the email, sign up for the class, have the conversation.

Deciding happiness is your baseline will inspire the realization that you are allowed to live a life you love.

Episode resources:

Reach out to Kiera 

Subscribe to The Dental A-Team podcast

Become Dental A-Team Platinum!

Review the podcast

Transcript:

0:00:05.6 Kiera Dent: Hey everyone, welcome to the Dental A-Team podcast. I'm your host, Kiera Dent, and I have this crazy idea that maybe I could combine a doctor and a team member's perspective because let's face it, dentistry can be a challenging profession. With those two perspectives, I've been a dental assistant, treatment coordinator, scheduler, filler, office manager, regional manager, practice owner, and I have a team of traveling consultants where we have traveled to over 165 different offices coaching teams. Yep. We don't just understand you, we are you. Our mission is to positively impact the world of dental. And I believe that this podcast is the greatest way I can help elevate teams grow VIP experiences, reduce stress, and create A-teams. Welcome to The Dental A-Team Podcast.

0:00:51.4 KD: Hello, Dental A-Team listeners. This is Kiera and you guys, I hope today is just this awesome magical day for you. I hope you're loving it and I hope you truly do remember that guys, guess what? We are so blessed to be working, in my opinion, in the best industry you could ever ask to work for. So guys today I wanted to dive into just kinda a fun topic. This is going to be life for you guys. So you know, sometimes we'll talk dentistry, sometimes we'll talk life because I don't believe that you can have one without the other. I think we need to grow you guys as people. We need to make you have the most incredible lives you can possibly have because when we're happy as individuals, we're better at work, we're better employees, we're better dentists, we're better bosses, we're better spouses, we're better family members.

0:01:34.5 KD: So let's make you guys the best that you can be. Guys, if this podcast has blessed your life in any way, and I'm going to start sharing reviews every single week. So if you wanna be highlighted on next week's podcast, be sure to go leave a review. Do it on the Apple one. That's the one that I'll be pulling from. So head on over to the Dental A-Team on the Apple. If you want me to read it, you can always email in. If you don't listen on Apple you can email, [email protected]. But I wanna start reading a review from a fan and a listener. So right now guys, I am pulling it up. I wanna read a review that just came through and guys, again, if you wanna be one of these people, please by all means send it in.

0:02:12.0 KD: I would love to hear from you because this is going to make all of us even better. If you guys don't know, your reviews are the way more dentists and dental offices and dental practices are able to find you guys. This is, last name Mendez, who wrote a review. So thanks. Shout out to last name Mendez, "Listened to the podcast during my break and it helped me completely change the way I felt about my job. So entertaining". Thank you so much. If you wanna be the highlighted review, please reach out, [email protected] or go leave it on Apple. I really wanna start doing shoutouts to our listener, start to give you guys those kudos and appreciation. And with that today guys, our topic today is going to be, How to Truly Be Happy in Your Career. So I feel... [chuckle] I can speak about this authentically.

0:02:56.7 KD: I feel like I can come to you guys with so much knowledge and goodness, not because I think I'm an expert on it, you guys. I haven't studied happiness. There are so many books, The Happiness Project, solve for Happy, 10% Happier, those are three of my top favorite books on this topic. Untethered Soul, can help you figure out why you're not happy, but a lot of these things I feel are coming from real life boots on the ground experience. What I found is last year guys, I was up against the walls of depression, and I've shared about it a little bit on the podcast. When I gave the, the question of, what is really making you guys like, did 2022 win or did you win [chuckle] Which one was it? And when I, when I talk about that, I feel 2022 in a lot of ways business, if you look up my numbers, you'd be like holy cow.

0:03:44.5 KD: They grew so much. They had so many great things and on paper it looked like I should have had one of the best years. We bought our first house guys. I lived in an apartment for 18 years. I lived with my parents for 18 years. It's really weird to own a house guys. I still feel like it's my mom's house. I don't really know how to be a homeowner. Any tips, email them in. [email protected]. Jason and I, we did IVF last year and while it was really hard, we had three failed IVF cycles. I'm not making as many eggs and I truly was devastated. If any of you know any awesome IVF doctors I would prefer West Coast, I'm looking for Utah, California, Nevada. It doesn't matter about insurance 'cause I'm an out-of-pocket, but if any of you know, I figure why not reach out to the, the podcast family.

