Episode 797: Signs of Burnout + Overcoming It

 Kiera is joined by Dr. Kyle Stanley, a dentist working to improve mental health in the industry with his Light Side Academy. They discuss why mental health is so negative in dentistry, warning signs for wellness, how to shift identities for the better, and a ton more.

About Dr. Stanley: Dr. Kyle Stanley, named "The Next Generation of Cosmetic Dentistry" by the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, “The Top 10 Young Educators in Dentistry” by the Seattle Study Club, and "World's Top 100 Doctors in Dentistry" graduated from USC and then went on to complete a dental implant residency and dental implant specialty in Brazil. He is a researcher who has published in some top dental journals about esthetics, implants, and plastic surgery topics. One of the few dental AI experts in the world, he co-founded Pearl, a company that is changing how patients are treated through artificial intelligence. He is an advisor for some of the most forward-thinking dental tech companies. Dr. Stanley is the most prominent advocate of mental health in dentistry and through his Light Side Academy has helped countless dentists reduce burnout for a sustainable career in dentistry. He maintains a private practice in Beverly Hills, focusing on implant surgery and prosthetics.

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Transcript:

Kiera Dent (00:00.955)

Hello, Dentaly

 

Kyle Stanley (00:26.325)

Thanks so much for having me. Nice to be here.

 

Kiera Dent (00:28.503)

Of course. Well, Kyle, you are the founder of Lightside Academy. You speak a ton. You're a dentist. You, I feel like you surf, but I could be making this up. I feel like you're a surfer, right? Cool. Awesome. And, uh, it was just fun. We spoke together in Napa at the making of event and that's where I like first really got introduced to you. I'd seen you before here and there in different speaking events, but kind of just tell everyone a little bit about who is Kyle Stanley? How did you get to where you are today? Just kind of give us a background of who you are.

 

Kyle Stanley (00:37.066)

I do. I do, yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (00:57.202)

Yeah, I've had an interesting experience with dentistry. So I've had my hands in so many different areas of dentistry. You know, I have a private practice. I taught at a university for nine years. I'm a clinical researcher. I'm a speaker. Um, I'm the clinical director of a dental lab. I started a dental AI company called Pearl. And I think you were talking with Mike Buckner a little bit ago. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. And, um, yeah. And then I have this.

 

Kiera Dent (01:19.055)

Totally, we represent, we promote you guys all the time. All the time.

 

Kyle Stanley (01:26.566)

interesting thing that happened to me back in 2018. So in 2018, I came home and it was a dark and stormy night, literally. I knocked on the door because the deadbolt was on. My wife opened the door and said, welcome home. And I said, I can't do this anymore. And she said, what are you talking about? You know, like marriage, family, kids, what are you talking about here? Yes, no one wants to hear that. I should have thought about that before I said that.

 

Kiera Dent (01:49.307)

Right? No woman wants to hear that, Kyle, just so you know. Ha ha ha.

 

Kyle Stanley (01:56.086)

And I said, no, um, dentistry, like I can't do dentistry anymore. I'm too stressed out. It's not worth the money. I, you know, not sleeping. I'm not eating. Um, I was going through really difficult times. I was, um, being sued by an employee. I was being threatened to be sued by a patient. I was being extorted by another patient. And, you know, everything just kind of hit me at once and I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to have more time away from my practice.

 

I wanted to just be a human sometimes. I was exhausted. I was cynical. I felt ineffective at my job. So I went on this journey where I started studying positive psychology. I'm a research nerd, you know, because I'm a researcher, I like to publish research. I also like to ingest a lot of research too. So I went like right to PubMed, started looking at all the research and found all this research on

 

Kiera Dent (02:41.804)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (02:45.34)

Thank you.

 

Kiera Dent (02:50.638)

you

 

Kyle Stanley (02:52.354)

positive psychology and the psychology of overachievers and health and wellness. I went down this rabbit hole of health and wellness and I remember I started taking a day off a week, which sounds crazy for most dentists. Like the ADA shows that only 10% of dentists take any time off. Any time off. So I took a day off and I was outside and I remember seeing all these people and being like...

 

What the hell do these people do? Don't you work? What are you doing in the middle of the day? You know, I'm like, I'm in a, I'm in my practice from 6.30 AM to 6.30 PM every day. And I got an acai bowl next door. I went to the post office. I got an acai bowl and I was had the warm California sun down on my face. And I started to say, you know what? I'm finally getting better. It was a, you know, about six months after I had went on this journey. And because I had this platform of speaking about 40 times a year,

 

Kiera Dent (03:22.032)

Right?

