Episode 694: If You Met Yourself…

 Kiera comes to this episode with an invitation for listeners to self-assess: If you met yourself, would you like you? She talks about heroes, their attributes, and where each of us stack up.

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Transcript:

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0:00:05.8 Kiera Dent: Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast. I'm your host, Kiera Dent, and I had this crazy idea that maybe I could combine a doctor and a team member's perspective, because let's face it, dentistry can be a challenging profession with those two perspectives. I've been a dental assistant, treatment coordinator, scheduler, filler, office manager, regional manager, practice owner, and I have a team of traveling consultants where we have traveled to over 165 different offices coaching teams. Yep, we don't just understand you, we are you. Our mission is to positively impact the world of dental, and I believe that this podcast is the greatest way I can help elevate teams, grow VIP experiences, reduce stress, and create A teams. Welcome to the Dental A Team Podcast.

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0:00:50.8 KD: Hello, Dental A Team listeners. This is Kiera, and I hope you guys are just having a great day today. I hope that wherever you are, you just remember, this is your freaking life, guys. You get to live the life you want. You get to choose. There are not many things that separate people in life other than choices. It's your choice. You get to determine how you view things, how you see things, how you show up. You get to choose that, and that was one of the greatest blessings and the greatest curses, because it's all you. And so, of course, you can have people that are here for you, of course, you can have mentors, but at the end of the day, it's all you. So I hope you are choosing to be awesome. I hope you are choosing to be someone that if you met yourself, you'd be proud to know them. You'd love to know them. You'd wanna hang out with them. You would be inspired by who they are.

0:01:42.9 KD: These are often questions I ask myself. In case you wanna know the inner thoughts of Kiera Dent over here, I sometimes ask myself, "Kiera, if you met yourself, would you wanna be friends with you? If you met yourself, would you wanna work for you? If you met yourself, would you actually wanna hang out with you?" And this is where we could be dark and mean to ourselves, so let's not go that way. It's also a great way to assess. I don't think I'm the greatest friend. [laughter] I think I could do a lot better of being intentional when I'm in a space with someone. I feel I'm often very distracted and have a busy mind, and so that might be a zone. However, I think I'm a real good time. I think I'm very fun. I think I'm a very intentional friend, and so that side of me, I would absolutely love. The side of me being more present, I think I could definitely ramp that up a little bit.

0:02:33.6 KD: So I want you guys to do a self-assessment inventory of yourself. If you met yourself, would you wanna be friends with you? Truly? Are you someone that you're proud of? I remember, this is something that has stuck with me for so long. I did a service mission trip with Midwestern University in Arizona, the school where I used to work, and all those dentists, shout out to all of you listening. I love and adore you all. Truly, you are the reason why Dental A Team exists. You were the passion, you were the motivation, realizing I needed to create something to support all of you. So Midwestern family, definitely shout outs to all of you. But I remember, at a mission trip, I went to Tonga with them and we did dentistry in Tonga, which was super awesome and such a cool experience.

0:03:19.8 KD: I remember, one of the doctors there, we were all sitting there at night. It was kind of fun. At the end of every day, we'd all get together and we'd share and we'd chit chat and it was a good time. And I remember one time, we were talking in the group and, I hope this doctor's okay with me sharing. I won't say her name, but I remember sitting there and we were all talking about who our heroes were. And she said that her hero was her dad. And I remember someone followed up and said, "Why is your dad your hero?" And she said, "He always did the right thing, always." And I've thought about that so much. And so, it's funny today, I was actually throwing something away in the trash. I was throwing away a sock because I hate when socks get holes, guys. Throw those suckers out. My grandma would always knit them and darn them and had a whole basket of socks with holes. It's fine, if you wanna do that, do that. But for me, I cannot stand them.

0:04:13.0 KD: So Jason handed me a sock while he was doing the laundry. So I went to throw it away and I missed the trash can. And you couldn't see it with the naked eye, and I literally thought, "Kiera, you're better than that." And that's my go-to thought, of, "Kiera, you're better than that." So I walked back in, grabbed it, threw it in the trash. And honestly, I think about "you're better than that" because of this doctor saying that her dad always did the right thing. Always. And so that's my go-to, of, "Kiera, you're better than that." And so for you guys, when you're thinking about this, are you someone that if you met, you could say that about yourself or whatever your hero is? So think about your hero. Are you living up to that standard? And this is just a moment for you guys to self-reflect and to assess. Because I believe in life, so much of who we are in our businesses and our teams and what we're doing are because of who we are.