0:04:26.2 KD: But if you looked my life on paper looked pretty darn great. I went to Bali at the end of the year, I hit my 7th continent. And again, if you look on paper, my life was pretty awesome. And honestly I felt really angry and frustrated of, "Kiera you have everything. Why are you not happier?" I even went to a seminar... [chuckle] Called Happiness... [chuckle] It was, it was, Happiness Journey or The Journey to Happiness. It was a five-day seminar guys on how to be happier. When we talk about this, it really was interesting to me. And I went to Bali and I watched people in Bali and honestly they're way happier than a lot of the people I know in the US and yet we have way more than people in Bali do. I started doing this assessment and honestly when I was in Bali guys, I felt like I was able to release so much of the hurt, the sadness, the devastation of not becoming a mom.

0:05:21.7 KD: Guys I know there's adoption and a bajillion other things for me though, I had this, my mindset on I really wanted to be a mom where I carried the baby, but then I also didn't know if I really wanted to change and transform my body. Don't worry, it's all these internal questions that I have. I think you guys could probably relate them, I wanna own a business, but I don't know if I really wanna have the stress of a business or I wanna be an office manager. But I don't know if I have the skillset to become that or I wanna be a lead hygienist, but I don't know if I really want the stress of that. I think we can all relate in a lot of different ways. And when I was in Bali, I released a lot of that and I feel I had that, that moment of surrender.

0:05:56.0 KD: And I truly felt so happy, so liberated. I just felt I would say complete and whole. And I started thinking about, well what was different? And one, I was with Jason, that was a lot of fun. Two, I didn't have the stress of the business. Awesome, kudos to the team. They were taking care of it. But really I think it was that I was seeing beauty again. I was out being creative and for me, my happy space is to be creative, to be rocking and rolling and to be creating and to evolving and to be... That's why I love to travel. But I thought, "Okay, there's gotta be a way that I can have happiness all the time". Because I just read a book, the Happiest Man Alive. I'm pretty confident that's the name by Eddie Jaku. Guys, top one if not two books of my life.

0:06:44.6 KD: Utterly change it. It's a Nazi Holocaust survivor, honest-to-goodness, most life-changing book I think I've ever read. I was really pondering this 'cause I'd read that book, I'd gone to this happiness thing. I'd read all these books on happiness. I had felt sad. I go to Bali, I release it all. I have one of the most incredible trips of my life. Like we're talking again, top one if not two trips of my life. Antarctica's the only one rivalling it right now. But I started thinking... I come home from all that. My team did amazing. All these things are in play. Business is rocking. We have raving fans. And guys, I hit wicked depression as soon as I got home. Thinking about, "Do I really even wanna keep doing this? What does it even matter?" And I remember calling my mom at midnight, I don't know if you guys follow TWitch.

0:07:33.9 KD: TWitch committed suicide. His wife Allison, they are on Dancing With the Stars. And I, I do have a love for them. I actually met them at Disneyland and I took a picture with their family. And to think about that, I started talking to my mom. I'm like, "Okay, there's gotta be signs, there's gotta be patterns. I believe that there are patterns, there are things that come up to it". So many of us outwardly express happiness, but internally are really struggling. And I don't think that this is just reserved for business owners. I think team members of every level have this. And I think this is becoming more and more and more a product of, of our society, of our lifestyles. I read another great book. I felt it was a little over the top religious. If you can get past that. Again, I'm a pretty religious person too.

0:08:18.0 KD: But it's called Find Your People by Jenny Phillips. And I realized, "Oh my gosh, I'm isolating myself from so many people rather than bringing people into my world." And so I was just like, "How could I have this pendulum swing of everything looks so high on paper and yet I feel like I don't even wanna get out of bed tomorrow." And I called my mom, it was midnight. Kudos to my mom, guys, she will be a podcast star. I am gonna bring her on the podcast. I feel like it's, it's due time you guys meet the woman who has inspired me so much. But I called her and I just said, "Mom, I don't know why I'm so unhappy." You would think that I would have all this happiness. Sure there are things that have come that have been hard.