 

Kiera Dent (03:28.88)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (03:49.278)

I started peppering this topic in. So I would get invited to speak about smile design or guided surgery or dental implants for like six hours. And then for 10 minutes, I would talk about mental health at the end. And afterwards, I mean, you know, as a speaker, afterwards, people come up and say what they liked or, you know, what resonated with them. Everybody just wanted to talk about mental health. And so I started getting all these people saying like, you know, do you have a course? Do you have a group? Do you have like a support group, anything? I was like, no, I don't.

 

Kiera Dent (04:08.75)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (04:18.546)

And then COVID hit and I finally had a few weeks of time and I created this course, this online community called Lightsight Academy and it's been one of the most rewarding things that I've ever done in my career.

 

Kiera Dent (04:24.088)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (04:33.335)

Oh, I'm so grateful you shared that because and that was a huge reason I wanted you on the podcast is because I am a huge proponent of mental health as well. I think so many people go through it. I feel like it's something that is now starting to be talked about. My husband and I were talking the other day of like how crazy cool is life that we have really like conquered for the most part. Like we...

 

Kyle Stanley (04:46.07)

Yes.

 

Kiera Dent (04:53.751)

We know where our next meal is coming from most of the time, especially in the US. Like we don't have to do our laundry. Like we have washing machines for that. We have dishwashers. Like now we have Instacart that delivers food to our homes. Like we don't even have to go grocery shopping. There's meal planning everywhere. So we don't really even have to make our food if we don't want to. You can have an in-house chef like we have really conquered so much of life. And yet I think now because we've conquered so much, people have time to think and people have time to like.

 

Kyle Stanley (04:57.272)

Yes.

 

Right. Yes.

 

Kiera Dent (05:19.735)

there is depression that's rampant. And you would think like for a society that's conquered all these things, we would be so ecstatic. And yet I think that there's so many people struggling with mental health because it's like this, like you said, it's this driven society where you have to keep driving and you have to keep going. And if I take a day off, my practice is going to fall apart and especially in dentistry. And I'm such a proponent for it. And so I just wanted to kind of talk to you about your journey. And then obviously light side, I think we're such a good pairing.

 

We do all the junk systems that no one ever wants to do and you guys are the dentists that it's like how can I get my life back from a dentist perspective? So how did you go like because Kyle I think sometimes people feel stuck like I know I've had this my husband I talk all the time and I'm like I love dental a team and I love what I do but there are days when I'm like I feel like it's this dragon that won't stop and you're like I'm in this business I have all these people that I'm responsible for and I think we allow that to just stack and stack like it's like the water gets higher and higher and higher.

 

Kyle Stanley (05:54.125)

Yes.

 

Kyle Stanley (06:07.009)

Yeah.

 

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (06:16.151)

And so how did you just like close out one day? Because to me, that's always the piece of like, people are like, it's an all or nothing. I mean, dentists could put it up for sale, but I think that there's also the guilt and the shame and that's my identity. And like, there's so many pieces. How did you even like take that first step? And I'm so grateful you did, because I think oftentimes people don't and life doesn't quite turn out how yours turned out. So how did you take that first step?

 

Kyle Stanley (06:26.338)

Totally. Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (06:35.83)

Yeah. For me, the biggest change for me was realizing that my profession is not my purpose in life. And that was where I struggled so much. And I think so many dentists struggle with and I've helped over a thousand dentists in 50 countries. This is what they struggle with that we get. I think it's because it takes so long to become a dentist. You know, let's say in the U S you

 

You have to do well in high school to get into college, then you have to do well in college to get into dental school, and then you have to take your DAT and dental school and boards, and you're just like, dentistry, dentistry for so long, you get out, you gotta learn new techniques. And that's really all you can think about. So dentists get this pun intended drilled into them that they are dentists and that's their purpose in life. And so when you have complications, a crown pops off, an implant fails, or a patient's pissed off, or a team member quits,

 

When you have these things, you take it as, well, not only did this situation not go well, but there's something wrong with me. And that was how I felt. I was like, you know, I did all this great training. I have these great mentors. I thought I was pretty good. And now a patient wants to sue me. A team member wants to sue me. Like I'm having an implant fallout. And I was like, I'm not worth anything because I thought my only worth was dentistry and to provide, you know, income for my family.