0:05:06.1 KD: So I want you to self-assess today, who are you? Are you someone that you would actually be proud to know? Are you someone that's living up to who you wanna be? So another way to look at this is if you were to list off, let's just think about who one of your heroes are. Maybe you got to have three of them. You're welcome to have up to three. So just think, right now, who are some of the heroes in your life? So for me, my mom, she really is one of my honest to goodness heroes. Let me just go back. My mom and dad truly are incredible people. I have amazing parents that I think have raised me so well. We all know, Kiera Dent is obsessed with Tony Robbins. So Tony Robbins is definitely one of my heroes, one of my mentors.

0:05:48.4 KD: And then if I'm going for a third one, I haven't thought about this, so this is gonna be real time. Another hero of mine, gosh, there's so many that I could think of but I'm like, who's someone that when I think of them I really want to be like them? Someone who makes me wanna be better. Someone who, when I hang out with them, I leave and I'm going, "Gosh, that person is just so great." I'm trying to think. So I'm giving you guys... I have so many people like this and I'm trying to think, who is that person? I got it. I have a friend who I really, really, really respect and admire and I just think that they are awesome on so many different levels and I think they show up so well.

0:06:29.1 KD: Now, I just listened four people. I kind of cheated. I told you to just think of three. I definitely always change the rules. If you ever become a member of Dental A Team, or you want to know the inside workings of Dental A Team, my team will tell you, whenever Kiera makes up a game, I change the rules all the time. Yeah, guys, 'cause I'm making it up on the spot. That's what's happening here. I don't podcast with a script over here. This is rifted from the brain train over here. So with that, think about these heroes. What do you like about them? Of course, it's not everything. My parents, I love them. I don't love everything about them nor do I want to be everything that they are. But just list off the characteristics of these people that you just thought about.

0:07:08.9 KD: So, for my mom, things I love about my mom, my mom is the most thoughtful person you will ever meet. She remembers things about people. She thinks about people. She just sent me the cutest little things that says, "I love you more than jelly beans," 'cause I do love jelly beans, but not gross jelly beans. We're talking Starburst jelly beans, certain jelly bellies. Not all flavors are equal. I will definitely say that buttered popcorn, disgusting. But overall, I really do love jelly beans. And it was one of the cutest things 'cause my mom knows I actually love jelly beans. So it was a cute little decoration she sent me. My mom is so thoughtful. She will think about people all the time. And then my mom is also the person that I can count on. Thick and thin, she's always there. Those are the two reasons why my mom is one of my greatest heroes.

0:07:54.0 KD: I also feel my mom is very, very, very loving to her family. She loves her family hard, guys. That woman loves deep. It also can go a little extreme, and I'm going to say that, and if she's listening to this, she knows. Those are probably the reasons why I look up to my mom and she's one of my greatest heroes. My dad, man, my dad is a good time. He is a ton of fun. My wit and charm, I think comes from my dad 'cause that man is so... He can make friends with anybody, and I respect that he's such a good time. And my dad also is one of the hardest workers I have ever met. I feel like my work ethic has come because of my dad, for good or for bad. I don't think that working on every holiday, aka, what my father did. All growing up, I hated school holidays. I was like, "Please keep me in school." [laughter] 'Cause I knew we were gonna go trim bushes for our family lawn business every single holiday. So I think there could be a little extreme. But overall, those are the things I really love about my dad.

0:08:52.7 KD: Tony Robbins, man, that man, I adore him because I feel he had nothing in life and he rose from the ashes in his created greatness. I also think that man is so committed to greatness as far as his mindset and the things he does, and he's also the real deal. I love watching him coach 'cause he actually has proof in the pudding. And I said, "I'm gonna be that person as a coach. I'm never gonna be a coach or a consultant that just talks in theories. But I wanna be the person who shows up actually with real life experiences and guides people in an easy way through it." Share the secret, share the successes, share with people what other people are doing so they can be successful too. I also think Tony Robbins is a masterful coach. He can figure things out, and I know this from firsthand experience 'cause I did an intervention with him, and the things he brought to light for me by allowing me to make my own connections was magical, and I will say I'm a changed person because of that.

0:09:51.4 KD: There are things about Tony Robbins that I don't like. There are things about him that I don't think are great. But those are the reasons I really look up to him and respect him. And I think that man is great with one-liners that really make you think. My other friend, honestly, brilliant. He's someone that I just look up to because he thinks in very strategic ways. He's a very strategic thinker and he makes friends with people, and he keeps relationships forever. He's a very long-term friend. Those are things that when I leave him, I feel my soul is full because he makes me think, and it's not always all about him. So there you go. Those would be the attributes I would write of all of my heroes. I hope you do the same thing. I'm doing this as a live demo so you can then mimic and mirror and copy it.