0:08:58.9 KD: All of us have that. And I started thinking about it and my mom and I realized a couple of things. Number one, my biggest stress was the business and I didn't have an exit strategy. I would say for all business owners, figure out what is your greatest stress? If it's cash flow, guys, guess what? Dental A-Team can fix that. If it's team and systematization and accountability, there are coaches. We are one of them. There are other ones. There are people that can solve that problem for you like that, that can be taken away. For me, I've never had an exit strategy. You guys, as dental practice owners, you can sell your practice. If life really gets that hard, you can sell it for me at the consulting company maybe, but not super. It's not something that you build a consulting company to sell it.

0:09:38.0 KD: You typically don't have an exit plan. And I have this stress of what if something happened? What if I couldn't continue to deliver? What am I gonna do with all of my clients? So I needed an exit strategy, which I now have and it's gonna serve all of our clients. It's going to continue to serve you. But if something happens and I get to a spot where I need to vacate, I do have an option now. So that was one of my biggest stressors that was causing me to just feel this undue stress. And once that was eliminated, the happiness was able to return. The second thing is, I do believe that progress equals happiness. So looking around my life, a lot of things weren't moving forward. Things that were easy for me were moving forward, but the hard things weren't. I realized that, that was there.

0:10:20.8 KD: And I did a podcast on this a little while ago and what I found is every time I'm feeling stressed, depressed, there are solutions to it. I just have to want to find it. Sometimes I want to feel miserable, sometimes I wanna be sad. But at the end of the day, what I really wanna feel is happy all the time. And what I found is that doesn't just come by happenstance. You find it, you create it and you cherish it. It doesn't just happen guys, happiness is not just something. But I do believe that it is a habit. I do believe that we can build momentum. I do believe, especially coming from someone who has been depressed and I never even knew what depression was to where I was clinically depressed and they wanted to put me on antidepressants and I said, let me try on my own 'cause I believe I can change my mind.

0:11:04.2 KD: I don't believe that, that's for everybody. I think that antidepressants and medications can truly help. And I don't think that there's any shame in it.

0:11:19.8 KD: Have you guys ever wondered what the true secrets of those multimillion-dollar practices are? Who feel like they just have it together? Their teams are awesome, the doctors aren't stressed out, they have raving fun patients and they feel like they've got their lives. Well if you wanna know those secrets, you better be joining us April 28th and 29th where we are releasing the secrets of the multimillion-dollar practices from lifestyle to relationships to teams. And it is a full team virtual event. That's right guys, you can bring your entire team for one price. Early bird pricing is going on right now. Normal ticket pricing is 999 right now guys, I am saving 50 spots. And when they're gone, they're gone.

0:11:49.4 KD: So right now guys, from today until March 31st, you are going to get early bird pricing. And then when they're gone, they're gone. So I'm not promising until March 31st. I'm saying the first 50 offices to sign up are going to get to bring their entire team for nine CE credits. Full team event Friday, Leadership Day on Saturday. Speaker lineup, Paul Goodman, Zeke from Swell, Tiffany Trader, Britney Stone, Dana Moelsa, Tina Voer. Our whole team is coming in. Plus I'm bringing in financial advisors, CPAs, where they're literally going to tell you the secrets of the multimillion dollar practice. So right now, head on over to, thedentalateam.com/summit2023 and use coupon code, E-bird 2023. That's right. E-bird 2023. You guys are going to get first access to this and I would hate for you to miss it. Bring your team, learn the secrets of the multimillion-dollar practice and become one. Join us this year, April 28th and 29th. I can't wait to see you guys there.

0:12:54.3 KD: Having coaches, having people to be there. Some people say when I coach them, they're like, "Kiera, you should have been a life coach." And I'm like, "Honestly, I don't believe that I can do dentistry without coaching on life because they're both, you are not just a dentist or an office manager. You are a person, you are a person first. And so let's meet those needs. So for me, I'm gonna give you guys this to be tactical. All right, Are you guys ready? I know I love tactical. So what it is is I want you to break this down and I want you to write down what is causing you the most stress. Okay, don't solve. We often try to get into these modes where we're just like ready to go. We're wanting to solve right now is not the time to solve right now is to vomit all of this stress out of your brain.