 

Kiera Dent (07:36.029)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (07:44.996)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (07:53.913)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (07:57.086)

And what I realized was that like, I'm a multifaceted person and dentistry can be a part of me, but it's not who I am. So one of the things that we incorporate in my course is something called the diversified identity strategy. When you think about investments, you think, well, I need to have stocks, I need to have bonds, I should have real estate, maybe have crypto. So that let's say when the real estate market crashes, your bonds still may be good, you know, your, your other stuff.

 

Kiera Dent (08:05.282)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (08:26.854)

still may be good, your crypto may go up and vice versa. With our identity, we need to think about it the same way. So it's like, you know, I'm a father and a husband. That's a big part of my identity. I'm a jujitsu practitioner. I'm a dentist. I'm a surfer. Like you said, you know, I like helping children. Now if something catastrophic happened tomorrow, let's say I'm surfing and get my arm bit off, I can still be a great dad and a great husband.

 

Kiera Dent (08:44.96)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (08:55.994)

I can still help children. I can still love being by the beach and have that be part of my identity. But I may not be able to do dentistry. I may not be able to surf. I'd probably have to eventually come back because there's that girl that got her arm bit off and do one hand. Yeah, so I'd have to come back. But I still have these other things and that's how we have to diversify ourselves because when we pigeonhole our entire self-worth into dentistry, you know,

 

Kiera Dent (09:10.403)

Figure it out. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You could do it. Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (09:25.218)

Dentistry isn't that predictable. We have problems. We have, you know, business goes up and down. Treatment goes up and down. Relationships go up and down. And if you put all your eggs in one basket, you're bound to fail and feel terrible about yourself.

 

Kiera Dent (09:39.171)

Yeah. And I love that. That was something I actually took away when we were in Napa together was this diversified piece. But I am going to ask, I like, let's go deeper on this because I think in theory it sounds so great. It sounds like, okay, I can do this. But then it's like, but I almost feel like sometimes we weight those different, like I can logically see that of, I'm not just dental A team owner. I'm not just a dental assistant. I'm not just a practice owner.

 

but I think sometimes we weight some of them bigger. It's almost like circles, right? Like, oh, my dentist identity is this big and my father identity is this big. And so how do you get them like more equally weighted to where they're not so heavily weighted? Or how do you get it to where, like, yes, I can still do these things. And is that just like a mindfulness that you've come to play? Is it that you like spend more time in other areas so they're more balanced? Like, that's something I've been wondering because I feel like people, in theory, it sounds amazing.

 

Kyle Stanley (10:09.419)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (10:29.275)

But in practicality, I feel like we oftentimes will exaggerate certain identities to be larger from whatever it is.

 

Kyle Stanley (10:33.706)

No, you're exactly right. It, it takes time and it is a, it's a process. It's not like one day I said, oh my gosh, you know, now dentistry is not my purpose. But it's just like exercising. You don't get in shape once and then do nothing for the rest of your life. It's a constant battle, you know, and I still fall back into it. I'll still take on too many speaking events or take on too many things. And my wife has to go, Hey, you know, you're gone a lot. We need you back home. And I have to remember like, ah, okay. Yeah, that's what's important here.

 

So it is this constant battle. You know, my dad who practiced for 45 years didn't have this battle. And it was so nice to see him, you know, there's four boys in my family and we all played like at least two sports at a time. So there were like, you know, eight, 10 sports at a time in so many games. He and my mom were at every one of our games and he was a solo practitioner. And so what he did is like, oh, Kyle has a water polo game on Wednesday.

 

Kiera Dent (11:18.479)

course.

 

Kiera Dent (11:28.654)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (11:32.43)

cancel my patients on Wednesday afternoon. And people think like, oh my God, you can't cancel my patient. They're gonna go somewhere else, they're not gonna come back, they're gonna hate you. No, what he found is that ended up growing his business. How is that possible, right? How do you work less and then make more? Because when he comes in, he's more relaxed, he's happier. You know, patients realize he's a human and has a family. And so it's really interesting how this happens. I struggled.

 

I would take every emergency patient, work late, never say no to a patient on anything. But that was what got me into my dark place, was really just being a yes man to my patients and my team members. And my patients are important, my team is important, but nobody's more important than my family. And so even though maybe my profession was getting better, my relationships started suffering outside of my practice. So the short answer is that it is a process. But you do need to like...

 

Kiera Dent (12:04.487)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (12:18.743)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (12:26.188)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (12:31.338)

draw a line in the sand and say, okay, I'm going to make an effort to do this. And you may slip sometimes, but then you come back. The important part is that you realize when you're slipping. That's one of the main things. People that are in my community, in my Lightsight community, they may message me six months later, year later, two years later and say, you know what, the burnout is coming back in. I thought that I had it all figured out. And I basically send them right back to the course.