0:10:33.1 KD: So thinking of this, you then move forward, of those attributes, which ones do I have? I think I got a lot of my dad in me, my mom, I could definitely get a lot more, Tony Robbins I'm working on, and my friend, I don't think I'm a soul-filling when I talk to people in real life. I think I'm getting there. But those are the things that I really love about other people. How can I incorporate that into myself? How can I become that version of me? And do I wanna be? That's a real question. Just because I admire that in someone else doesn't mean I want to become that. So really assessing yourself to see, "All right, number one, would I be somebody that I would respect and look up to?"

0:11:12.8 KD: Like that doctor said about her dad, "Do you do the right thing? Are you better than that? And are you constantly refining and improving?" I think about that a lot. Wouldn't that be so awesome if on your deathbed, when you died, at your funeral, I never like to think about this. It feels creepy to me. I hope all of you do come to my funeral. I'll be looking from above or in another life, who knows where. I don't know, maybe in the ground. I don't actually know what's gonna happen. I hope I'm looking from above and see all of you. But gosh, like if people at my funeral said the greatest thing about Kiera is that she always did the right thing, I'd feel like I lived a pretty good life. To me, that would be awesome if that's what people said about me, 'cause that's something that I really strive to do.

0:11:58.9 KD: I also think, I hope you guys say that I'm a real good time. She really changed my life. I love words of affirmation. So any of those things, by all means, please feel free to share them. But gosh, what are people gonna say about you, and what people would say about you, is that really what you want them to say? So, again, if you met yourself, would you wanna hang out with yourself? Would you wanna work for yourself? And of all the attributes you just listed of the people that you look up to, the mentors that you have in this world, what is it about them? And do you embody that? And also, do you want to? That's okay. You don't have to embody. There are things like, my mom is so intentional. I wanna take about 10% of that and incorporate that into my life. I do not want her full 90%.

0:12:39.1 KD: Do I love being on the receiving end of it? Yes. Do I wanna be that intentional and that thoughtful of everybody? This sounds gross to say, but I don't. I feel like I bring a lot of other things. I want to be thoughtful and I wanna care about people, but I don't want that as my driving force in life. I want my driving force in life to be a good person. That's really what I want. I wanna be a good person that really just makes people feel happy to be themselves. And that doesn't mean I need to be all the thoughtful things from my perspective. You guys could be judging me harshly right now. You're welcome to do that. The point of this exercise is you get to decide who you want to be. But I think doing that assessment of yourself is a healthy exercise, because I think when we can show up better for our teams, when we can show up better for our families, when we can show up better for our patients, the world is a better place.

0:13:28.3 KD: You are a better human. You are contributing to society in a more productive, positive way, and that's my ultimate mission. Because I feel we need kinder people, people who are more genuine, people who do the right thing, and people who positively impact society for good. And you right now listening can make that change. You right now can do that. But I do think it takes inter self-reflection. So I would encourage you to do this exercise. Would you be a friend with yourself? Why or why not? Would you be someone that you'd be proud to know? On your deathbed at your funeral, what are people gonna say? What's the one line people are gonna say about you right now? And is that what you actually want them to say, or do you wanna change your course right now and become someone better?

0:14:12.5 KD: Every day you make choices. Every day you get to show up differently. Every day you get to create something different. What are you doing? How are you showing up? And what do you wanna keep doing? And what do you wanna change? I promise you, if your whole team did this exercise together, you would have a different practice. People have to take the ownership. But small changes, atomic habits, 1% changes make radical influence. So I'm gonna encourage you, take the reflection today. Ask yourself, are you someone you would be proud to know? Are you someone you would look up to if you didn't know you? What can you change? What can you continue doing? This is the time for you.

0:14:57.1 KD: And as always, I'm here for you if I can ever support you in any way. If I can ask you these questions and help you dive through them in a safe non-judgmental way, I'm here for it. At Dental A Team, I am committed that we are a consulting company that comes with no judgment. Wherever you are, there is no judgment. We're just here to support you and to help you become the ultimate best version of you, the ultimate best version of your practice, the ultimate best version of your life, and I hope you guys do that. And as always, thanks for listening, and I'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team Podcast.

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0:15:33.7 KD: And that wraps it up for another episode of Dental A Team Podcast. Thank you so much for listening and we'll talk to you next time.

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