0:13:33.5 KD: Okay? That's the first thing. The second thing we're gonna do from that is I should do number two. There you guys go. The second thing, so we're gonna brain dump as number one. Second thing we're gonna do is we are going to then look to see what is the one that's causing the absolute most stress. And it's okay, you're probably gonna swirl. You're gonna do a figure A of okay it's this and then you're gonna loop and then it's this and then you're gonna come back and it's this and that's okay. But what is the thing truly keeping you up at night? What is that? All right. For me it was I didn't have an exit strategy. I felt trapped. Guys, the only exit strategy I could come up with, and this is going to get dark for a minute and I just wanna be honest with you 'cause I think so many times we look at leaders and mentors and I feel on the podcast I am leading you guys and I'm never gonna sugarcoat.

0:14:17.7 KD: And you have my word for that. Some people sugarcoat. And how can you even measure up to a sugarcoat? You can't. Guys, I literally thought my exit strategy was I had to die. I saw no other out. I didn't think I could tell. And this isn't even my own pride and ego. 'Cause before it used to be like I would just be ashamed and embarrassed. Now I was like, I truly don't know how to get out of here other than dying. Well that's not a great option guys. It's not a great option for any of you. And some of you might feel that way. I knew for me I did, that was causing me my anxiety guys. That was causing my stress, that was causing me like when anything went bad with the business, I thought well great, now I'm gonna have to die 'cause there's no way to get out of it.

0:14:58.2 KD: And that might sound dramatic. That's real. Those are my real feelings. And when I saw what happened to Twitch, I was like, oh shoot, this is real and it can be so fast. And I know I've had clients call me and they felt the same way. So number one, I decided that's no longer an option. So let's figure out what our bigger, biggest stressor is and then let's see what the solution is. For me, I just had to figure out an exit strategy. All right, great. I came up with that talking to my mom at midnight and we are able to solve that for some of you, you might not have mentors, you might not have people, you might need someone outside the box to figure it out for you 'cause you're too close to it. So if it can be on systems or overhead or cash flow, guys, I'm a freaking wizard at that.

0:15:30.2 KD: I will teach you how to have massive cash flow in your business. I will literally teach you how this year I had over $200,000 excess from taxes that I don't need to pay. That's not loopholes. That was called. I freaking figured out how to pay taxes, figured it out, figured out how to plan for it, figured out how to work myself outta the business to have it cash flow profit. That's why I feel confident that I can coach any person on how to do this. I've done it for myself and I've done it for hundreds of other practices. If it's stressed that you can't be with your family and you feel like you're failing as a parent, there's a solution for that. If the stress is coming from that, you don't know how to hold your team accountable, guess what? There's a solution for that.

0:16:17.2 KD: Whatever it is, there's either someone who knows how to do it for you or there's a solution. And sometimes when we're in that spot and it's preventing us from happiness, we've gotta step back and bring someone else in to look at it. So that would be my third piece is who can help you with this? And guys don't say nobody because you know somebody, yesterday I couldn't freaking figure out an org chart and I build org charts for a living for people. So guess what I did? I stopped, walked away from the problem, sat there and thought, "Who do I know? Who do I know that could help me?" Instantly the idea started flowing 'cause now it's no longer my problem. I can find someone else to help me with it. Solution is not perfect, but at least it's on track. So now the next piece is we've made our list.

0:16:58.7 KD: We've looked at everything, we've figured out what's truly causing us the biggest problem. And now we've figured out who could help us. Do I need to hire a coach? Do I need to talk to my CPA? Do I need to figure out taxes? Do I need to read a book and educate myself on this more? What is really the issue, for me guys, it was honestly just putting pictures up on the house. It sounds silly but my house felt like a cold sterile place and I felt so alone. That was second piece. So number one, I'd feel like I can't escape the business. Number two, I'm feeling alone in this isolated house. That's awesome. But I have no pictures on the wall cause I'm scared of messing up. So I hung some pictures, hung the freaking picture 'cause I realized guess what?

0:17:34.8 KD: Life is way too short, let's hang the pictures. And number three, I found a friend, I didn't have any friends, I didn't feel like I had any friends, I didn't feel like I had anybody outside of work that I could chat with. And I needed that, guys I'm a social butterfly. Those were my needs. Those were the things causing me stress. And I created a plan. Then I executed and reading extreme ownership, which we just did as a team. Extreme ownership. I loved in there that they say discipline equals freedom. So then you've got the plan, you figured it out, you know who you need to call, what are you going to do? For me it was, I started actually making progress. I hung the pictures, I had the plan of what I was going to do. I built a trust so that when, in case anything ever happens to me, the business and my clients are taken care of.