 

Kiera Dent (12:35.329)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (12:39.626)

Right.

 

Kyle Stanley (12:59.478)

because they forget some of the daily habits, they forget some of the identity shifts and some of the practice management aspects of doing things, and then they come back out of it. But I tell them the important part is that you messaged me and said, it's coming back. Because for me, I didn't realize I was going down until I was all the way at the bottom.

 

Kiera Dent (12:59.527)

Thank you.

 

Kiera Dent (13:09.671)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (13:18.691)

Mm-hmm. And I think so many people do that, right? Like, they... And I think we feel like we can muscle out of it. I feel like that's the society we've been taught. I mean, like, I love that you even said we were... Right.

 

Kyle Stanley (13:28.438)

Just grind, right? Yeah, just, what is the other thing? Hustle, just hustle, just grind, just work harder than the next person. You can do that. Yeah, you can do that for like a year, maybe two years, but it's not sustainable, right? You can't run your car on red line the whole time. You're gonna blow up the engine.

 

Kiera Dent (13:35.415)

Yeah, embrace the suck.

 

Kiera Dent (13:48.007)

Mm-hmm, and I don't think so many people like how did you get past the guilt and the shame that I feel like people have? Like I guess that that's the question of was it just like I'm at rock bottom and I don't care what else I know There have been times I remember I cancelled so many clients and I was like I don't care if they hate me or not like I'm at rock bottom But did you just like was it just I'm at rock bottom and so I'm going to go forward with it or was it? Okay

 

Kyle Stanley (14:08.802)

For me, it was. Yeah, for me, it was. There's a lot of people that aren't like that. Like I have a friend who is an orthodontist and I just did a post about him the other day, but I was talking to him. He has a great practice, like a few million bucks and he closes practice at 3 p.m. every day. And I was like, wait, you close at three, you're an orthodontist. Like don't people have to come after school? And he wrote, if people wanna come after school, they can go to another orthodontist. I need to...

 

Kiera Dent (14:26.828)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (14:37.946)

stop at three because that's how I want my lifestyle. And it's not like he did that once he got, you know, successful. No, he did that since he bought his practice originally. So he's been doing that since he has all the loans and everything that everyone else has, but he made himself a priority and everyone else kind of adjusted around that. And could he have a five million dollar practice? Maybe, but that's not important to him. What's important to him is having his mental health, being home.

 

Kiera Dent (14:58.084)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (15:06.71)

you know, having time to do his hobbies. And he's got a great life because of it.

 

Kiera Dent (15:12.419)

And I think like I've been really on this obsession on fulfillment. Like it's been something I've just been obsessing about. Like how do you find it? It's kind of like love. It's this like whole, I feel like mystical almost, but it's not mystical for all people. And I think it's the piece of like, you hear people like that. And I think so often people are like, but why? Like, I don't think I could do that. Like that works for them, but it's not for me. How do you get it from the, it's for not for them, but like, it's also for me. How do you get people to change their minds?

 

to realizing like, no, because I'm obsessed with this too. I tell everyone, I'm like, I don't care what your dream life is. There is no A to Z practice. It is literally a, what do you want? And I think we've almost forgotten to realize like what we want to make ourselves a priority. It's like, no, that doesn't matter. But I'm like, that matters number one and everything else will fall around it. But how do you help people learn that, especially dentists, like, no, you absolutely, like as a team member, I don't care what schedule you want. I'm 100% like down with it. I don't care.

 

I never once judged my doctors if they wanted to close out early, if they didn't want to work on Fridays. I didn't care what our production was. I wanted them to be happy, successful, thriving. Like me as a team member, I wanted that for my doctor. How do you help doctors like really embrace that and believe that?

 

Kyle Stanley (16:24.234)

Well, there's a few different ways. So one is showing them previous people that have said the same thing and gone through it and totally changed their lives. Number two is showing them research. As dentists, we are scientists, we like facts, we like random controlled trials and that kind of stuff. And so you have to kind of speak to their brain that is very much like right brain oriented, facts and things. And then...

 

Kiera Dent (16:31.012)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (16:51.311)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (16:53.778)

also go to their left brain, more emotional aspect. So I show them previous doctors that have done this. I show them research, and then I also give them daily habits, how to do it, instead of just like.

 

Like this, like you said, like kind of mystical, you know, there's this like kumbaya in the future, it's like, no, this is what you do, doon, doon. These are the five things that, that this is how, these are the scripts, how you talk to patients, you know, that, that this is a script, how you talk to your team members. This is how you set up things in your practice. And I think they start doing it slowly and they see a change, you know, like, um, one of my light sighters that I was actually just talking to him yesterday, his name is Narain and he.

 

Kiera Dent (17:11.559)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (17:21.252)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (17:31.175)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (17:38.434)

had, he told me his story where he was actually suffering from anxiety and just really overwhelmed with his practice. He had a front office team member who had bright red hair. And when she would, when he would see her bright red hair out of the corner of his eye, his heart would start pounding. Not anything against her, but because anytime she came in, it was, you know, this patient doesn't want to pay or the patient's going to be late or, you know, the hygienist.

 

Kiera Dent (18:05.083)

Yep.

 

Kyle Stanley (18:08.322)

Uh, had to pick up his daughter at this end. He's going to be late or whatever it is. And so he actually had his resting heart rate at 140. He went to his MD and his MD said, Naren, you've got anxiety. You need to take a day off. And like every dentist, he said, I can't take a day off. I've got full schedule. You know, what do you mean? I can't take a day off. I've got my team members and I've got this. And he said, like, you know,

 

Kiera Dent (18:24.759)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (18:36.098)

You may not have time, but do you have time to be dead? And so what he did was took a day off. And what happened was crazy. His practice grew. And you think, how is that possible? How do you have one day less a week and your practice grows? Well, when he's there, he's showing up better. He's rested. He looks better. He's happier. He's nicer to his team. They work harder because of it. Case acceptance goes up.

 

Kiera Dent (18:39.563)

Right

 

Kiera Dent (18:47.271)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (18:57.699)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (19:06.154)

And so what he started doing was he took another day off and then he started dropping insurances. And so he's down on the amount of dentistry that he does, but his business has grown. And this is just the fact that, I mean, he was kind of forced to do it, you know, because his MD told him like, this isn't good for your body. But he has made himself a priority.

 

Kiera Dent (19:22.031)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (19:26.7)

Right.

 

Kiera Dent (19:32.139)

Mm-hmm. And I think what I'm obsessed with, Kyle, is I don't like meeting people. And I'm sure you're the same way of when they're at that rock bottom spot. You hit it, I hit it. We've seen hundreds of dentists hit it. But it's like, how can we actually be more proactive instead of reactive? My husband, he's a pharmacist. He works with heart and vascular. And he's like, it's so crazy because people are like, I'll do it when it's so bad. And he's like, why are we waiting until it's so bad and it might not be reversible versus like...

 

Kyle Stanley (19:41.486)

How do I?

 

Kyle Stanley (19:56.141)

Right.

 

Kiera Dent (20:00.419)

Why don't we make a proactive step today that's going to make a better tomorrow? And I feel like it's just, it's like, are we going to choose to do this or are we going to be forced to do it? And I love, like there was a quote I heard where like you use your health to build your wealth and then you use your wealth to rebuild your health. And I've thought about it so much of, but can't I have both? I'm a big person who loves the and like, can I have like wealth and health? Like, can I have like time off and a successful practice? And I really do believe like we set the rules to the game.

 

Kyle Stanley (20:15.574)

Bye.

 

Kyle Stanley (20:21.707)

Right.

 

Kiera Dent (20:29.319)

we create the reality we want to live. We can make ourselves a priority. And it's like, if you're completely, like you said, redlining your engine every day, like rock on, it's going to be thrills and frills for a hot minute, but then it's going to die. Like it's literally going to die. And so catching people proactively, and that's why I was just so excited to have you on the podcast to share about mental health, because I feel like the more people are willing to talk about it, the more people realize like

 

Kyle Stanley (20:40.747)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (20:53.131)

Oh, it's not just me. Then to say all the time, like I'm on my own isolated island. And I'm like, you're on an isolated island if you choose to be in 2024. Like there's so many people here. Yes, it does. And so join them. So I'm curious, what other things have you found that really can help people? Like, let's say today I'm a dentist who's on like burnout row is what I call it. Or I know I'm like, I'm starting to feel that I guess one, what does burnout actually look like, what does that feel like? So they can kind of like to see some of those warning signs.

 

Kyle Stanley (20:55.043)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (21:00.066)

Yeah, your island looks just like everybody else. That's the thing.

 

Kiera Dent (21:21.859)

before they even get there. What are some of the warning signs you've seen?