0:18:18.1 KD: 'Cause that was causing me stress. I executed, I took action. There was someone who just came to me and they said, "Kiera, I am out of money. I have a lot of debt. I don't know what to do". Guys, we literally excel, spread sheeted this sucker out, found solutions, figured things out, mitigated, solved it. This person will be a 100% out of debt by earliest June, latest October, and they're going to save 24,000 in a year. Somebody who is just like obliterated by debt needed a plan. I feel like the way to solve for happy, the way to be happy all the time and it's not always going to be there. And that's okay, is number one, decide right now that happiness is your baseline. That's who you wanna be. That's what you're going to do and that's what you're gonna solve for.

0:19:04.5 KD: Number two, let's figure out what that freaking stress is. Number three, let's find out what the top stressor really is. What is the root cause? What is the real stress of your problems at night? And let's not mole about it in our heads, let's actually put it on paper. And then who do you know that can help you? And then after that, go to work, get it done. Make the phone call schedule. Guys, was it expensive to make a trust? Yeah, I've got a bill over here for five grand. That wasn't super thrilling for me. But guess what? That protects my business and I gotta choose my heart. Is it harder to go spend $5,000 to build the trust and protect my business and my clients? Or is it harder to have the stress every single night? 'Cause I don't wanna do it. What's the harder piece?

0:19:42.5 KD: Is it harder to sit there and not know how you're going to pay yourself? Or is it harder to take that humility pill, call someone who knows how to help you? Is it harder to sit there and say, "I don't have friends" or go join a gym class, which I've also done. I can't wait. I'm gonna look like a freaking idiot guys. But guess what? That is progress and progress equals happiness because then you start to build momentum of progress and solutions and that's what you're craving. So guys, if I can help you, if our team can serve you, if our coaches can help get you out of that rot, email us, [email protected]. You can reach out to me guys. I would love to because this is what I'm passionate about. I need a coach. My mom, thankfully is a great coach for me. But also I've outgrown her in a lot of ways.

0:20:23.6 KD: And I need somebody who can actually execute in the, in the zone who's truly an expert, who can really give me that solution. So if we can help you, awesome. And if not baseline and commit that happiness is your baseline. That you deserve to be happy, that you are given this amazing life with these challenges to help you become the ultimate version of yourself. That is what this life is about, you guys. And I am going to sit here with you and I'm gonna rally you, but you have to take ownership. I had to take ownership that what was really causing my stress is I didn't have a plan. And whose fault is that? That's mine. And I need to either call someone or figure it out. My house not being done, guys I even have a friend who's a designer who gave me all the plans.

0:21:05.7 KD: I just need to put the hole in the wall, execute and take true ownership and then commit. You're gonna go to work. Working out has been a huge saver as well. Working out, I read a post that said physical exercise is one of the best cures for depression. And it's crazy because you get those endorphins, you get that rush. And I'm not saying that depression can be solved with all this hoopla. What I'm saying is, here's some tacticals. Also, don't be afraid to reach out for help. I have doctors, I have therapists, I go and see other people. It's not just willpower 'cause willpower's not gonna get you anywhere. Willpower is going to burn out. We're talking for the long haul. So if we can help you, I would love to help you. Don't be afraid and just know you've got someone rooting for you and you deserve to be happy.

0:21:47.9 KD: You can have it all. You can have a thriving business, you can have a thriving marriage, you can have a thriving relationship, you can have thriving kids and you can be happy. To me, that's what this life is all about, is figuring out how to do it. And for me, I wanna figure out how to do it sooner. And I believe it's a choice, I believe it's a journey, I believe it's a process, and I believe it's a skill that we learn. I don't believe we're just born this way. I believe that life shapes us. Life happens for us, not to us. All right guys, as always, thanks for listening and I'll catch you next time on the Dental A-Team Podcast. And that wraps it up for another episode of the Dental A-Team Podcast. Thank you so much for listening and we'll talk to you next time.