 

Kyle Stanley (21:25.098)

Well, some of the signs of burnout are exhaustion. And this is all from the research, exhaustion, ineffectiveness, and cynical feeling. So if you have any of those three things, that is like the trifecta of burnout. This is from the research and not just in dentistry, right? And this was exactly me. I was just exhausted. Every day I got home, just like, didn't have anything left to give to my family because I had given everything to my...

 

Kiera Dent (21:43.303)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (21:54.678)

my patients and my team, I felt ineffective. And that was because, you know, I started to have complications and my communication wasn't great with patients and team members. And so it's having problems with them too. And then because of that, I became cynical of dentistry. So that was really like, if you're feeling any of those, you may be started down the road. And us dentists, we love being preventative with our patients, right? Even hygienists, we're like,

 

Kiera Dent (22:08.297)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (22:15.981)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (22:22.834)

Let's catch your periodontal disease when it's like gingival inflammation. Let's not wait until it's full-blown periodontal disease and your teeth are falling out. Same thing with, with dentists, you know, let's catch it when it's a tiny little class two, let's not wait until it's a full mouth rehab. We tell our patients that, but for ourselves, we wait until our health is a full mouth rehab, wait until our mental state is full mouth rehab, our relationships are full mouth rehab. And so I would encourage everybody to think about your own life. Like you think about dentistry.

 

Kiera Dent (22:26.651)

bright.

 

Kiera Dent (22:37.546)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (22:46.692)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (22:52.002)

Don't wait until you're at the bottom like I did. Do it, even if you have no signs of burnout, do burnout prevention so that you never have to experience it.

 

Kiera Dent (22:55.139)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (23:01.555)

Right. Yeah. And as you were saying that, I just thought about it's crazy that there's so many little things to do proactively. And I think back to one of our consultants, she told me this, I think that we're talking now three years ago and it still has stuck with me. And she said, Keira, choose your hard. Is it harder for me to be proactive today or is it harder for me to, like you said, all of these things are on full rehab and then I've got to rebuild my marriage, I've got to rebuild my health, I've got to rebuild my identity, I've got to rebuild my practice.

 

Kyle Stanley (23:26.894)

That's right.

 

Kiera Dent (23:29.231)

because it's going to hit at some point. And I also feel like, why do we have to be superheroes? Like even hearing you say, yeah, when I was a kid, I was playing two sports. And I'm like, even right there, like two sports as a child, like, were these gunners, were these high achievers? But I think like, could we not start to have badges of honor where like you do build a practice? And I also want to point out, dentists are so freaking lucky because you actually have the ability to set your schedule. And I think that freedom can become a shackle for you.

 

Kyle Stanley (23:43.796)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (23:55.794)

Totally. Yep.

 

Kiera Dent (23:57.515)

if you're not careful, like you get to create your schedule. So Kyle, can you please just help people understand like, I mean, you've got the studies and you also have the testimonials of practices. I have seen it so many times as well. When they cut down a day, their practices bloom.

 

Like it happens like it's like clockwork every time you cut it down, you grow, you're happier. Can you just help them see that they're really truly not going to go under? Because I think it's that fear, right? Like they're holding onto this rope while the river's pushing them down and they're just holding on for dear life. Like they're exhausted there. They want to like their fingers are bleeding and gripping. But yet if they would just let go and flow with it, like it's going to be so much easier. How can you help dentists see this?

 

Kyle Stanley (24:13.122)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (24:24.108)

Yes.

 

Kyle Stanley (24:33.07)

Yeah, I've seen it time and time again. And I think it's hard for them to imagine that you could work, you know, let's say you're at six days a week, you can go to five, or let's say you're at five, you can go to four and a half, right? And you think, well, four and a half, okay, so that's like maybe three, four less hours, how am I going to make that up? Right? And there's so many different factors, like I said,

 

Kiera Dent (24:47.328)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (25:01.162)

It could be that because you're rested, you look better, physically look better, and we know there's research to show that when people look better, they're more likely to get yeses, whether you're selling something. I mean, no dentist got into dentistry to sell things, but we are in the business of dentistry, right? Even if you're just talking to the patient, you're informing them, you feel good about it, you rested that night, you got eight hours of sleep, you're eating well, you're exercising, meditating, you're appreciating life. That...

 

Kiera Dent (25:11.236)

Right.

 

Kyle Stanley (25:30.51)

comes off, there's something that is very human about that. I mean, I know you and I, you see someone and you go, that person's really healthy, right? Like, what are they doing? And then you see the opposite, right? You see the people that aren't sleeping, aren't eating well, you know, tired and angry. And I realized like my case acceptance was terrible when I was at that point. And then when I changed, all of a sudden my case acceptance went up.

 

Kiera Dent (25:38.767)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (25:55.065)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (25:59.434)

My dad used to tell me, you do the best dentistry when you don't need the money. And I've totally seen that with myself and with other people. But I think you also do the best dentistry when you're just there informing the patient and you're not dependent. Like you actually, it won't change your life if they do the dentistry or not. You're just there informing them. And I think someone sees that. If you're kind of like,

 

Kiera Dent (26:05.119)

Mm.

 

Kiera Dent (26:23.331)

Right.

 

Kyle Stanley (26:28.33)

I really need this patient to do it. I think there's something human where the patient feels that. And it's like, ugh. You know how like if someone says like, well, like, I don't know if this is for you, you know, and they walk in and you're like, wait, no, I think it may be. Just tell me, tell me a little more, you know? There's something about that. And so the short answer to your question is that there's all these little nuances that you may not be able to figure out, but I mean, you and I have seen it time and time again. Another thing I want to point out about that is

 

Kiera Dent (26:41.29)

Hahaha!

 

Kiera Dent (26:54.026)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (26:57.842)

I talk a lot to the dental professionals, mostly the dentists, okay? But also there's a huge problem with burnout in team members too. And so you may think, oh, I can't take a day off because you know, my team, they depend on that money and this and that. They may love to have the time off because that burnout, you know, it's $300 billion annually that burnout causes. And that's from

 

Kiera Dent (27:08.455)

Totally.

 

Kiera Dent (27:22.599)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (27:25.162)

absenteeism and cynicism, all of these things contribute to where your team members may not be working at the level that they need to be. And that's why they're not collecting or that's why they're not doing the period charting or that's why they're not seeing the patient on time. And so it's all these little factors that contribute to a better wellness happening in dentistry. So I think of wellness as three things in dentistry. There's wellness for the patient.

 

We need to do good treatment. We need to think about the whole mouth and perioprost and ortho and all this kind of stuff. There's wellness for the practice, meaning the business needs to be healthy in order to support everybody, in order to pay everybody. Then last thing that most people forget is the wellness for the practitioner. When you have all three of those, practices thrive, teams thrive, patients thrive, everybody thrives.

 

Kiera Dent (27:55.464)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (28:13.615)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kiera Dent (28:21.943)

Mm-hmm, which I think is such a beautiful point that you pointed out and I love that you said like they're so I feel like we We create these scenarios that aren't real. I'm like guess what if your team doesn't want to only work four days They're either gonna find another route They're gonna leave you and you're gonna hire someone else who fits your mold like it does not matter like

 

Live your best life and be free. It's one of those like, I'm just begging you to realize like you're worth it. And I love that you said wellness. And I love that it's, it's not success. It's not like being wealthy. It's wellness. And I would ask the question to our listeners today of how well are you in those three areas? Like how well are you treating your patients? How well is your practice and how well are you, uh, if you were to step outside of yourself and assess those three areas.

 

Kyle Stanley (28:43.274)

Yeah.

 

Kiera Dent (29:08.155)

How would you do it in the most loving, graceful place? Because you got here, right? Like who you are got you to where you are today. But I love posing the question of who do you need to be to get to where you ultimately want to be and not by any other standards. I also feel just one last thing as we wrap up. I have a theory and I don't do the research. I'm all like straight up emotional Kyle. Like I go do it in practices, I can tell you does it but I'm not gonna go read all the things. My husband's a pharmacist, he reads the reports for me. But like I have a theory that people feel guilty.

 

Kyle Stanley (29:30.795)

Yes.

 

Kiera Dent (29:38.287)

that as a dentist, I could work three and a half days and be super successful. I have like, my parents weren't able to do that. I've heard so many dentists say like, my family wasn't able to do that. I feel this guilt that I can have this life. How do you combat that guilt? Because I feel like that's truly BS across the board. Like I don't believe in it at all, but I believe it's very real. So how do you combat that guilt? You believe it, you see it. How do you get rid of that guilt?

 

even if your other, your family wasn't this way when you were coming up, like, it's okay. How do you combat that as a dentist?

 

Kyle Stanley (30:12.682)

Yeah, I think that guilt is hard to get around for a lot of people because it's usually so ingrained as a child or something like this. I think what I see more of, I do see that guilt, but what I see more of is I need to make more money. And so, I mean, you know how it is. It's like, what do they call it? Like success amnesia, right? To where you get to a certain point and then you get very comfortable with that point, right? You're like, ah, I need more.

 

And you get more, I need more. It's like, this happens with cars too. You get like the fastest car. You drive this car. You're like, Oh my God, this is amazing. And after like six months, like this is kind of slow. I think I need like a faster car. And I think that's what it is. It's like this success amnesia and that my friend, Martin Mendelson, who teaches light-sided with me, taught me that term. And so I think that everyone thinks they're going to be happier. Oh, I'm going to be happier when I own my own practice. I'm going to be happier.

 

Kiera Dent (30:53.669)

Right.

 

Kiera Dent (31:07.169)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (31:08.134)

when I have, you know, when I reached that million dollar mark in my practice, I'm going to be happier when I start doing all on fours. I'm going to be happier when I have six hygienists at a time. I'm going to be happier. And I'm here to tell you that like I was like, you know, had a great practice making a ton of money, speaking around the world, driving nice cars. And I was miserable when I started making a change. Guess what? I started making less money at first and I was happier.

 

Kiera Dent (31:29.898)

Mm-hmm.

 

Kyle Stanley (31:38.326)

I was working less, I was making less money, and I was so much happier. And now I've been able to make myself a priority to where I've been able to come back and make more money, but the money's not what makes me happier. It's like the autonomy that I have. It's the fact that I've made my family a priority and my health a priority, and I'm helping others. I'm able to give back. Like, that's what gives me so much joy. It's not the success

 

from a financial standpoint. People ask me a lot of times, who's the most successful person I know? And I know people that are very successful, being in the tech world, people that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars. I have many friends, not many friends, I have a few friends that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars. The most successful person I know is my dad. He's not rich, he's not poor. He's been married for over 50 years. All of his kids still like him. He has no enemies. He's a great person. He gives back. He's healthy in his 70s. Like,

 

He's the most successful person that I know.

 

Kiera Dent (32:38.471)

That's beautiful. And I'm so glad you pointed it out because I also think like rewriting our definitions for success and finding like what really does bring that happiness. I love what you're doing, Kyle. Like I appreciate you as a human. I just want to hang out with you all the time because I feel like good energy exudes good energy. And I really just love meeting people who have prioritized themselves because I believe like I want to have a really strong peer group around me of people that are thinking this way and talking this way because I want to become that way. And I think that's something you guys have done so well

 

Kyle Stanley (32:54.286)

Let's do it.

 

Kiera Dent (33:08.485)

light side. I actually secretly did not plan it, but I love that you have a white background and I have a black background today because I feel like it just like plays right to your light side today. But talk to people about how they can get a part of this. Like I think you are doing an amazing work for dentists out there, helping them with mental health, really, really showing them that there is a light side. They don't have to be on the dark side. Talk to people about how they can connect with you more.

 

Kyle Stanley (33:15.532)

The light side, yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (33:28.999)

Yeah. So, I mean, the easiest place to find me is on Instagram. It's just Dr. Kyle Stanley, DR Kyle Stanley. If you're interested in Lightside, you can go to Lightside dentistry, uh, lightside dentistry.com and you can watch my free masterclass. It's free. Uh, just put in your email and you'll get a lot from that masterclass and you'll see if you would like to join Lightside, you'll see how you can do that there. So yeah, I love talking to colleagues from around the world.

 

Kiera Dent (33:53.768)

awesome.

 

Kyle Stanley (33:56.426)

been really, really rewarding to help people in this specific aspect of dentistry.

 

Kiera Dent (34:02.311)

It's amazing. Guys, go check it out. I think Kyle is one of the greatest influencers and just like blessings to dentistry. I feel like he's speaking and he's just like you. And I believe that like proximity, a dentist who's just like you can really just give you that piece. So Kyle, thank you for being on the podcast. Thank you for just changing my life. It was so fun when I met you and I was like 100% we're getting on the podcast together. I'm going to see you everywhere. But thank you for today. I really appreciate it. Of course. All right. And for all of you listening, I'm going to go ahead and turn it over to Kyle. I'm going to turn it over to Kyle.

 

Kyle Stanley (34:20.924)

Yeah.

 

Kyle Stanley (34:25.09)

Thanks so much for having me. It's been a pleasure.

 

Kiera Dent (34:29.039)

Guys, tis the season. Let's not have life be hard. Like make yourself the priority. Let's be well all the way around. Check out Kyle's. He's amazing. Follow him on Instagram. Go check out his masterclass. And as always, thanks for listening. I'll catch you next time on the Dental 18 podcast.